These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends
by dharma.issued
Summary: Bella is trying to make amends with her estranged father, but when the delinquent Edward comes into her life things get complicated. Can mistakes of the past be corrected in the present? Can enemies come together and find common ground? AU, AH, OOC E/B
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**This is my first fanfic, and I don't see myself as much of a writer but I like the idea I had in my head so I decided to give it a trail run. If you guys like it and want to read more then I will continue and if not then I will give it up and let the masters work. If I were to continue, there will be BPOV and CharliePOV as well. In my head this story has a lot of potential and I know where I want this to go, lots of drama, lots of angst and a whole lot of sexy Edwardness. **

**Any similarities with my Edward and the Edwards expressed in other fanfics, or rather any similarities period, is coincidental, I swear. I'm not trying to steal anyone's ideas so I apologize before hand if it seems that way. And I don't own Twilight or its associates, SM does, the credit is all hers.**

**FYI - AH, OOC  
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EPOV

_Fuck my life._

I suppose this is all my fault, I shouldn't have allowed myself to think I would get away with it this time. I had finally pushed my luck too far and now I was leaning against the side of my car, damning Chief Swan to the fiery pits of hell as he used his cell phone to call Carlisle. Dr. Carlisle Cullen, my father, must have told him that, after I had come home drunk off my ass last weekend, he had taken my license away and that I wasn't supposed to be driving my car. There could be no other reason why he pulled me over - I hadn't made any illegal turns, or ran a stop sign or anything, hell, I wasn't even speeding! And I knew this for a fact because I'm not an idiot. I knew I was breaking the rules so I followed all the traffic laws to the fucking T. So, it took me by surprise when I saw those ever-so-fucking-ominous red and blue lights flash in my review mirror. Realization dawned on me then and I mentally slapped myself because I should have _known_ Carlisle would go to the chief and ask him to keep an eye out for me. I should have been more careful. And now I was going to have to spend another night in Carlisle's office, going over his rules… his endless, asinine rules.

_Fuck my life, indeed._

As the chief briefed Carlisle on the situation, I dug in my pocket for my cigarettes, risking getting them confiscated and leaving myself open for a lecture about the "dangers" of smoking and all that other bullshit, but I didn't give a fuck - I would get another one tomorrow before school if he took them. So, I lit a cigarette, took a reverent pull, leaned my head back slightly, and exhaled slowly, watching the smoke dissipate into the cold night air. I didn't know what kind of trouble I was in, but since the chief was yet to actually arrest me and he was using his personal phone to call Carlisle, I assumed it was minimal.

I looked over at him as he spoke into the phone and watched him for a moment as I enjoyed my cigarette but he must have felt my stare because he looked at me suddenly and smirked, one side of his big ass mustache lifting. And in that moment, I wanted to pound him into the ground; a task I know I could manage because Charlie Swan isn't a particularly big man. He's as tall as me, which would put him at 6'2", but slighter than my 200 pounds… I guess you could call him… _wiry_? Maybe. Well wiry or not, he was a cop, after all, and he did have a gun. Not that I was worried about that, I knew he wouldn't use it. To be perfectly honestly, I was more worried about the yellow taser strapped to his belt - he had a look about him that screamed "I'm a pussy! I'd much rather incapacitate you instantly than draw my gun and hope you're scared enough to comply willingly." And tasers hurt. A lot. So I let it go.

Resigned, I leaned back against my car and smoked my cigarette. I nestled deeper into my jacket as the cold started to seep in and stood there smoking while l listened to the chief's one-sided conversation. Apparently, he had spotted my car as he had been walking out of the gas station and then proceeded to follow me for a bit. Then he told Carlisle the exact thing that killed me about the whole situation; that if it had been a minute later he wouldn't have seen me at all.

_Just my fucking luck, huh? _It seemed about right; things hadn't been going well for me as of late. As of ever, actually.

After an excruciatingly long minute, he finally told Carlisle our location so he could come pick me up. I was grateful that I wasn't being arrested again but I guessed it was more some kind of personal favor to Dr. Cullen than the chief deciding to be lenient with me for once – he's usually as harsh as the law allowed. _Power-crazy motherfucker._ And I knew this wasn't going to be the last time I would have a run-in with the chief, it was only a matter of time before we met again.

I can truly say I hate the bastard; Chief Swan, protector of the small town of Forks, Washington, Mr. I'm-always-in-the-right-place-at-the-right-time-to-catch-Edward-every-single-fucking-time-he-decides-to-break-the-rules. And apparently, now he was Mr. I-have-nothing-better-to-do-in-this-shit-hole-town-than-to-be-Dr. Cullen's-watch-dog. _As if I need this shit_. I suppressed a sigh as the memories of all our encounters flooded my mind; the times he had caught me skipping school, the time he got me for underage drinking, when he caught me smoking weed, the time he found me in the back seat of my car with a girl… the list goes on.

"Alright, Edward," he said, walking over to me, finally having hung up with Carlisle. "Dr. Cullen's comin' to pick you up."

I felt a momentary pang of guilt for causing Carlisle and Esme, my mother, to lose sleep; it was three in the morning and he had to be at the hospital at six so I knew he probably wasn't going to get anymore sleep tonight, what with the rule review and all and my mom woke up for work around six as well. But I was essentially a selfish being so my guilt was short-lived.

"What about my car?" I asked, using my thumb and middle finger to pitch my cigarette into the street. The chief didn't seem to like my blatant littering in front of his face, but he ignored it in light of his next comment.

"Well, after tonight, I'm not so sure that this car belongs to _you_ anymore." He said with that same fucking smirk as earlier and the urge to pound on him flared again, only this time, far more intense. Where I found the restraint to resist it, I don't know. He let me chew on his comment for minute before adding, "He's bringing Emmett to drive it back."

_Fucking, bitch!_ I grimaced and suppressed the thought. It wasn't that I had anything against Emmett, my brother, I loved the motherfucker, but I never let anyone drive my car, not even Carlisle and technically speaking, it was _his_ car. He had given it to me for my birthday and legally it remained in his name, but in essence, it was _my_ car… _was_ my car…

"Ha!" he snickered at my obvious aversion to his comment, and somehow managed to look down his nose at me. "Maybe now you'll get the picture that you can't just go around doing whatever you want, whenever you want, kid."

Whatever will power I was using to keep my previous anger at bay was completely obliterated by that one extremely belittling and – to me at least - extremely disrespectful word. I was _not_ a fucking _kid_.

"Kid?" I asked, calmly using my foot to push away from the car and turning to face Chief Swan. He was backed up against the car now and his eyes widened slightly as I saw a very brief, but very real look of fear in his brown eyes that only fueled my anger. "Do I look like a fucking kid to you?" I asked as I stood leaning into him with my arms crossed over my chest. Intimidation was my goal and at first it looked to be working. But he was having none of that. He moved with almost startling speed as he quickly pivoted his body around me and was now in the middle of the street with his hand was on his yellow taser. I stifled a chuckle as the chief all but confirmed my suspicions. He didn't say anything as he stood there, he just stared at me. He was probably waiting for me to make another move before drawing the taser, but I wasn't in the mood to antagonize him further, so I sulked back against my car yet again, resigned to let him win this round. When he realized I wasn't going to be difficult he nodded his head victoriously, smirked again and walked back to his cruiser to get out of the cold. _Pussy._ A thought crossed my mind that perhaps it was merely department protocol to use the taser over the gun and I shook my head, I liked my reasoning much better.

Most cops probably wouldn't leave their detainee alone like this but we both knew I wasn't going anywhere. It was border line police brutality if you asked me, I couldn't even get back in my car since he had already taken my keys, so I was left to stand out in the blistering fucking cold, freezing my ass off. It was January and my guess was that it was just at or maybe even below freezing tonight. Luckily, my house wasn't too far away and Carlisle would be here soon. I leaned against my car, huddled in my jacket, and waited.

After a few minutes I heard the soft purr of Carlisle's Mercedes as he slowed to a stop in front of my Volvo. Emmett got out of the car first and I noticed he looked less than half awake. Poor guy_._ I made a mental note to apologize to him later; he liked his sleep almost as much as I liked my car. Then Carlisle stepped out and I felt even worse because I thought Emmett looked bad… Carlisle looked like shit. He was disheveled, his blonde hair was a mess and he was he had dark circles under his eyes. I didn't see my mother so I assumed she had stayed in bed. And when Carlisle saw me he didn't even really look at me, he just walked past me towards the chief's cruiser. I watched him as he approached the cruiser but was distracted when I realized Emmett was now at my side.

"So, you had to get caught the night before we go back to school?" He said quietly, his voice still think with sleep.

I scoffed, "My bad, man." It was all I could say and apparently it was all the apology Emmett needed, he just rolled his eyes and shrugged. I was forgiven. Sometimes I'm amazed at how lucky I am to have a brother like Emmett. He's older than me by a year and much larger but he's just a big kid at heart. And after all the shit I've put him through, he was never mad at me, never held a grudge. He's not only my brother, he's my best friend and he knew where I went and why I went there so nothing else needed to be said.

"I ain't mad at you, bro," He said with a smile but it faded quickly, "Dad's pissed though; he didn't say a word the whole drive. Didn't even tell me what happened, he just woke me up and said 'let's go'. I assumed it had somethin' to do with you so I came quietly." He was looking straight ahead but he turned his eyes in my direction, "How'd he catch you?"

I told Emmett the story and my theory and he nodded and hmm'd but didn't say anything. I knew that if he knew about Carlisle's trap he would have told me, so I didn't even bother asking. We waited quietly against the car while Carlisle thanked the chief. He walked over to us and handed my keys to Emmett.

"Take the Volvo back and get some sleep. If your mother's awake or asks you, just tell her we'll be home later." He still wouldn't look at me; instead his eyes followed the fading lights of the chief's cruiser.

Where the hell are we going now? I wasn't expecting him to be so upset, all things considered, it could have been a lot worse.

Emmett stared blankly at Carlisle. "Uhhh… ok..." He looked as lost as I felt about the whole "later" thing but didn't say anything as he shot me an apologetic glance and got in my car. He started the engine quickly and pulled out, and I stood there in awkward silence with Carlisle.

I didn't know if I should say anything to him or not but I figured starting off with an apology was probably best. I hung my head and pawed at the ground with the toe of my shoe, hamming it up a bit. "Dad, look, I'm sor- "

"Just get in the car, Edward," was all he said as he walked back to his car, still not looking at me.

Yeah. This is gonna suck.

--

We were sitting in a booth at the fairly empty Forks Dinner, which was mercifully open 24/7. We had both ordered coffee but neither of us was drinking; instead we were having, what I would call, a stare down. It was impossible to read the emotion in his eyes but it looked like he was trying to decide the best way to start in on me. The good thing was that he didn't look mad, just really annoyed. Carlisle and I have always had a very easy relationship, he's great father; he provides for our family, he spends as much quality time with us as he can spare in his hectic schedule and, when it comes down to it, we're friends. So, I knew Carlisle would forgive me, he always did. He was kind of a push over and not only with me but with Emmett as well, it's just in his nature to forgive. But, I always worried that one day I would go too far and he wouldn't be so forgiving, but considering my offense tonight was almost insignificant compared to some of the other ones, I hoped I would get off with a warning.

Carlisle opened his mouth as if he was about to speak but quickly closed it again, he did this several times before he finally spoke. "You know we took your license away for a reason, right? And you know you're not allowed to drive you're car until I give it back to you, so why did you do it?" He waited for me to respond and when I didn't, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, and then he placed his elbow on the table and rubbed his face. "Was this the first time? That you've snuck out, I mean."

"Yes." Lie.

He gave me a disbelieving look, "Honestly, Edward."

"I _am_ being honest, Dad." But I wasn't; this wasn't the first time. In fact, I probably couldn't tell you the number of times I've done it. But I leaned forward with my hands clasped in front of me and my elbows on the table and continued my lie, "Look, I'm sorry I snuck out and I'm sorry I took my car when I know I'm not allowed, and I'm just sorry about everything, I was bored."

He raised his eye brows at me, "You were _bored_?" He asked incredulously.

Ok, maybe I should have gone with another excuse. But I was already in too deep so I stuck with my lie again, I just wanted to get this over with. "Well, yeah. I mean, school starts up again tomorrow and I just wanted one more night to myself," I shrugged.

Carlisle brought a hand to his face and rubbed his eyes slowly, after a few seconds he leaned back in his seat and chuckled humorlessly. "Edward… you're grounded." _Yeah, I saw that coming. _"For a month." _A month?! "_Don't look at me like that; just be glad it's not longer. You're mother is very upset with you and I want you to know that I've asked Chief Swan to keep an eye on you. You're lucky he had plans this morning and didn't want to take the time to deal with this properly," he said as he poured cream into his coffee.

"Oh, yeah I'm real lucky." I rolled my eyes. "That guys a prick."

"That may be." He took a sip of his coffee, "But please try to stay out of his hair, son. His daughter is coming to live with him and he hasn't been in her life very much, so the last thing he needs right now is to put up with your bullshit while he tries to make amends."

My eyebrows shot up.

"His daughter?" I only knew the chief as a prick, it was too hard to imagine him as a father.

"Yeah, she used to come spend the summer with him until a few years ago, but she stopped coming around all of a sudden. From what I hear, she's about your age, probably in the same grade as you."

I laughed internally at the thought of Chief Swan having a teenage daughter. What must that be like?

I lingered on the thought for a second but then remembered that Carlisle had just said that this girl had been to Forks before and it didn't make sense to me why someone would willingly move back to this shithole. So either she actually liked it here, which I doubted, or she was moving against her will, or maybe she was just crazy or something. "So, what's up with her?"

But Carlisle was no longer paying attention to me; instead he had pulled out his Blackberry and was scrolling through it. "What do you mean?" He asked absently.

"Like, what's wrong with her? Why would she wanna live with the chief all of a sudden?" I figured I could use my well known disdain for the chief to extract more information.

He shot me a condescending look, "I don't think there's anything _wrong_ with her, Edward. She probably just wants to get to know her father better or something, it's not irrational." He looked down at his watch and grimaced; it was now five in the morning. "Anyway, we should get back, I have to get ready for my shift and you need to get cleaned up for school." He took out his wallet and dropped a couple of bills on the table. He stood and I followed his lead but as we were standing he looked at me so suddenly I was a bit taken aback. But then I knew what was coming. "Edward?"

"Yeah..?"

He looked me dead in the eye, "Don't let this happen again, or I _will_ take your car back for good."

He was all kinds of serious and it kind of made me want to laugh but I also really wanted this to just be over so I set my jaw, put on my most reassuring expression, gave him my best smile, and I lied once more, "Dad, this will not happen again."

He held my gaze for what felt like minutes. I think he was looking for remorse or something but he knew he wasn't going to find anything so he finally nodded. "And if your mother asks, tell her I really laid in on you." And then he gave me a wide, toothy smile that I couldn't help but return and I was reminded of just how much I love my dad even though sometimes I forget.

He smiled wider still and clapped me on my back with a very prideful expression… and just like that… it was over.

--

When we got home my mother was already up. And she was waiting for me in the kitchen, standing on the other side of the island, leaning against the counter by the coffee maker wearing a grey pant suit with a white collared shirt, very professional. As Carlisle walked around the island to give her a kiss she gave him an appraising look before she allowed him the sentiment.

I understood that look.

She was trying to figure out if he had followed the game plan, if he had disciplined me accordingly, because I'm sure that before he left to pick me up she had told him what was to be said about the infraction. But she knew as well as I did that Carlisle just didn't have it in him to punish his sons, he never had, he never will. And since I knew that she knew this, I've been expecting this ever since I first saw those flashing lights in my rear view mirror.

I walked to the refrigerator and pulled out the orange juice while they said their good mornings and what-nots, poured myself a big glass and took my seat at the island. And just like I knew would happen, once Carlisle left she turned on me.

"Are you going to tell me where you were or should I just assume the worst and be satisfied with that? Because, regardless, I'm still very disappointed in you, Edward."

And there it was, right off the bat, the one thing in this world that could bring me to my knees; my mother's disappointment in me. She pulled this shit every time, and every time, it worked like a fucking charm. Hook, line, and guilt-trip sinker. She knew how to break me. She's my mother, of course she does.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Carlisle and we're close but… with my mom, well it's different. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a straight up mama's boy, that's a title I'd willingly bare for the world to see because my mom is the shit. And I'm her baby, her youngest - her favorite, we all know it. But Emmett's cool; he has Carlisle, I have my mother. She doesn't neglect Em or anything, he's still her first born, she doesn't love him any less, it's just different with me. And if I have one redeeming quality left, it's that I love my mother, heart and soul and I would do anything for her, be whoever she wanted me to be if it would make her happy, if I could always make her proud of me.

Yet, what was I doing now? I was doing the opposite, I was disappointing her.

I was failing.

And I don't fucking fail.

I raised my head to look her in the eye. "Mom… I wasn't doing anything bad," I pleaded with my eyes for her to believe me even though we both knew I was full of shit; I just couldn't bear the thought of her thinking the worst of me. It didn't help that she gave me a very disbelieving look. So, I dug deeper, "I swear I wasn't. I was just driving around."

"Do you think I like being lied to my face?"

Oh. It was one of _those_ days. One of those intervention days where she didn't allow herself to fall for my shit, she had a point to make. I sighed, kind of wanting to laugh again but mortified all the same.

"Edward," she continued as she rounded the island and took my face in her hands, a gesture I would allow only her to do, "I'm your mother and I love you to death and that will never change but you are being stupid and reckless and I don't know what else I can say to get your attention, but _this_ has to _stop_. I can't keep doing this with you. I cannot spend one more sleepless night worrying about my baby, wondering what it is that I've done that has made you do these things, made you act this way." As her tears started to fall from her deep emerald eyes, the same eyes that she had given to me, I was finally getting it. She thought it was her fault. She blamed herself for my failure. "But I know there is nothing I can say to stop you. I know you're going to do what you want. All I can do is wait for you to realize that what you are doing is wrong, and that's all I can do."

I was ending this now, before I lost it myself. I hate see my mom cry, the only thing I hate more is that I'm the source of her grief. I stood up and cradled _her_ face in _my_ hands now as I towered over her, "This is not your fault, Mom. I don't want you to think like that, you did nothing wrong. You raised me right, you and dad both. You taught me well, and I'm not an idiot, I know what I'm doing, I just need to figure some stuff out." She appraised me for a minute and I could tell she wanted to say more but she knows how goddamn stubborn I am so I reassured her, "I promise I'll be better. I don't want you to worry."

She reached up to stoke my cheek with her soft hand, rubbing her thumb against the light stubble on my jaw, "I'll always worry about my baby."

I sighed, I could feel the forgiveness coming, one more move and I'd have her. I jutted out my bottom lip, giving her the pout I'd been using since second grade to get my way. "You forgive me?"

She sighed, knowing I was playing her but helpless to stop it nonetheless, "What choice do I have?" She pulled my head down and kissed my forehead gently, "But until I say so, you're riding to school with your brother."

Mother. Fuck.

She got me.

Because in the end, she always did.

Because she was my mother.

I hung my head and without another word she left me standing in the middle of the kitchen, completely fucking punished.

--

Part of me wanted to kill my mother for subjecting me to this bullshit. I guess she thought it would be _funny_ to have me ride to school with Emmett for the duration of my grounding but for me it was pure torture. But I knew that if anything, this was the perfect punishment. Riding with Em alone was fine, I could be very happy with that. Like I said, my brother and I get on very well. But, as it were, Emmett has a girlfriend who rides to and from school with him. And again, I love the shit out of my brother… but his girlfriend was a whole other issue. She and I get on great too but, she and Em are just too damn gross for me to stomach. I haven't met anyone who can tolerate being around them for more than a few minutes.

And now, I'm sitting in the back seat of Emmett's jeep watching him and Rose grope each other, and it's unsettling. We just picked her up from her house and as soon as she was in the car, she was on Emmett. It's disgusting how intense they are with each other sometimes. And they've always been this way, even from day one. I understand that there's a honeymoon phase but it was anything but a _phase_ for these two, they've been dating for a solid year and a half, and they're just as happy as always. I rarely see them mad with each other; I don't think they ever fight and I doubt they've even ever broken up, which is saying something for any teenage relationship. Watching them pet each other makes me wonder if perhaps it's their intense passion for each other makes them such a good match, because I will admit _that_, they are perfect for each other. Emmett and Rosalie are like fire and ice; when Rose gets mad or upset its Em that calms her, and when he gets too excited over something, she brings him back down to earth - the hot chick and the cool guy… fire and motherfucking ice.

I cleared my throat.

It didn't work, they were still wrapped around each other with no end in sight.

So I did it again, louder.

Still nothing. I sighed.

"Fucking seriously?!"

Rosalie kept kissing Em but her eyes met mine for a moment before she finally broke away and glanced at me. "Oh, I forgot about you." She gave Emmett one last peck before turning around and facing me, "Now, how long will you be gracing us with your presence, Edward?" she chirped, a huge ass grin on her face.

"As long as I can handle seeing you two trying to devour each other. It won't be long, though, I can feel the vomit coming up." I put my fist to my mouth and faked a gag. I usually teased them like this, I didn't really worry that I would offend her, she'd been around so long she was practically family too.

She chuckled softly and turned around to face the windshield. As Em was pulling away from the curb, she reached out and caressed his forearm, "We need to find him a girl, honey bunny." I smiled despite myself because her pet name for Em never failed to make me do so. Pulp Fiction. Emmett had himself a good girl and, I'll admit, sometimes she's pretty fucking cool.

Em let out his trademark hearty chuckle and grabbed hold of her hand, intertwining his fingers with her, "He needs more than that, sweetness."

Truer words had never been spoken.

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**A/N**

**Ok, there it is. I would love to read what you guys think, I'm open to criticism but please be kind. I tried to add a little humor in there, overall I want there to be quite a bit in this story, I think a funny Edward is the shit. **

**Sorry if the grammar and punctuation are off, I was never good at it.  
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**You got questions? I got answers. Lets get it on!  
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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Sorry it took so long for an update, I've been fighting one of the worse cases of writers block I've had yet. I just find Bella so hard to get on track with, I don't know why but sometimes it flows and sometimes it doesn't. EPOV coming up next so hopefully I'll have it out sooner. and sorry for the short length of it, I wanted to save some goods for later.**

**And thanks to Dra, my rooommate; he was my beta for this chapter, and he is on my back about continuing this story, I guess he likes it :)**

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BPOV

What… the… hell…

What time is it?

I nuzzled my pace into my pillow, unwilling to wake up because judging by the amount of light in the room, it was too damn early. I rolled over to look at the clock, it read 6:55 AM. I had _five_ minutes before my alarm went off - _five_ minutes. I groaned aloud. I really wanted those five minutes of sleep even though I knew it really wouldn't make a difference, but still… it was the principle of the matter. I'm not a morning person… at all, I drag so much ass in the morning it's ridiculous. It takes me a good thirty minutes to get ready, not because I'm fussy about the way I look - I honestly don't care much about that - but because I don't have enough energy to go any faster. I groaned again and tried to rub the sleep from my eyes but, like always, it didn't work and I felt myself drifting back to sleep. Knowing what would happen if I continued to lie here, I rolled over until I felt the edge of the bed… and then I went over.

I hit the cold floor with an _umph._ I had tried to land with the covers mostly underneath me to soften the fall but I didn't fully succeed. Instead, I landed on my shoulder and the pain alone was enough to wake me up. "Oooww," I sighed, I didn't have enough energy yet to say it any louder than a whisper.

With my head on the floor I could hear Charlie coming up the stairs, he must want to make sure I was awake and getting ready for school. I closed my eyes and listened as his footsteps approached my door but he hesitated right outside, I assumed he was trying to decide whether to knock or just walk in and I was kind of curious as to what he was going to do. I will give him credit for not just walking in, it showed he was at least courteous, or maybe he was just afraid he would walk in on something he didn't want to see. Either way I appreciated his consideration. He waited a few more seconds before he rapped softly on the door and opened it slightly, not even waiting for permission.

Well, at least he gave me a warning.

With my eyes closed I couldn't see his initial reaction to seeing me laid out on the floor by my bed, my blankets spewed out about me, but I'm sure it was priceless. I heard him gasp and he hurried to my side, dropping to his knees by my head.

"Bella! Are you alright?" He exclaimed.

I didn't even open my eyes to respond, "I'm fine, Charlie," I assured him, groggily, "I just need a minute."

"Well, why are you on the floor? Did you fall off the bed?" I finally opened my eyes to look at him and had to suppress a laugh at his deeply concerned expression.

Aw, he's finally trying to be a father. It was kind of cute.

_NOT! _

Where the hell was this when I really needed it?

I rolled my eyes, "I didn't really _fall… _it's just what I do to wake myself up." He looked really confused so I clarified, "If I lay in bed, I'll just fall back asleep. It's motivation I guess," I said through a yawn.

He still looked confused and concerned but what more could he do but accept it, he and I both knew he had a lot to learn about me. Because in all honesty, he had never really known me, and I had never known him – on a personal level anyway. He was my father and I was his daughter, nothing more had ever been between us, and as much as I hate to admit it, I've never really minded because in my opinion it was his fault. He was the adult, he was the parent, I was his responsibility but he chose his job over me, and not only me but my mother as well. He could have fought for me, fought for our relationship when I was too young to do it myself, too young to have a voice, a say in what happened in my life. He could have been there, but he wasn't. And now what are we? We're strangers, until he had picked me up at the airport last night I hadn't even seen my father in a year, and it hadn't gone very well the last time; he had come to visit me for my birthday in Phoenix and we had been arguing over something and I vaguely remember yelling that I was never going back to Forks. I hated it here, I always had, and I probably always will. The only reason I'm here now is because I want my mother to be happy, even if her new husband is a pompous asshole. Not that my father is any better but at least I have an edge over him, as his only child, his only _daughter _at that, I know how to play my dad like a fiddle. He had always tried to compensate for his lack of presence in my life by granting me whatever I asked for, but I rarely asked anything from Charlie – which is probably why he agreed to this in the first place.

I'm not sure how pleased he honestly was that I was going to be living with him at least until college, but he had seemed happy enough when I told him of my plans to allow my mother a proper honeymoon. I had called him the day after my mom accepted Phil's proposal, I really didn't want to bother him with my request but it was my only option really; my mother had sacrificed so much for me that I felt the need to give her something back, even if it meant putting myself in an extreme amount of discomfort. My mother had objected, of course, stating that Charlie was too immature, too much of a workaholic and that _I _would be the one taking care of _him_ in the end, but we both knew it was half-hearted because until Phil had come along _I_ had been the one taking care of _her_ all my life. And considering that Charlie was barely in his mid-thirties and had been a bachelor for fourteen years, I didn't doubt that he was anymore of an adult than I was, but that was something I was definitely not worried about. I could take care of myself, I had been doing it most of my life, I was just in a different setting now, and I'd adjust eventually.

Charlie was still lingering by my head with that same concerned expression on his face and I could tell he had no intention of leaving until I had proven I was really ok. "Can you give me a minute, Dad?" I asked as I propped myself up on an elbow. I really didn't enjoy calling him "dad" and I rarely did it - only when I wanted to get my way and it usually worked, it was a secret weapon of sorts. And it worked this time as Charlie managed to produce an endearing look before he appraised me one last time. Satisfied that I appeared to be alright, he said softly as he finally stood, "Yeah, ok." He looked down at me with a small smile, "I'll be downstairs if you need me." He left me alone then and I spent the next half hour trying not to think about the rest of my day, which was sure to be a complete disaster.

--

There were a lot of things that sucked about Charlie being a cop but the one I hated the most was his stupid police cruiser. Charlie went everywhere in this damned thing. I had told him I would walk but after arguing for ten minutes I finally gave in. I wish I hadn't. It was bad enough that I was the new girl but add the fact that "Daddy" had to drive me around in his official police cruiser and I was sure to be the biggest loser ever. With that being said, I had told Charlie goodbye and scurried out of the car as soon as it had rolled to a stop, the less time to attract attention, the better. But it was too late, it seemed everyone in the whole school had been waiting for me to arrive and as soon as I stepped out of the cruiser, all eyes were on me… it was disconcerting. But I pushed on. I didn't want to dwell on the stares I was getting so I walked with my head down to find the office and pick up my schedule.

In all honesty, I wasn't expecting to make many friends in Forks, I knew the situation; I was the new girl, the outside from some far away land. I mean, it was a small town for Christ's sake, everyone here had grown up together, they had all gone to the same school all their lives, had had the same classes, been on the same teams, even dated the same people, I'm sure. It was going to be very hard for me to find a place here but I was going to try and hopefully I was just being a worry-wart and it would be easy than I anticipated.

The main office was easy to find, I spotted it as soon as I walked in the main doors and it seems the administration was waiting for me too because I didn't even have time to look around before I heard a female voice calling my name. "You must be Isabella!"

I looked up and found that the voice belonged to a middle aged, heavy-set, bleach blonde woman sitting at her desk behind the counter. She was all smiles and she did seem to be very nice but I noted with horror that she had called me Isabella. I loathe my full name but I had never told Charlie this particular fact - which, in turn, means no one else knows either and I cringed at the fact that I was going to have to correct everyone for the rest of the day. I sighed. "Just Bella," I said simply, it was my usual response when someone used my whole name.

Her smile faltered a bit but she recovered quickly, "Oh, I'm sorry, dear. Well, _Bella_, Charlie's told us all about you. We're so excited to have you here. I'm Mrs. Cope, please, come on in." She waved me over to the counter and shuffled through a stack of papers as I closed the door behind me. "I have your schedule here somewhere. And we noticed in your transcript that you were in Advanced Placement in Phoenix so went ahead and placed you in AP here as well. We may not be as up to date as your old school but I'm sure you'll have no problem acclimating. Here you go, honey." She handed me my schedule and I looked over it quickly. I had liked my schedule in Phoenix and I had been worried about what changes I'd have to endure here but I was very pleased to find that I had mostly the same classes. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. "Everything look alright, dear?"

I smiled up at her because for the first time since I had decided to leave Phoenix, I was happy and maybe a little hopeful.

A little.

Maybe.

Kinda.

"It's great, thank you."

If possible, her smile widened a bit. She was obviously ecstatic that I was pleased with my schedule, "It's no problem. We just want you to be happy here. And if there's anything I can help you with, please let me know." I just nodded and smiled at her again.

I turned to leave and was about to pull the door open but it swung open before my outstretched hand could reach the handle and I suddenly found myself standing in front of a tall figure. I took a step back to get a good look at the boy in front of me. He had an average build and was tall - but I'm five foot three so most people seem tall to me, but if I had to put a number on it, I'd guess he was almost six feet – and he was blonde, dirty blonde, with blue eyes and he was wearing a red and white letterman jacket over a white t-shirt, blue jeans and a pair of all black converse. Overall, he was cute - not gorgeous or anything but very cute. He was looking down at me with a surprised look on his face and then I could see understanding hit him as he realized who I was.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to almost run into you," he chuckled softly. "You must be Isabella." He held out his hand, "I'm Mike. Newton."

I shook his hand shakily, "Just Bella." I gave him a big smile.

He tilted his head slightly as he continued to stare at me but before he could say anything else, Ms. Cope called him over, "Oh, Michael, thank goodness you're here. Why don't you be a dear and show Bella around today, make sure she finds everything alright." He finally moved his eyes from me and looked over at her. "I'm sure you have at least one class together."

Mike/Michael smiled as he looked down at me, "Sure, I'd love to. That is, if you'd like, Bella…" he gave me the option. I liked that.

"Sure." He had potential.

"Wonderful," Ms. Cope continued, "Hurry along now or you'll be late for class." She proceeded to herd us out of the office and waved us off.

Mike looked down at me and I noticed that he had bit of a goatee going on. It wasn't thick or pronounced, it was subtle and light and the exact same shade of blonde as the hair on his head. It was kind of sexy. It made me wonder what else I had missed on my first inspection.

His voice tore me from my thoughts, "Can I take a look at your schedule so I can show you the best way to get around?"

I handed him over the paper, afraid that if I said something that I would sound retarded. He took a second to look it over and then a huge smile spread across his face. "We have a couple of classes together, History and Biology, first and fifth periods, come on, it's this way." I let him lead me down the hall which was still full of students, most of whom were still staring at me. Mike seemed to notice this as well, "Don't worry, Bella, people always get worked up over anything new. Truth be told, not a lot happens here, so they get pretty excited when there's something new to talk about. Just ignore them." He looked down at me again with a big smile, a reassuring smile. I felt better instantly.

Mike led me into the small classroom and introduced me to Mr. Straus who issued me a book and a syllabus and assigned me a seat which unfortunately was on the opposite end of the room from Mike. It seemed too soon to cling to him like this but he was like a lifeline for me, I didn't know anybody yet and I was so damn nervous and lonely that i was not passed taking what I could get. Plus, he had been really nice so far... and, yes, cute. I was starting to feel uneasy again as I found my seat next to a big, burly guy but Mike caught my eye from across the now crowded room and winked at me. He was too sweet. Settling into my seat I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The room was smaller than I was used to but then again the school I came from housed about four thousand students compared to this school's four _hundred_. It was cozy though, and warm. The class size was surprisingly small, I counted thirteen other students, myself excluded, but I actually liked this change, it was definitely better than almost thirty students per class, hands down. It was less chaotic, more personal. My assigned seat was in the back of the room, naturally, and I was grateful for this because it meant that no one could stare at me, unless they were just straight up rude and didn't care if I saw them doing it. Thankfully though, throughout the class period hardly anyone paid attention to me, except for Mike. He kept looking back at me from his seat in the front of the class, I guess to make sure I was doing alright. I just grinned at him for reassurance.

Ms. Cope was right, the AP program here wasn't as advanced as what I'd had in Phoenix, I'd had this lesson last semester and after checking the syllabus, I realized I'd already covered the whole course. I decided to keep this information to myself, why complain? It seemed I would have at least one "bird course" this year. I chuckled, unable to help myself.

So far, so good.

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**A/N**

**Ok, what do you all think? Any questions, concerns or comments?  
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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**ugh, sorry for the delay, excuses, excuses. i know, i suck. hopefully it was worth it...**

**there is some content that might not mesh well with everyone but oh well.**

**again, thanks to Dra, my beta once again. and for staying on my ass about this thing. i swear he's such a girl about it lol.  
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EPOV

So the drive to school was bearable, but just barely. And as soon as we pulled into the parking space, I fucking bolted. There was no way in hell I was riding with them another fucking day. Screw that, I was fucking walking, _gladly_ fucking walking. I'm sure it was probably in breach of the punishment my mother had established but I'd just fucking lie to her again and get Emmett to play along, I knew he wouldn't care either way.

But all bullshit aside, I was fucking tired. I hadn't slept in twenty-four hours and it was starting to wear on me, I could feel the weight of it as I walked through the parking lot towards the gym. I really wanted to just sleep through my first couple of periods but I had Gym first hour and there was no way I was going to be able to sleep through it, so I had two options: one, I could go to Gym and tough it out until next period or two, I could go find Jasper and just skip Gym altogether.

I smiled.

I didn't really need any time to consider. I pulled out my phone and dialed Jasper. He picked up on the second ring,

"Whatchu want, bitch?" he answered in his southern drawl.

I chuckled, "You feel like blowing off Gym, girl?" I only asked out of courtesy, I knew very well what his answer would be.

"You read my fuckin' mind, dude. Where are you right now?"

"I am in the middle of the parking lot, standing next to Cheney's busted ass Honda. Where you parked?" I looked around trying spot his truck.

"We're in the back by the track." I spun around and scanned the back of the lot for his black Explorer then finally spotted it.

"Alright, I see you, I'm walking over now." I hung up and started towards his truck and tried not to think about the fact that he had said "we" which meant that Alice was with him, but that didn't entirely surprise me, Alice and Jasper were very much inseparable these days. I sighed at the fact that I was going to be the odd man out yet again. It had been this way for a few months now since Alice and Jasper had gotten together, before that he had been my wingman but now things were different; better for them, worse for me. But wasn't about me. If Jazz was happy then I was happy, I had felt the same about Em when he hooked up with Rose, so I knew I'd get over it eventually. Plus, I was used to being alone by now.

I made it to the truck and Jasper and Alice were still sitting inside so I opened the door and jumped in the backseat… and I was met with the most amazing scent on this earth.

Weed.

Fucking good weed from the smell of it. It smelled like pine and fucking … _beauty_…

I leaned in between the two front seats and found Jasper breaking up a nice sized bud with his fingers over one of Alice's fashion magazines. He was barely touching it and it was crumbling between his fingers, all light and fluffy. My mouth was fucking watering at the sight of it and wait – oh shit, I was actually drooling. I wiped my chin quickly as Jasper looked over at me and I gave him a big ass smile. "You know I love you right, Jazz?"

He laughed and returned his attention to the task at hand, "You fuckin' better, this shit was hard to get, I had to call like ten dudes before I found some good shit, all anyone had was regular shit. These small town folk just don't understand the importance of variety."

"Apparently. You'd think being so close to Canada we'd have a better selection."

He shook his head, "What gets me is that the shit is out there, it's just that people in this town are so god damn cheap and scared that no dealer will carry the expensive shit 'cause it won't sell. It's a god damn tragedy." He had finished breaking up the weed and was now working on cleaning out his pipe. It was a simple, glass chillum with a couple of simple decals on the sides, a one hitter. I fucking loved that pipe, it was small and compact but it got the job done. And it was pretty fucking cool.

"No," Alice finally chimed in, "What's a god damn tragedy is that we had to drive to Port Angeles to get it."

Whaaat!

"Dude," I said as I laughed in exasperation, "You drove all the way out there for some weed?" I was shocked but not surprised; it was such a Jasper thing to do. He was so much more of a pothead than any of us. He was the one who got us into it actually. He had moved up here from Texas a couple of years ago and had brought his passion for marijuana with him. And once he had me, I had Em and then Em got Rose and together we had all gotten Alice, she had been the last to break and had been the most resistant but because she was with Jazz, it would have happened eventually anyway, Jazz was very persuasive. And now we kind of had a _That 70's Show _thing going on. It was nice.

Jasper looked at me in disbelieve, "Yes, bitch! I fuckin' stocked up too."

Alice chuckled, "He really did."

"How much did you get?" I asked as Jazz took a big hit from the pipe and held it in his lungs.

He continued to hold his breath as he spoke so his voice was a little squeaky, "QP."

My jaw fucking dropped. "Are you fucking serious? You gonna sell now or what?" Jazz had been entertaining the idea for a while now but I never really thought he would ever do it.

He finally released the smoke from his lungs and an impressive, and fucking dense cloud of smoke drifted from his lips but he didn't cough, he rarely did anymore. He shook his head in response to my questions as he handed the pipe and lighter over to me. "I'm gonna try to sell about half of it. I think I'm gonna keep the rest for us." I brought the pipe to my lips and was about to light it when he gave me a warning, "Careful, young blood, that's some really good shit, its gonna fuck your ass up."

"Mmm," Alice hummed, "I can vouch for that, I took one hit last night and I was good, I was _too_ high, like almost scary high." Jasper nodded in agreement and reached over and took her hand in his.

"Yeah, but you're fucking tiny Alice. And I've been smoking longer than you anyway, I'll be alright, I can handle my shit." They both raised their eyebrows at me as if to say "alright, suit yourself". And I felt my pride swell as I brought the pipe to my mouth and lit the other end of it. I sucked hard and felt the burn of the smoke as it whooshed down my throat and into my eager lungs. I felt the tickle as my lungs reached their capacity and I fought the cough off because if I let it out, I would fucking die. I had hit it too hard but I wasn't about to give them the satisfaction of knowing that, so I held on for as long as I could but eventually I had to exhale and when I did, I lost my battle and the cough fucking overtook me. Alice was shaking with laughter as I hurriedly passed her the pipe and lighter. As soon as she removed the paraphernalia from my hand I doubled over in the backseat, coughing up a fucking lung. It burned so bad it brought tears to my eyes.

Jasper was laughing from a good, healthy place as I lay dying in the back seat of his truck. "I told you, bitch. If you weren't so fucking prideful…" he continued to chuckle at me.

"Fuck you!" I managed to croak out as I fought back against the rest of the coughs that were fighting to escape my throat. I took as deep a breath as I could and coughed one last, good time. Then I took a couple of small breaths to still myself, finally winning the war. "Ok, I'm good now." I wiped away the few tears that had fallen from my eyes as I sat up.

Alice had taken her hit while I was dying so I watched as she passed the pipe back to Jasper, our rotation coming full circle now. She turned around and looked me over, "Damn, Edward, your fucked up already aren't you?"

I was. My eyelids suddenly felt like they weighed five pounds, I couldfeel the nerves in my body becoming sensitive, time was becoming subjective and I could already feel the cotton-mouth coming on. "Yeah, and it doesn't help that I'm tired as hell, either."

"Long night?" Jasper asked as he handed me the pipe again.

"Dude, don't fucking get me started." I said angrily. I took a baby hit from the pipe and passed it to Alice who shook her head disappointingly but didn't call me on it.

"What happened? Stanley?"

"Well, her too, but my whole night was bullshit." I took a deep breath and rubbed my hand over my face as I recalled the moments before Chief Swan fucked my shit up.

--

I had been sitting on the edge of her bed with my head in my hands, listening to her babble on and on. My shirt was somewhere on the floor with my shoes and my pants remained undone around my waist, we had just finished having sex and she was nagging about our "status".

Great.

"I just think that since we've been together for a while now, we should make it official," I closed my eyes and my jaw clenched on reflex. Jessica was still naked, I'm sure it was all part of her plan to use her body to get her way yet again. She was on her knees, pressed up against my side, running hers hands through my hair. And she was good, I'll give her that; the petting she was doing, coupled with her close proximity, _was_ distracting me a little. But not nearly enough. "We don't have to sneak around anymore. I can go meet your parents and you can meet mine, it would be kind of nice. Don't you think?"

I sighed. I didn't want to have to do this. I thought she had understood where I stood on the matter of "us". I guess not.

I turned slightly to my left side then reached up and pulled her hands away from my hair and brought them into her lap and held them there. I looked her in the eye because I wanted her to know that I meant what I was about to say.

"Jessica… if I wanted you to be my girl, I would have asked you already."

I watched as her face fell, all the hope and excitement left her eyes and were replaced by cold, hard rejection as soon as the words left my lips. And I felt fucking bad, I really did. But I had never, not even in the beginning, shown any interest in being in a relationship with her. She had asked _me_ out, I had accepted, she had kissed _me_, I kissed her back, she removed _my_ shirt, I removed hers, and after that… well, nature took over from there. I only ever wanted her around for the physical perks; shit, she was my booty call, sad as it was. But I suppose I had seen the signs; her always trying to hold my hand when we talked at school, her always asking me to stay the night with her and cuddle her, so on and so forth. But she should have seen my signs as well, I always left once we were finished having sex, I hardly even kissed her anymore, and I don't think I've ever held her hand or touched her in any kind of affectionate way that didn't ultimately lead to sex. And it's not her, really – it's me. I'm just not an affectionate person, and I've never really liked a girl in a way that made me want to try. I mean, I've been physically attracted to many girls but I've never been emotionally drawn to one yet. And it wasn't that I didn't _want_ a girlfriend, it was that I had yet to find anyone who I wanted to _be_ my girlfriend.

She had moved from my side then, pulling her hands away from mine and lying back on her bed. She was trying to hide her face from me so I wouldn't see her tears, but I did see them and I felt like shit, but my hands were tied. I had thought she understood the situation and I didn't mean to hurt her but I couldn't be with her either, I didn't want her like that. I couldn't fucking do it.

I sighed again because I hated being an asshole but there was nothing I could do about it now, what's done was fucking done.

But, maybe if…

I looked back at Jessica. She was under her covers now, facing away from me, waiting for me to leave again. I reached out and caressed her side, "But that doesn't mean we can't keep doing this…" I tried, but I knew _this_ wasn't what she wanted. _I_ didn't even want it anymore.

She took a deep, unsteady breath and whispered so softly I almost didn't hear her, "Just leave, Edward. I get it."

I was going to tell her I was sorry. I was going to try and defend myself. But it wouldn't change anything, her mind was made up, nothing I did could convince her I wasn't a complete dick.

So I had stood up, gathered the rest of my clothing from the floor, silently slipped out of her window into the freezing ass cold, got into my car and drove off.

What happened next is history.

--

"Dude, that fuckin' sucks," During my story we had stopped smoking, all of us deciding we were on the threshold of being too high to go to our next class - which was starting in about five minutes - and Jasper was stowing away the rest of his stash in his center console while Alice was adding some last minute touches to her make up, "So you have to ride with Emmett now? That's fucked up."

"Story of my fucking life, dude. But hell no, I'm not riding with Em, I think I'm just gonna walk, I can't handle seeing him and Rose that early in the morning."

"Yeah." They said in perfect unison, they understood me exactly apparently.

"I can pick you up, if you want. You can ride with Em to Rose's house and I'll pick you up there on my way to get Alice."

Ah, my best friend, what would I do without him? Of course I accepted his offer.

A thought that had been plaguing me came to the surface again and I had to get it off my chest, "I bet now Stanley's gonna go blabbing to all her friends about what a douche I am and I'm gonna fucking be blackballed after this shit."

"You don't know that," Alice chimed in, "If she was as upset as she seemed to be, I doubt she'll want to talk about it… but… you might be right, she could go the other way and just be straight up bitter about it." She shrugged then, as if to say "I don't know what else to tell you".

"I mean, it doesn't really matter anyway, there's not a girl in this school that I would want to date seriously. But still, I don't want people thinking I use girls like that. You know?"

Jasper just shook his head, "I wouldn't worry about that, man. Everyone knows Stanley's kind of a hoe, I'm sure you won't get too much shit for it."

_RIIIIIING_

The bell for second period went off and we all groaned aloud. None of us wanted to go to class but we knew we had to, so we grabbed our shit and made our way to our respective classes.

It turns out I wasn't able to sleep any for the next three periods. At all. If it wasn't a test, it was a fucking participation grade. Was it too much to ask for a fucking movie day in one of those fucking classes? Or even a substitute? I don't know how I made it through because I don't really remember much of the last three hours at all. Plus I was still high as a fucking kite and that definitely didn't help matters any.

But tired as I was, I had just enough strength to get through one more task before I completely passed out. I was fucking hungry. So, I was really looking forward to lunch so I could satisfy my munchies. And after lunch? Fucking Biology, where I was sure to finally get some sleep. And I really needed it, I was like the fucking walking dead at this point.

I stared at the clock for the last three minutes of third period, and then when it finally, _mercifully_ rang, I got up, grabbed my binder off my desk and dragged my ass through the halls towards the cafeteria to meet up with Emmett and Rose and Alice and Jasper.

We hadn't always had lunch together. Before, it was just Jazz and I at our table while Em, Rose and Alice sat off to the side by themselves, but once Alice and Jazz got together we realized that, as a group, we all got on pretty well, so we joined forces, so to speak. So, now lunch was one of the only things I looked forward to during the school day and it really was a shame that it all passed in a blur. All I know is that I ate my lunch, then stole a bag of Cheetos from Emmett and then finally dragged my ass to Biology where I knew my slumber awaited me.

It might have been the first time ever that I was glad to be in Bio. I hated this class, that's why I had tested out of it at the end of last year, but after that, the powers that be realized there was nowhere to put me and I needed a science class to fulfill graduation requirements so they stuck me in here, officially ruining any high I was riding at the thought that I had escaped another dreaded year in science class. But, thankfully Mr. Banner understood that I was ahead so he had told me at the beginning of the year that if I stayed quiet and out of his way, he would leave me alone. We had a pretty good deal going on.

I fell into my seat at the last table in the back of the room and rested my head on my arms. I was too tired to even raise my hoodie to shield the light from my eyes, and I was out before I knew what was happening. The last thing I was conscience of was someone taking the seat beside me, a seat that was usually empty…

What the fuck…

But the weight of the exhaustion was intense and I could fight it any longer. I let myself drift away. I let the sleep consume me.

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**A/N**

**ahhhh, there it is. what do you guys think? any thoughts, comments, suggestions?**

**BPOV coming up. more Mike goodness. im not team mike but i feel he gets too much hate sometimes, i gotta throw him a bone.**

**reviews make me write more often. teehee  
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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**Again, I'm so sorry for the wait. But this one is a little longer and (I think) a little better. Hopefully you all still care about this little story of mine. Thanks for the reviews, they really do motivate me, so please keep 'em coming. No matter what you have to say, I wanna hear it.**

**Well, enough of that. Here's chapter 4, E and BPOVs.**

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BPOV

The rest of my day wasn't as easy as my first class, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I pretty much followed Mike around all morning and let him introduce me to people and show me around, he didn't seem to mind and I really was in no place to complain. I learned a lot about Mike in between classes and throughout lunch. He was a junior, like me, and he was one of the smartest kids in our class apparently. And it turns out Mike's letterman jacket wasn't earned by being on a sports team like I had thought but rather for being on the Debate team. Well… at least it wasn't band.

At lunch I met his friends, Ben, Tyler, Angela, and Jessica who seemed to be upset over something. She looked so sad. But I was in no position to ask questions about it so I kept to myself and so did everyone else. We gave her her space.

Everyone else was great though, they were all surprisingly friendly and welcoming. Ben and Tyler were Mike's best friends and they had a great deal in common. They were all into various extra-curricular activities and clubs and kept trying to get me to take interest in them until I gave in and told them I would consider a few. I gave them an A for effort. It was obvious they were the smart kids in our class, the top ranked most likely. But academics aside, they were all adorably dorky. They reminded of the show "_The Big Bang Theory_". They were just _silly, _insulting each other with clever comebacks and arguing over which _Legend of Zelda_ installment was the most "influential".

"_Twilight Princess_," Mike was saying, as he sat back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. "Hands down, you can't argue with that. It's not even close," he shrugged.

"I dunno, dude," Ben countered, "_The_ _Windwaker_ was pretty good. And the cel shading was pretty monumental. It's without a doubt, one of the greatest games on the GameCube."

Tyler sat up straight and leaned forward to rest his arms on the table, "Ben, I'll admit, _Windwaker_ was a great game, it was epic, and the cel shading was a nice touch but _Ocarina_ was the first third dimensional Zelda game… _ever_. It set the bar for the rest of the series, and it set it high. It's yet to be topped."

"Puh-lease," Mike interrupted. He leaned toward the table and looked around me at Tyler, "_Twilight Princess_ is the best reviewed game, not only in the series or the console but, _ever_. And, yes, _Ocarina_ and _Windwaker _were great, no doubt, but in terms of graphics, plot, and all around gameplay… _Twilight Princess_ takes the gold."

It sounded like Mike was winning the argument but I really had no idea what they were talking about. It was obviously very important to them so I just listened and didn't try to make sense of their esoteric exchange. But Mike never made me feel left out, occasionally as he leaned into the table, he would snake his arm around the back of my chair and he made sure to lock eyes with me every so often, as if to assure me he hadn't forgotten I was there. And he even asked for my opinion on a few things but they were way over my head so I just shrugged and smiled when necessary.

Lunch didn't last long though and before I knew it I was walking down the hall next to Mike as we headed toward our advanced Biology class. Mike was holding my books for me. I had told him not to but he had grabbed them from my hands before I could protest so I let him be a gentleman.

I noticed as we made our way down the hall that I was getting less stares from people, I guess my mystique and the hype had worn off. I was grateful.

Mike spent the walk to class telling me about our Biology teacher. His name was Mr. Banner and he was the youngest teacher on the staff even though he had been working here for four years, and since he was such a fan and had played throughout his high school and college careers, he also helped coach the baseball team in the spring. It was obvious by the way he spoke about him that he was Mike's favorite teacher.

By the time we got to the room it was mostly full and if I wasn't prepared for it I could have mistaken Mr. Banner for a student. He was no more than thirty and appeared to be stretching the teacher's dress code to the extreme. He definitely gave off that think-of-me-as-your-friend-not-your-teacher kind of vibe. I liked him immediately.

When we walked in, he was sitting on the edge of his desk, talking to a few male students about the upcoming baseball season. I gave his desk a once over and noticed with some amusement that he was a huge Mariners fan; he had a big Mariners desk calendar, A Mariners clock on the wall to the right of his desk, and he had a mini replica of a Mariners batting helmet that was actually a pencil holder.

When he spotted us walking through the doors, he called me over at once. Mike gave me a nudge and a smile and went to take his seat as I approached Mr. Banner's desk.

"Ms. Swan," he said as he reached out to shake my hand, "I'm Mr. Banner. And I've been told by a couple of teachers that you go by _Bella_, so I'll try to remember that." He smiled at me and stood up and walked around his desk to take his seat and ruffle through some paperwork, "I was informed by Ms. Cope that you've had this course in the past at your old school so I'd like you to take a look at this." He handed me a piece of printed paper.

I looked down at it and recognized it as the course syllabus. I skimmed over it, and noticed that I had indeed been through all of this material last semester. I told him so.

"That's what I thought." He leaned back in his chair and ran his hands through his hair. "Go ahead and take a seat." He gestured to the seat next to his desk and I sat as he continued, "Listen, Bella, I had a peak at your transcript and I can tell you that no matter what kind of advanced courses this school offers you, it will be inferior. And since you've already had this course - and all the other science courses we have available, for that matter - I'm going to offer you a deal. It's the same deal I gave Cullen." He gestured with his thumb over his shoulder to the boy sitting by himself at the back table with his head resting on his arms. "He tested out of this class in the summer but he got stuck with me anyway, so I offered him this deal; you come to class every day, like every other student - that's your participation grade - then when I need some help grading papers or if I need copies made but don't have the time to do it, you help me out and that's your test grade. Think of this as more of a teacher's assistant period. But on the days I don't require any help, you are free to do as you please just so long as you remain quiet and don't disrupt my class. The only difference is that since you haven't taken the AP exam yet, you would have to attend the study sessions after school when the time comes." He leaned back in his chair again and spread his hands out in front of him, smiling. "Deal?"

"What's the catch?" I asked tentatively, it seemed way too good to be true.

He chuckled softly. "There's no catch. I'm just an over grown kid, Bella. I was young once, not too long ago and I had a lot of great teachers growing up and I promised myself that if I ever became a teacher I would pay it forward. This is my attempt. Plus, I can tell by your transcript that you're smart and since you've already been through this material and you obviously know it, I'm not gonna make you do it again. That's just cruel."

I wasn't going to refuse his offer twice, I was cautious, not an idiot. "Alright, deal."

He barked a laugh, "Fantastic! Alright well, I don't have anything for you to do today so just go ahead and take the last seat in the back by Cullen – don't worry, he usually sleeps the whole period, he shouldn't bother you any. And since this is such a good deal, don't tell anyone who doesn't need to know. Ok?"

I agreed and went to take me seat.

When I made it to the lab table I shared with Cullen, Mike looked back at me with a slight worried expression on his face and looked from me, to Cullen, and back again before he turned his attention to Mr. Banner who was now standing in front of the whiteboard writing out today's lesson. I was confused by Mike's expression so I looked over at my sleeping neighbor to see what the concern was about.

The first thing I saw was his hair. It was a strange, yet intriguing shade of bronze. It was mostly brown but had a distinct red tint as well. It was very unique, I can't recall ever seeing that shade before. But it wasn't just the color that was captivating, it was the _texture. _His hair looked thick and silky, but it was unkempt, an organized mess. I wanted to run my hands through it immediately and just relish the feeling of it between my fingers.

Whoa! What the hell? Why am I fantasizing about this guys' hair?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and took a deep breath to compose myself.

That's when I smelled it.

The second most noticeable thing about Cullen was that he _reeked_ of marijuana. It must have been his hoodie that was carrying the smell, trapped inside its cotton creases. He smelled so strongly of it that I felt like I could get a contact high off of the stench that emanated from his clothes. I was surprised he hadn't been rounded up by the administration yet for the smell alone. To me though, it wasn't off putting. I myself had enjoyed a little pot every so often back home and I was a little surprised these small town kids were into it too.

I tried to get a better look at his face but he had his arms crossed on the table in front of him, his forehead resting on his forearms. Unable to see his face, I checked out the rest of his body, taking in his wardrobe. His zip up hoodie was black and he had a white t-shirt underneath it with dark jeans and a pair of black Vans with white accents. There was a black baseball cap with a Chicago White Sox logo on the front sitting on the desk in front of him and I wondered if he wore it all the time. Why would he want to cover up that beautiful hair?

I shook my head again, a little irritated with myself being so easily distracted and brought my backpack off the floor and sat it in front of me on the desk. I wanted to listen to some music to make the time pass so I pulled out my iPod and put my earphones in. The rest of the class went by rather quickly once I got into the music and before I knew it the bell was ringing to dismiss the period.

As I expected, Mike walked back to my desk and reached for my books again, ready to escort me to my next class. He stood by my desk as I gathered the rest of my things and stowed my iPod in my bag.

"So you have, what, like two free periods so far?" He teased as he tucked our books under his arm.

I laughed, not wanting to flaunt it but I was pretty happy with my uncharacteristically good luck today. "You're not jealous, are you Mike?"

He gave me a cute little pout as he responded, "Nah, I just wish I was lucky enough to sit next to you in one of them." His eyes flashed to my still sleeping neighbor but he didn't say anything else.

"Um, shouldn't we wake him up?" I probed as I looked up at Mike. "I don't think he heard the bell."

Mike made a face and scoffed, "I think he'll be alright. Come on, you ready for English?"

Mike took a step towards the door and waited for me to follow but I suddenly felt sorry for this guy, I mean, I know _I_ would appreciate it if someone woke me up and kept me from being late and/or getting in trouble. Plus, Karma's a bitch. I didn't want to risk it.

I reached out and shook Cullen's shoulder. He stirred slightly but just curled further into the crook of his elbow. Mike snickered.

So he was a heavy sleeper, huh? I rolled my eyes and shook him again, this time harder and he finally lifted his head from his arms and looked up at me.

And I was met with the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen. Well… they would have been if they weren't bloodshot and puffy as hell. But, even through the haze, his eyes were by far the most beautiful thing about him, and it was hard to tell in which order everything else went. His hair was gorgeous, of course, and his jaw line was strong and defined, covered in light stubble. Then my eyes landed on his lips which were full and pouty, his bottom lip being just slightly plumper than his top and I was just completely sidetracked.

Yeah… he was… hot…

Uh, wait. He's looking at me all funny; I was in the middle of something, wasn't I?

Oh, right. "The bell rang." I explained simply.

Understanding lit his clouded eyes, "Oh, shit." He pushed himself off the tabletop and rubbed his face with his hands. He yawned as his hands made their way to his beautifully messy hair next and he ran his fingers through it a couple of times before covering it up with his cap. It was such a shame. Then, he stood up and all of the sudden he was towering over me. He was only a couple of inches taller than Mike but he was bigger. He wasn't insanely muscled but he was obviously athletic.

"'Sup, Newton?" Cullen asked flatly as he pulled out a tiny bottle of Visine and leaned his head back to apply a couple of drops to each eye.

Mike nodded once in acknowledgement, "Cullen." I guessed they didn't like each other very much.

Cullen just smirked at him before turning his piercing eyes to me, "You're the chief's daughter." It wasn't a question, he said it as more of a statement, a fact.

"Uh, yeah. I'm Bella." Cullen merely nodded and I felt Mike nudge my arm slightly.

"We'd better get going, Bella, we might be late."

Oh, right... school.

"Yeah," I said as I finally looked away from Cullen and back to Mike, I hadn't even realized I'd been staring at him. "Sorry." I smiled up at Mike, "Let's go."

Cullen rolled his eyes and muttered a simple, "See you tomorrow, Bella," as he walked passed us towards the door.

--

English went by without incident but my last class of the day was gym and needless to say, I was dreading it. It was the end of the day and I don't know how much energy they _expected_ me to expel but I didn't have much left.

After introducing myself to the coach and getting a locker and seat assigned to me I was herded along with the rest of the students to walk around the gym for the remainder of the period.

Great. I didn't know anyone in this class and I was _not_ looking forward to walking alone for the next thirty minutes. So much for my good luck.

But just as I was about to settle into a lonely contentment, I felt someone lingering at my side. I looked over and I suddenly found myself in the presence of a pixie. Good God, she was _tiny. _But although she was small, I could tell by the big, goofy grin on her face that she had a personality that completely compensated for her size.

"Hi, I'm Alice. You're Bella right?"

"Uh… yeah," I was still a little shocked that everyone seemed to know my name, it was going to take some getting used to.

She chuckled at my hesitance, "You're the hot topic today," she explained.

I nodded. I knew _that,_ but all day I had been out of the loop, not knowing what people were saying about me, only hearing whispers and giggles. And I had tried to ignore it, to not let it bother me, but Alice suddenly presented me with the opportunity know what was actually being said and, call me a little masochistic, but I couldn't resist, "What have people been saying?"

"Oh, nothing bad. They're just intrigued by you."

I laughed but it sounded more like a scoff, "Why, though? There's absolutely nothing _intriguing_ about me. If they only knew how boring my life is."

"I mean I get it, you know; you're new, a city girl, super smart from what I hear. Haven't you noticed you got all the guys' attention?" She looked at me like I really should have been aware of that fact.

"Not really, no." I laugh/scoffed again and shook my head. I felt the heat on my cheek and ears as I blushed. What alternate universe have I stumbled into? When did I become anyone's center of attention? It really didn't make sense to me, nothing about me had changed, I was the same as I had always been. And I had never been the center of attention, I preferred the background.

Alice smirked at me, "Well, Mike Newton certainly seemed quite smitten with you. What's going on there?"

Ah, chick is bold; to the point. I like her already.

I quirked my eyebrow at her, "You're a little nosy, aren't you, Alice?"

"That's a given," she smiled at me. "Now, spill."

Normally, I would never open up to someone I just met, but there was something about Alice that made me feel it was alright this time. I had been placated all day long by everyone and Alice was the first person that was straight up with me. I felt like I could trust her. Hopefully I wouldn't regret my decision, "Mike was the first person I met here. We kind of ran into each other in the office this morning and he offered to show me around."

Alice looked at me, obviously annoyed with my evasive answer. "Come on, Bella. Details!"

She was smiling ear to ear and I couldn't help but smile back at her. "What do you want to know, Alice?"

Her smile went smug as she finally got me where she wanted me, completely at her disposal. Girl was good. "So you like him, then?"

And there it was, the million dollar question. But what was my answer? I didn't know, honestly. Mike was nice, sure, and I did find him attractive but it had only been one day and there were too many things to consider to say yes. Regardless, I wasn't looking for a boyfriend. I had never been much of a dater, and it was something that, I suppose, I needed to talk to Charlie about, I didn't know if he would even "let" me date anyone.

So I told her the truth, "I don't know. It's only been a day."

She nodded, satisfied with my answer.

And then I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled my phone out enough to check the display to see who had texted me.

It was from Charlie. What did he want? I didn't even know he was the texting type.

I looked at Alice "My dad just texted me."

Alice understood that I needed to check it so she stepped closer to me and blocked me from the coaches' view. "Thanks."

"No problem." Alice kept a look out as I opened Charlie's message.

_**I got called into work early. Do you think you can get a ride home? **_

I slapped the phone shut. Was he fucking serious? He expected me to find my own way home on my first day at a new school when I knew no one?

"You ok, Bella?" Alice asked, concerned.

"Yeah. I just have to walk home." There was no way I was going to asking anyone to drive me home. It wasn't even a matter of pride, I just didn't want to inconvenience anyone and I really didn't want any more pity today.

"Why? What happened?"

I scoffed again, thoroughly irritated with my father, "The Chief loves his job."

The look on her face said it all, she understood me perfectly, "That's fucked up, man." She thought for a moment before her face lit up in excitement. "We could give you a ride if you want."

"No, that's ok, Alice. I don't want to put you out or anything. It's fine, really. I don't mind walking, it's not that far."

"Bella, it's freezing out and I know where you live, it _is_ a bit of a walk. It's on our way anyway so it's not an inconvenience. And we have plenty of room, so don't try to pull that card either."

Damn. She had me. But, "Who's 'we'?"

She rolled her eyes, "'We' is myself, my boyfriend Jasper and his best friend Edward. They're good guys, I promise."

I didn't know Alice, her boyfriend or his friend but I had a really good feeling about her, I honestly didn't believe she would lie or mislead me, and she really did leave me with no reason to say no again and she knew it too. I looked at her and sighed. Reveling in her victory, she all but squealed in excitement. "Now text your dad and tell him you found a ride."

I pulled out my phone and texted Charlie back.

_**It's fine, I found a ride. See you when you get home… what time might that be?**_

To which his response was:

_**Not sure. Probably late. Sorry. Who's giving you a ride?**_

"Oh," Alice said after I showed her the text, "Don't mention Edward. He'll freak out."

"Freak out? Why?"

"Let's just say that Edward and your dad have a history. He's a bit of a trouble maker."

I laughed internally at the thought of how mad Charlie would be if he knew who I was getting a ride home with. "Fair enough." So I left "Edward: The Trouble Maker" out of my response.

EPOV

So it turns out that I passed the fuck out in Biology and was so deep in sleep that I didn't even hear the bell ring. It was kind of embarrassing to be quite honest. But I got the sleep I had needed and I had finally come down from my high so it wasn't all bad that Bella Swan woke me up.

I knew who she was the moment I saw her, even though I was kind of out of it. She looked like the chief - not that she was ugly, no, no, no, quite the contrary; she was pretty attractive. But she had some of his features; brown hair, high cheek bones, same nose, same eyes; I believe they call it a "spitting image". And I think I freaked her out that I knew who she was, it was pretty funny.

But then Newton had to interrupt. As if I needed another reason to hate him, he had acted like he had some fucking claim on her already. I smirked. If I wanted to play that game I would, but as it were, she was the chief's daughter and I definitely did not want any of that drama; I wanted my car back too badly to risk even the thought of it.

"What the fuck are you smirkin' about now?" Oh, Jazz; always breaking my concentration.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about how Newton went all caveman on the new girl and was walking around like he had some fucking claim on her already," I told him as we made our way out of our last class towards the parking lot.

He just laughed as he lit a cigarette and then handed one to me. "Now that's funny. Poor Newton, wait till someone tell her that he's a totally spaz. But speaking of the new girl; Alice texted me in class and told me we have to give her a ride home."

"Whoa! Wait. What?" I stepped in front of him and held up a hand, both of us standing in the middle of the lot.

Jazz rolled his eyes and broke it down for me, "It seems the chief went into work early today and can't pick up her up. And Alice and Bella have Gym together, so they got to talking and Alice took a likin' to her and you know how Alice is, she wasn't gonna leave that girl hangin' so she asked me and I said it was cool."

"Dude, you're giving me ride home today too, right?" He nodded. "And you know that motherfucker hates me. If he sees me in the same car as his daughter, he's gonna go ape shit." I'm not gonna lie, I was freaking out a bit. I really didn't need to be in anymore trouble.

"Calm down, man, it's cool. Her dad won't even be there. We'll drop her off then go back to my place and chill for a bit and I'll take your bitch ass back home before mommy gets there. Cool?"

I still wasn't completely comfortable with this but what choice did I have?

We kept walking and finally met up with the girls at the truck. They were huddled together, trying to shield themselves from the cold but it didn't look like it was working, they were both shivering like crazy.

"God, Jazz," Alice snapped, "Could you walk any fucking slower? We've been out here freezing for like ten minutes."

It was moments like this that I knew definitively that my friend was happy - or pussy whipped, whichever – because instead of being angry with Alice for yelling at him or being irritated with her, he just smiled and ran up to her and hugged her, wrapping her up in his jacket with him. He peppered her face and neck with kisses and she practically squealed in delight, her anger defused. "Better?" He murmured against her neck.

I looked away, I knew where they were going and I really didn't want to be exposed to another overly indulgent PDA. I turned to my right and saw that Bella was looking at me funny, like she was confused or some shit. So I asked her, "What?"

Wait, maybe I should have said "hi" or something first. Fuck.

But, she just blushed and dropped her head, embarrassed that I'd caught her staring at me.

Again.

Yeah, I noticed that shit in class earlier too. I smirked again.

"N-Nothing," she said to her shoes. "I just… I thought your name was Cullen."

Yeah, it made sense. I hadn't properly introduced myself, and no one really ever called me by my first name at school. I took a pull from my cigarette which only had a few drags left and tried to blow the smoke away from her, I didn't know if she was cool with cigarettes.

"Cullen's my last name, no one really calls me Edward expect my family and my friends."

"Oh." We were both leaning against the truck now, trying not to watch as Alice and Jazz did whatever the hell they were doing. In my peripheral vision, I saw her look up at me so I looked down at her too.

"So, I guess I should call you Cullen then?"

I smiled at her, "You can call me whatever you like."

She quirked an eyebrow at me, her embarrassment gone, "You really don't have a preference?"

I thought about it. I kind of didn't want her to call me Cullen, it seemed too impersonal and I really wouldn't mind if she called me by my first name… plus I did kind of want to hear what it sounded like coming from her. Fuck it. "Call me Edward, then."

She gave me a smug little smile and locked eyes with me. "Alright… Edward."

I immediately regretted my decision. The way she said my name, they way it had rolled off her tongue was exquisite. I wanted to hear her say it through a moan or a cry of pleasure. I imagined how it would sound as she whispered it in my ear while I worked my mouth and tongue on the soft skin of her neck. And that thought led to others of her and I tangled in bed sheets, exploring each other's bodies, soft moans and whimpers escaping us both.

It took an effort, but I tore myself away from her deep, brown eyes. I had to, otherwise I would end up pinning her against this damned truck and ravishing her right here and now. And I couldn't have that. As far as I was concerned, she's off limits. And as much as I wanted to, I couldn't get involved with this girl in any way, shape, or form. It would be too much drama, because there was no way, if it even went anywhere, that the chief would allow me to date his daughter. No way. So right then and there, I swore to myself that I wouldn't even think about Bella that way. But I am not a man of self control, I don't have the discipline and if she and Alice were friends, that meant I would be seeing a lot of her. So quite simply, I was fucked.

I needed a distraction. I savored the last drag from my cigarette and flicked it in a puddle by our feet. "So how is it living with the chief?"

She cringed. "Not great so far although it's only been one day - one night, actually. I'm still trying to give him the benefit of the doubt."

Was it completely wrong that I found her "daddy issues" attractive? That's gotta be some weird psycho shit, right?

"So, you don't get along?"

She shrugged, "Kinda. I mean, we're not close… we're pretty much just acquaintances, sad as it sounds."

I yawned. God damn, I was still sleepy.

"What, am I boring you?" she teased, "Didn't you get enough sleep in Biology?"

I laughed. I liked a girl who could make me laugh so I teased her right back. "Nope, some rude ass girl woke me up right in the middle of my nap." A little harmless flirting never hurt anyone.

She laughed too. Turns out she can take it as well as she can dish it out. But even her laugh had me thinking impure, impossible thoughts again. Damn this girl, she was going to ruin me.

Before I could think any more nasty thoughts about Bella, Jasper and Alice saved the day.

As they walked back to the truck, Jazz eyed me suspiciously. He knew what I was thinking, I could tell by the look on his face. But I didn't give a shit. I wasn't going to do anything about it. A guy could entertain his thoughts, couldn't he?

Alice jumped in before Bella could notice our silent exchange. "Bella, this is Jasper," she gestured between them, "Jasper this is Bella."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella," he said as he took one of her hands and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. A southern gentleman my ass. He did it to torture me. What I wouldn't give to be able to kiss this girl. And how well he knew it.

Bella just giggled at him and blushed a shade of red I had never seen anyone blush before. Another trait of hers that I was partial to.

God damn it, I needed another distraction.

Thank God for Alice, she jumped right in to save me, "So, Bella, since your dad won't be home till late, why don't you come hang out with us for a little bit? Jazz's parents aren't home so we were gonna go hang out there. We'd give you a ride home when you're ready."

Shit. I didn't know if I wanted her to say yes or not. For one, I didn't know if I could behave myself while I was around her and secondly, if she got in trouble and I was part of the picture I would be in even deeper shit than I already was. God I hated being a pussy but, shit, I was tired of having restrictions and limitations.

I looked down at her the same time she looked up at me. Did she want me to say something? Should I?

I just shrugged.

Smooth. Yeah, I know.

Bella looked back at Alice, "Um…" God, she was really thinking about it, her brow was furrowed with contemplation. Then it cleared as she made up her mind. "Yeah, I guess I can go over for a little bit."

"Yay," Alice chirped, "We can have more girl talk while the guys play the Xbox."

Wait, girl talk already? I wasn't really surprised, it was just like Alice to move in on this girl so soon. Maybe if I played my cards right I could get some information about Bella later. I chuckled as we piled into the truck, Bella joining me in the back seat.

"What's so funny?" Bella asked me as I continued to smile.

"Nothing." I shook my head, uncertain about the rest of the night but excited nonetheless.

* * *

**A/N**

**And that's all she wrote. At least for this chapter :)**

**CharliePOV coming up. Really looking forward to it.**

**Reviews are better than being in the backseat with Edward. Ok, now we all know I'm full of shit!!! But please. Review.**

**Comments, questions, concerns, suggestions, I'm all for it.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**

**I know I said i was going to do better about updates... but when it rains, it fucking pours for me so I've been kinda busy. Plus it was New Moon week and I was busy planning that. Add all that with the weed and the alcohol and that makes me... lazy! lmao. I apologize and the story is starting to get where i want to go so the words should come easier so please just bear with me a while longer.  
**

**This chap is a bit longer than the others so hopefully it kinda make up for my fail. **

**Special thanks to Dra, the roomie, for the proof read and the constant nagging to sit my ass down and write(he literally took the tv away from me and disconnected the wireless). Needless to say that without him I would just disappoint you all.**

**I dont own, nor did i create Twilight, but i love it anyway!  
**

* * *

CPOV

_Thud_

That was the sound of my head hitting the steering wheel.

I was parked in my driveway, just sitting in my cruiser as I tried to figure what path my life took that I was in the situation I was in now. I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. What was I thinking? I'm not ready for this. I don't even know where to start with her. Would she even want anything to do with me, especially after the shit I pulled today? I hadn't wanted to work the extra shift, I knew I should have given it to another officer but, fuck, old habits die hard. And I felt bad about it, I really did. I was officially the worst father in the world and she deserved so much more than I had to offer her. Maybe she would have been better off staying with Renee and her new husband Phil. From what Renee said, he did more for my daughter than I ever could. I swear that woman still knew how to cut me.

Reluctantly, I dragged myself out of my car, grabbing the bag of take out from the passenger seat and walked up the path to the porch, stopping at the front door to take a deep breath. I looked up at Bella's bedroom window, the light was on but the rest of the house was dark. It was barely eight o' clock. I frowned. I didn't want her to feel confined to her room, this was her home now and she could occupy any room she wanted. Unless she was a hermit like me and was perfectly fine with being alone. But, hopefully she hadn't inherited my anti-sociality.

I sighed. I was fucking restless. And confused. And lost. What was I supposed to do? Should I go up there and talk to her, ask her about her day? Would she even want to talk to me? Fuck, I just didn't know. I suck at this. But I knew I couldn't just plop on the couch with a six pack and watch Sports Center till I passed out – which was what I would usually do. I had to show her that I wanted her to be here, that I was actually happy that I got to see her every day. But I'm just not good with that shit. I don't know how to convey what I'm feeling; it's why Renee left me in the first place. I was, according to her, "emotionally impotent" but if I had known what I was losing when I let Renee walk out with my baby, I would have stopped her. I didn't know it would be so hard to maintain a bond with my child yet so easy not to. What I wouldn't give to be able to go back and correct all the wrongs I've done. But I couldn't go back. I had to try to repair it as it was. And I was off to a fucking great start.

I sighed again as I finally entered my house. I kicked off my boots as I flicked on the light and hung my jacket on the rack by the door. I dropped the take out on the table and trudged up the stairs to at least say hi to Bella and apologize for not being able to pick her up from school.

Her door was half way open so I poked my head in. She was sitting cross legged in the middle of her bed with her earphones in place and a textbook in her lap.

Studying. Good girl.

She didn't notice me at first so I took a couple of steps and stood in just inside her doorway. Her head shot up as she became aware of my presence and she reached up to tug the white strings dangling from her ears until the buds popped out.

"Hey." She said.

"Hey," I noticed she had a bunch of papers, a few binders and a couple of textbooks scattered around her bed. Fuck that looked like a lot of homework, "Are you busy?"

She followed my eyes to the content on her bed and shrugged, "Not really. Just organizing."

"Oh," I said nervously, "So how was school?"

"It was alright." She turned her attention back to her book and I could tell that she didn't want to talk to me.

"Are you upset with me about earlier?"

She didn't look up from her book, "I was."

"But not anymore?"

She still didn't look up, "No."

Oh this was like pulling teeth! Maybe I should just leave her alone. "Ok. Well, uh, I brought some food home if you're hungry. Chinese."

"I already ate, but thanks anyway." She put her earphones back in and turned the volume up so loud I could hear it from where I stood by the door.

What the fuck? This was fucking brutal. Was she really that mad at me? There were so many things I wanted to ask her, to talk to her about. I wanted to know how her day had gone, if she had made friends, if she liked her teachers and classes, but it was obvious she didn't want me to know those things. At least not right now, and I wasn't very hopeful for the future, especially if she was anything like me, which I knew she was. I could tell by the way she was acting now that she was just as stubborn and bull-headed as I was and maybe even a little spiteful. I was getting a taste of my own medicine and what a bitter medicine it was.

Without another word, I backed out of her room and shut the door. I stood there for a second, replaying the last few minutes of my life but eventually I made my way back down stairs and ate my take out alone in front of the TV, the same as any other night. The only difference was that there was a fucking palpable tension in the house, the air was thick with things left unsaid. Yeah, I ended up grabbing that six pack after all. Boo fuckety hoo.

At about ten o'clock I was on my fifth beer and I had just taken two shot of Jack Daniels (for a little boost) and I was feeling a little drunk. I heard Bella moving around in her room, getting ready for bed probably and I was surprised when I heard her coming down the stairs, I was sure I wouldn't see her until the morning. I looked over my shoulder and she was standing at the bottom of the stairs, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail, wearing a pair of shorts – if you could call them that, they looked more like underwear to me - and a t-shirt. I thought about telling her something about those shorts/underwear but I was in enough trouble with her, I really didn't want to get into it over her PJ's. Plus I didn't want her to think I was a fucking tyrant. But, if I ever saw her trying to leave the house in anything remotely similar to that I was putting my foot down and I don't care how much of a fight she puts up.

"Going to bed?" I slurred a little bit. Oops.

"Yeah, I just came down to tell you that I got a ride home tomorrow so you don't have to worry about it."

"Oh?" It didn't escape me that she hadn't asked my permission, she pretty much just told me how it was going to be. Very ballsy. "With who?"

"Alice."

"Alice Brandon?" She nodded. I knew the Brandon's. Good people. I wasn't too familiar with their daughter though, but I suppose that was a good thing considering I only knew the bad kids in town.

While I was happy for her and quite frankly a little proud of her too for making friends so quickly, I wasn't sure if I should allow it. I couldn't let her think she could walk all over me. But, from what Renee told me about Bella, she was rather shy and didn't have many friends in Phoenix and I didn't want to spoil this for her. And although I was a little spiteful myself, this little girl has had me wrapped around her finger since the day she was born, so I was going to say yes regardless and I firmly believe she knew it too.

"Alright," I told her, "That's fine."

"Ok. 'Night, Charlie." She turned and hurried back up the stairs and back into her room.

I sat there for a while as the TV droned on and I tried to decide what kind of father I should be. As of right now, I had no game plan, I was just winging it. And that with that shit she had just pulled, she really wasn't leaving me with many options. I wasn't a bad guy, regardless of how I acted, I really did love my daughter, when she was born it was her mere existence in this world that had changed me from the scared little boy I had been into the man I had to become. Up until the time Renee had walked out, Bella had been quite the Daddy's Girl. She was always at my side or in my arms. I remember I would come home from work and snatch her out of her playpen and sometimes right out of Renee's arms and sit her on my lap as I watched TV. The best part about it had been her smile, every time she saw me that fucking smile would make my heart flutter and she was always so happy in my embrace, which in turn made me happy. It had made all the shit with Renee worth it. Holding my baby girl was how I would unwind, how I would relax. But now our relationship was at best, feeble. And I didn't know how the fuck I let that happen.

With things being so different now, I needed a different approach and being a cop meant that I had all kinds of tools at my disposal to spy on my daughter, to track her and her friends and make sure she was where she was supposed to be and doing what she was supposed to be doing. I _could_ do that but I really didn't want to be _that_ guy, it would only make things that much worse. I wanted to be a good dad and trust Bella and there was no good reason I shouldn't. She was angry with me, yes, but that didn't mean she was up to no good, that she had bad intentions. From what Renee had said, Bella was responsible and mature far beyond her years and it made sense, Bella had had to raise Renee while she tried raised herself. Also, I didn't want to be the bad guy. Renee trusted her completely so if I didn't, Bella would automatically pull away from me and I would become the shoddier parent by default. But I have spent my whole career dealing with rouge teenagers, I have witnessed kids doing things their parents would be ashamed of and not all of them were bad kids, some of them were straight A students, they were just teens being teens. And that was a fucking terrifying thought; that my Bella could be like that. Until now I had never even considered Bella being in any kind of trouble because I had never had to. I had been getting off easy these last seventeen years and I had taken for granted the amount of ignorant bliss I was dealt. For all I knew Bella was just like any other kid out there, just waiting for the opportunity to let loose and get into trouble and I fucking dreaded the thought that someday I might catch my own daughter in the act. But Bella was in my care now and it was my responsibility to make sure she stayed out of trouble and I wasn't going to give her the absolute freedom she no doubt sought. I don't know what she thought this was but I knew better, and it was entirely possible that Renee trusted Bella so fully that she was blinded by it. I wasn't going to be the fool here and whether Renee trusted her or not didn't really matter, what mattered was _my_ trust in her. And when it was all said and done, I did trust her. Maybe not entirely, maybe it was wishful thinking on my part that some of that relationship we use to have could be salvaged, maybe it was me being the push over I had always been when it came to Bella, but I couldn't punish her for the things I didn't know. And I didn't know jack shit at the moment, so until she gave me a reason not to trust her, I would.

BPOV

I wasn't really mad at Charlie. I was just annoyed. And confused. And if that came off as being angry then he has my apologies but neither of us were any good with conveying emotions, my mother had told me as much many, many times before. It was one of her only gripes about me, that I was so much like my father.

I was annoyed because I still felt like an afterthought to him. When I had asked him if I could move in, one of the things Charlie had promised was that I would be a priority. He said he would works less and be home more often so we could have "_quality time_" together.

Yeah…

I knew he was full of it. And there went the benefit of the doubt, right out the proverbial window. I knew nothing would change just because I was here. My father was just too set in his ways, like me. That's not to say things wouldn't get better eventually but until Charlie realized he needed to change, nothing I said or did would matter, it was something he had to see for himself otherwise nothing would change.

I would continue to do my part though. I wasn't going to go crazy and start acting up because that just wasn't me. I don't thrive on drama and I wasn't after his attention so I didn't feel the need to act out to get it. I had a plan when I decided to move here, I would go to school, get the best grades I could and come home and be a good kid then go off to college and start living my life. Like I said, I wasn't expecting to be happy here, I had come to terms with the concept that I was just going to have to grin and bear it and just _survive_ until college but after just my first day things were not going as I planned. At all.

When I agreed to hang out with Alice, Jasper and Edward after school I really didn't expect them to take such a liking to me. I figured my innately shy nature would be a hindrance when it came to making new friends but it felt so natural being with them that it wasn't an issue at all. But hanging out with them wasn't without its complications.

--

After jumping in the backseat of the truck with Edward we headed to Jasper's house. I thought we were going to go inside and hang out in there for a while but I was wrong. When we pulled into the driveway, the three of them hopped out and headed straight for the garage which was a separate dwelling from the actual house itself.

I hesitated in my confusion and Edward came to my side and slung his big arm around my shoulders pulling me in close and squeezing me slightly. I felt my face warm as the blush that I hated so much for always giving me away crept up again. I looked up at him as he smiled down at me, his eyes hidden in the shade of his cap. "Nervous?"

"A little?" I don't really know why that came out as a question.

Alice was watching our exchange and said, "Relax, Bella. We don't bite."

"Speak for yourself." Edward said jokingly. He laughed and removed his arm from around my shoulders and I couldn't believe it. It didn't happen to me often but I knew enough to know when I was being flirted with and Edward was definitely flirting and had been since after school ended. But maybe that was just how he was, maybe he was just one of the overly flirtatious guys so I tried not to read too much into it. We walked up to the side door of the garage and stood aside to let Jasper unlock it. He pushed the door open and stood back to let Alice and I enter first.

We stepped inside and I took one look around and was completely amazed. The garage was no longer a garage, it might have been long ago but just glancing around it was obvious it had been Jasper's pad for a while. There were all kinds of street signs and posters decorating the three walls and the now out of use automatic door, some depicting movies, others bands and some were college humor themed. A big flat screen TV covered a significant portion of the back wall and in front of it sat a very big and very comfy looking three seat sofa. An assortment of various types of chairs - some wooden, some foldable and a couple of stools were scattered about the room. In front of the couch was a huge coffee table covered in clutter. Soda cans, beer bottles, fast food bags and candy wrappers all over its surface. It looked like Jasper entertained a lot of people rather often.

"Sorry for the mess, I didn't know we were having company so I didn't have the time to straighten up." Jasper clarified.

"Don't listen to his bullshit," Edward said as he plopped in a chair and propped his feet up on the coffee table, nudging some of the trash to the side with his shoe to make room, "He never cleans this bitch. It's always a fucking mess."

Alice rolled her eyes and looked at me. "Yeah, and guess who ends up cleaning 'cause these assholes are so goddamn lazy?"

Jasper came over and wrapped his arm around Alice's waist, "Oh, come on, baby. Ya know you like doing it." He kissed her cheek. "And I appreciate it, by the way."

Alice rolled her eyes again and pushed him away from her and grabbed the trash can sitting by the door. She walked over to the coffee table, put the can down and placed her hands on her hips, shaking her head as she looked down at all the mess. "Fuck it." She said before sweeping her arm across the table, pushing everything into the trash can. If there was something there that wasn't trash, it was now.

While Alice replaced the trash can Jasper went and sat on the sofa and grabbed the remote to turn the TV on. "Have a seat, Bella. Make yourself comfortable." He said as he tuned into SportsCenter. Alice came and sat in the middle of the couch and pulled me down next to her so she was sandwiched between Jasper and me. As soon as we were situated Jasper reached over and pulled a drawer open on the coffee table that I didn't even know was there. He started to pull something out but Edward swatted him on arm and gave him a look, raising his eyebrows and nodding slightly in my direction. Jasper seemed to understand right away and closed the drawer before sitting back in his seat, a small frown on his face. I looked over at Edward and he looked a little upset too but I didn't understand why their moods had shifted so suddenly.

"Oh, for the love of God." Alice mumbled as she turned to face me. "Bella, do you smoke?"

"Smoke what?" I asked. I felt like she wasn't talking about cigarettes. Because what else could they want to do but were refraining from because I was here? I had already seen the beer bottles so I knew they drank and I had seen Edward and Jasper smoking cigarettes so it couldn't be either of those things. Then I remembered that one of the first things I noticed about Edward was that he smelled so strongly of marijuana. Were they trying to smoke weed but were afraid that I minded or that I would snitch because my dad was a cop?

"Weed." She said, shrugging.

I looked at the three of them and they were all looking at me expectantly, obviously curious about my answer. I felt a little on the spot but I wasn't going to lie to them, "I have before but it's been a while."

"Really?" Edward said. He sounded genuinely shocked but that wasn't surprising, I figured most people assumed I was innocent and pure or whatever but they didn't realize that I was raised by my mother - not my father and my mother wasn't one for rules and discipline. I had never been in trouble but that was mostly because I never got caught. But I didn't act up very often anyway, I understood that my mom trusted me and I tried very hard not to abuse it.

"Yeah. I mean, I never smoked a lot but I've done it a couple of times."

"Did you get high?" Jasper asked.

"Uh, I think so…"

Edward laughed, "Then you haven't."

I didn't understand. I was pretty sure I had felt something a couple of times and I was pretty sure I had been high at least once but maybe I was wrong.

"If you have to think about it then you haven't been high." Alice explained.

"Oh." I chuckled, "I guess I haven't then."

Jasper looked around Alice to meet eyes with me. "Do you mind if we smoke then?"

I shrugged, "I don't mind. It's your house."

Jasper chuckled as he reached in the drawer, "Ok then, Bella, I have one last question for you." He paused and I raised my eyebrows at him questioningly. He smiled and placed his elbow on his knee and held up a pretty perfectly rolled blunt. "Do you wanna hit this with us?"

I smiled as I thought about it. I was a little apprehensive because I had never been high apparently and I didn't know how I would react to it and I didn't want to look like an idiot and freak out in front of them. But at the same time I did kind of want to. I don't know why but my eyes sought out Edward and he was looking at me, waiting for my answer. He looked almost excited and I didn't want to disappoint him so I gave in. "Sure."

"Ah, that's my girl!" Jasper beamed.

Alice and I looked at each other and burst into laughter at his enthusiasm. She told me later that one of Jasper's greatest thrills in life was smoking with new people; he loved bonding with people over weed. He said it was an instant friend maker. And he was right, once we started smoking the conversation came easy and we actually got on really well. We talked for a while about nothing in particular and Jasper and Alice asked me questions about my life in Phoenix and my general interests as we passed the blunt around but Edward remained mostly silent, looking deep in thought, his gaze fixated on the TV which was now tuned to MTV.

Time passed by kinda slow and at about 5 o'clock we were all soaring (I completely understood what they were talking about now; I was definitely and undeniably high) and the conversation had died down so we were in the middle of an episode of _True Life: I Have __Tourette's ____when_ Jasper leaned over towards Alice and whispered something in her ear. Whatever he said put a huge smile on that girls face and she even blushed a little. She looked over at me and said, "We'll be back, Bella. Jasper and I are just gonna go talk inside for a few minutes." They left quickly after that, not even saying anything to Edward, but I assumed he knew as well as I did where they were going. They were kind of obvious.

Once they were out the door Edward scoffed a laugh and surprised the hell out of me by coming to sit next me on the couch. I wasn't complaining, it was a pleasant surprise but even with the effects of the weed strongly influencing me, I became nervous by his close proximity. There was no reason that I could see for him to have switched seats. And not just to the couch, he came and sat in the middle seat by me when he could have just taken Jasper's seat on the other side. I looked at him with my eyebrows raised, questioning.

He continued to face the TV but he looked at me in his peripheral vision and smiled. "What?"

He was being coy. I smiled back at him, "Nothing."

His smile never really faded as we continued to watch the show and I tried not to make it obvious that I was staring at him but I really couldn't help it. He still had his cap on and I really wanted to reach up and take it off of him, to free those beautiful locks. I watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched and how he would purse his lips every now and then and jut his bottom lip out in a cute little pout. He did it so often that for a second I thought he was doing it on purpose just to gauge my reaction. But he didn't say anything. He just sat there watching TV. We were sitting awfully close and I wasn't sure if I was making it up but I swear there was some tension there, the air between us charged with some kind of excited anticipation. I was trying to think of something to say to break the silence, I didn't want him to think I was ignoring him or something but I was drawing a blank. I couldn't think of a single thing I could say to him or ask that wouldn't come off as lame or retarded. And then I got it, it was something that had been nagging me all day. I had just forgotten it due to all the marijuana intake.

"So what's the deal with you and my dad?"

Edward chuckled so lightly I barely heard it. "I was wondering when that would come up." He turned his head and looked at me. "What do you wanna know?" He said as he locked eyes with me.

His eyes were goddamn smoldering and I literally had to fight with myself to stay on topic, which was already hard enough considering how high I was. "Uh, well, I don't really know anything about it. Alice mentioned it earlier but I didn't ask her about the details. She did say something about you being a trouble maker though and I figured that's why you don't get along with him." I rambled.

Edward shook his head, "Well, I wouldn't say that I'm a trouble maker. I don't go out and try to get into trouble intentionally." Edward paused to take a deep breath. "It's just that sometimes I think he has a personal vendetta against me."

"Why do you think that?"

"I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm innocent but he always catches me at the worst possible times, like he has some kind of radar or something. I don't know. And I have a bit of a temper and he knows that so I think he purposefully tries to piss me off so I'll make the situation worse for myself and it always fucking works. I can't help it. No offense or anything but I really don't like the guy."

I smiled at him sheepishly, "That's ok. I've heard worse than whatever you have to say about him. He and my mom didn't exactly end on good terms."

Edward laughed and nodded but his expression became somber and he turned his attention back to the TV. The tension remained between us though and the urge to reach out and touch him was growing harder and harder to resist. And then he sighed suddenly, as if he had been holding on to something and was finally letting go. He looked at me again and his eyes were full of emotion, they were almost pleading. I was a little taken aback, his moods shifted so quickly I couldn't keep up. A second ago I thought he was ignoring me and then he went and looked at me like that with those beautifully deep, emerald eyes and I was back at square one.

"Can I ask you something, Bella?"

"What?" I felt myself getting lost in his intense gaze but I couldn't look away. I tried, but I was too entranced.

"What going on with you and Newton?"

Uh, what? "Nothing. Why?"

"Well, he was walking around acting like you were his and shit so I figured there was something going on there."

I almost laughed in his face. I hadn't come to my decision about Mike yet but I definitely wasn't _his_. "I dunno, Edward. I mean Mike's nice and all but I don't know how I feel yet. I've only been here one day." I felt like I had said that a lot today. I could have lied and said that I had no interest in Mike but I wanted to be honest with Edward. And I honestly didn't know.

He nodded and dropped his gaze again, looking down at my hands resting in my lap. His next move completely blew my mind. He reached over slowly and grabbed one of my hands with one of his own, weaving our fingers together. His hand was big and warm and his touch sent sparks and tingles up my arm and spread throughout my body. He must have felt it too because his brow furrowed and he looked up at me suddenly with a slightly curious expression on his face. Our eyes met again and what happened next was almost pure instinct. We both, at the same time, started leaning in towards each other. I couldn't control it, it just happened. It was like I was being pulled to him, not forced but rather very, very compelled to be closer to him. Our faces drew closer until we were only inches apart and I closed my eyes, preparing myself for it because I knew it was going to happen. And goddamn if I didn't want it to. We were so close now I could feel his warm breath on my face, I could smell him. I caught a faint trace of his cologne and it smelled so good I inhaled deeply, greedily wanting more of his scent. He also smelled of mint and smoke, both cigarette and marijuana but it wasn't off putting at all, his scent was intoxicating. I felt his nose brush mine and I decided right then and there that I was going to close the remaining distance between us. I couldn't bare the tension anymore and it was way too tempting to resist. I started forward, feeling his unsteady breath on my lips, I could practically taste him on my tongue… and then the door burst open.

"What up, bitches!" Edward and I sprang apart and I looked to see who the hell had ruined our moment. My eyes fell upon a huge guy with dark hair and massive muscles. And I realized I recognized him. I had him for my first period history class, I sat next to him. Emmett, I remembered. Emmett Cullen. Fucking duh! I looked at Edward, "Your brother?"

Edward sighed and nodded as he rested his forearms on his knees and hung his head. "My brother."

"Ohhh shiiiit," Emmett sang out teasingly, "Am I interrupting?"

Edward looked up at his brother, a variety of emotions playing on his face ranging from anger to slight amusement to embarrassment. For a moment I thought he was going to admit to what had just transpired but he locked eyes with me and gave me an almost apologetic look before returning his gaze to his brother, "You wish, Em." He looked behind Emmett towards the door, as if he was expecting someone to be behind him but there was no one there. "Where's Rose?"

"She went in the house to round up Jazz and Alice."

Edward looked at him, confused.

Emmett laughed, "We called Alice to tell her we were coming over and when she didn't answer Rose knew they must be somewhere fucking so she sent me in here to check and she went inside." Emmett said as he made his way over to the refrigerator in the corner, taking out a few beers. He handed one to Edward and then came and took a seat in a chair beside me. He looked over at me, a big smile on his face. "Hi, Bella, we have first period History together."

"Yeah, I know. You're not exactly hard to miss." I teased. "Are you a junior?" Our class was a junior class but he was so big I assumed this morning that he must be a senior but I didn't ask.

"Hell nah!" He chuckled "I failed the second semester last year so I have to take it again." He twisted open one of the beers and handed it to me. I paused as I looked down at it, not sure whether I should take it or not. I was already high so I was pretty sure I didn't need any other form of intoxication but I didn't want to be rude so after a second I took it from his hand and took a swig of it, trying not to grimace at the bitter taste of it. I'd only had beer a couple of times before and I didn't like it. I couldn't see how anyone could stand it, although I did understand it was an acquired taste.

Edward retreated yet again, downing his beer quickly, his attention once again fixated on the TV and Emmett took notice. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I didn't really interrupt did I?" I frowned and nodded slightly. "Aw, shit, Bella, I'm sorry." He looked at Edward, "Hey, Edw-"

"That's why you should answer the phone when I call you," An unfamiliar voice rang from the doorway. I looked over and saw a very beautiful girl trailing behind Alice and Jasper. She was tall, blonde with blue eyes and she had an amazing body, even I could appreciate it. She walked over to Emmett and sat in his lap as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You can suck my balls, Rosalie." Jasper said. I chuckled because he sounded serious but his expression was one of amusement. Jasper looked at me and pointed to Rose, "That bitch right there is Rosalie by the way."

"Hi, Bella. It's nice to meet you." She gave me a warm smile before she turned back to Jasper. "And present them, bitch. I'm waiting."

"Guys, please. Not now, you're probably freaking Bella out." Alice said.

I laughed. "I'm fine, Alice." I looked at the clock on the cable box below the TV and noticed that it was almost half past five o'clock. I had no idea what time Charlie would be home but I didn't want to risk running into him unprepared. "But I think I should get going. I wanna beat Charlie home."

"Oh, sure. Are you ready, Edward?" Jasper asked.

Edward still didn't look up from the TV but he nodded and got to his feet, pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one before walking out the door without saying one word to anyone.

"See you at home, E." Emmett said to Edward's retreating figure. Emmett looked up at me as I stood up from the couch. "And I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow, Bella."

I smiled, "Yeah. See you guys later."

The ride home was tense in the backseat, neither Edward nor I said anything and Jasper and Alice were lost in their own conversation. As soon as the truck came to a stop Edward was out the door without saying a word to anyone.

What the hell was going on? Was it something I did?

I looked up to see if either Jasper or Alice were going to say anything about him being upset, they knew Edward better than I did, but they were still immersed in their own little world. I decided I was going to let it go and not let it bother me but I couldn't get my mind off it. It bothered me all evening.

--

And that's how I ended up here.

I had indeed beat Charlie home and after curing an insanely intense case of the munchies, I cleaned up and started on what little homework I had. I spent most of the rest of the night texting Alice, trying subtly to get information on Edward but to no avail. I couldn't get the information I wanted without being straight up about it and I didn't want to get into that with her just yet. It would happen eventually but I didn't want Alice to think that I was only talking to her to get information about Edward. I liked Alice, I could already say that she was my first friend in this new town and I was glad for it so I didn't want to ruin or taint it with my other problems.

Plus, I still had to figure out what I was going to do about Mike. I had given him my number earlier in the day and we had been texting on and off the whole night. I liked Mike. He was smart and funny and incredibly sweet. But all that only added to my frustrations.

Ugh.

Boy troubles on the first day. Who'da thunk it?

I felt kind of bad because I was kind of taking it out on Charlie but I didn't know what else to do. The only thing I could think was that I should just sleep on it and ask Edward tomorrow what all that had been about. And that was probably the best option at the moment.

But I really wasn't looking forward to it.

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**A/N**

**So yeah, that was it. Hope you enjoyed the CPOV, he'll be back fairly often.**

**If you wanna review, feel free to even if its just a simple "I liked it" it means a lot. Hell, most of my reviews go like that cuz I dont have the words to describe how awesome some of these fics are. And if you dont review then thats cool too. Im just thankful people actually read my little story that might. (get it? little engine that could?... you girls are clever so Im sure you did!)  
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	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**

**What this? An update so soon? Yes, I've been a good girl lately and have been writing whenever the urge hits and it's paid off.**

**This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer but I decided to cut it down the middle and just make it two chapters, you'll see why. I'm trying to speed the pacing up a bit and you should see that happen in the next chapter, I couldn't seem to get there this time but no worries, we'll get somewhere soon.**

**All EPOV. He wanted this one all to himself so enjoy.**

**SM owns Twilight, but this is mine.

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**EPOV**

I should have just kissed her.

I slammed my hand on my desk. The noise startled Jake, my nine week old Siberian Husky and he scurried under the covers on my bed. I felt bad for startling him, I loved that little fucker. I've only had him for a couple of weeks, I had convinced my parents that having a dog would teach me responsibility and a bunch of other bullshit and they had eaten it all up. I picked him out of a litter of five. He had caught my eye right away. He was the only red one in the batch and as soon as he looked up at me with those little puppy eyes, I was sold. For having had him for such a short time he was incredibly loyal already. He was always at my side, wagging his little tail in the air. Cute little shit. Yeah, I said it. He's fucking cute.

But yeah. I should have fucking kissed her when I had the chance because now I couldn't stop thinking about it, about her. And that was not a good thing. I told myself I would leave her alone, that I wouldn't think about her that way, that she was off motherfucking limits. But I guess I didn't fucking care. There was just something about Bella that intrigued me. And it wasn't that she was "fresh meat" or that she was mysterious, or any bullshit like that. She was just different. I didn't know why or how, she just was.

I don't fully understand what happened or what changed, but it had and I wanted her. There was no denying that. And it wasn't even a sexual wanting – well not _just_ a sexual wanting - I wanted to know her. I wanted to get to know her. It was all I thought about last night.

We had been so close, we were _right there, _and then Emmett had to ruin it. And I mean _ruin_ it. Because up until then I hadn't even thought about what I was doing, I hadn't thought of how stupid kissing her would be, how wrong it would have been. I had forgotten about the limitations I had set in my mind but it happened – or didn't happen depending on how you look at it – and now I'm just fucking torn. Because I want her but I shouldn't, nothing good could come from it. It was guaranteed to be trouble. But even knowing that shit didn't change a goddamned thing.

And what's worse was that I had acted like a doucebag afterward. I had completely ignored her but it wasn't intentional, I was just so confused and lost that I needed some time to think and I didn't realize it until I was home that I hadn't said a word to her since the "almost" kiss. I felt like such a jackass. I couldn't even begin to think how she felt about the whole situation but I imagined she was upset, I know I would be if I were her. I thought about asking Alice for her number so I could text her an apology or some shit, but that was a bitch move. I wanted to deal with this in person. I needed to man-up and tell her exactly what was going on and why kissing her would have been a mistake. I needed her to understand that it was best for us both if we just left it alone because it was obvious that there was a mutual attraction there. I wasn't stupid, I had felt that shit when I grabbed her hand and I knew it wasn't going to be easy to stay away from her. It was like fucking electricity or something. I felt the pull, almost like fucking gravity and shit, powerful and undeniable physical chemistry. I had never felt anything like it and God help me if I wasn't craving that sensation again. And we had merely held hands, I kept imagining what it would have been like if we had actually kissed…

Yeah, it was a long night for me.

--

Emmett had come home late and knocked on my door as I was shutting down my laptop and getting ready for bed.

_Tap tap tap _"Edward." _Tap tap tap_ "Edward." _Tap tap tap_ "Edward." Emmett called from the other side of the door.

I rolled my eyes, I should have never introduced him to _The Big Bang Theory_, he's been using Sheldon's knock since season one and it would have been annoying if it wasn't funny as shit. "Come in!"

Jake started growling as soon as Emmett opened the door. He was lost somewhere in my sheets trying to get out and see who was intruding but the dumb shit was tangled up real good and couldn't find his way out. "Shut up, Jake." I said forcefully and he stopped immediately. I smirked, he was a good dog. I look at my big brother as he stepped into my room and shut the door behind him. "What's up, Em?"

"You busy?" he asked. I shook my head as I sat on the edge of my bed, reaching over to free Jake's dumb ass from the covers since he still couldn't get out.

"Just getting ready for bed. What's up?"

Emmett leaned back against the door and brought his hand up to scratch the back of his head nervously which was weird because my brother wasn't the nervous type. "I just wanted to tell you that I feel real bad about earlier when I walked in on you and that Bella chick. I feel like I cock-blocked you or something and I wanted to make sure you weren't pissed at me. I swear I didn't do that shit on purpose."

I laughed dryly as I scratched Jake behind his ears, he loved when I did that shit, he closed his eyes and his tongue would roll out and he would start to pant all content and shit. "Em, it's probably a good thing you cock-blocked me so don't worry about it."

"What do you mean, 'It's probably a good thing'? Cock-blocking is an unforgivable offense, it goes against Man Law."

I smiled. "I mean it was a good thing because I have no business doing that shit with Bella anyway."

Emmett had this really confused look on his face, which was normal for Emmett since he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but this was different, whatever I had said made absolutely no sense to him. "Why the hell not? She seemed pretty cool and she's fucking hot, a little thick, nice curves and shit. And did you see that ass, man?"

"Yes, Emmett, believe me, I saw her ass." Bella did in fact have a very nice ass, she had nice tits too, not huge but not small either, just right. She had an all around amazing body; she was thick but not in a bad way, she just wasn't a fucking twig – you can't do anything with girls like that, nothing to hold on to, nothing to work with. And she was short too which was another huge turn on for me. Shit, I could go on and on listing the things I found attractive about her. "But you know who her dad is. That's some shit I just don't want to get into."

He eyed me dubiously. "You sure? 'Cause if you don't get on that someone will. Newton was all up on that in class, you should have seen hi-"

"I did see him. And if he wants her, he can have her. I'm bowing out on this one."

Emmett just stared at me with his brow furrowed. He didn't get it, I wasn't usually like this, I'm not one to back down from anything, and I don't just give up like that. His expression cleared after a second and I knew he was just letting it go, he knew by now not to push me. "Alright, man. You're still riding with me in the morning right?"

"Yeah, but just to Rose's house, Jazz is gonna pick me up from there."

"Good shit." He went to open the door but he stopped and turned around, a goofy grin on his face. He came over the bed and petted Jake on the head. Emmett loved animals, he always had. But Emmett had never really known his own strength and when we were little he had accidentally smothered a kitten to death and now he was usually too scared to even touch any small animal so it was nice to see him interact with Jake, I knew it made him happy. After letting Jake lick his hand a few times Emmett smiled triumphantly and bid us both goodnight before shutting the door behind him.

--

And now Emmett was pounding on my door, yelling at me to hurry up before I made him late to pick up Rosalie. I swear to God, my boys were so fucking pussy whipped it was ridiculous.

I lost track of time thinking about this Bella situation so I was running a little late. I got up from my desk chair and threw my grey hoodie on and sprayed myself with some Axe. I didn't feel like messing with my hair, as usual, so I put my Sox cap on again. My mom kept telling me I shouldn't wear it so much, alleging that as I got older I would lose my hair from lack of air flow or some bullshit, but I had fucking great hair and I knew she was just saying that because she thought I was just being too lazy to comb it. She wanted me to look more presentable, more proper I guess, but my hair did whatever the hell it felt like doing anyway so combing it would do nothing but waste my time, I usually just ran my hands through it to get it somewhat tamed. But I digress.

Emmett was yelling that he was walking out the door so I scrambled over to Jake. He was still sleeping on my bed so I went over and picked him up, carrying him gently to the other side of the room. "You be good now, Jake. I'll be back after school to let you out." I said as I placed him in his crate and checked to make sure he had a little food and enough water to hold him over for the day. He looked at me with his sad eyes and I kind of got the feeling he didn't want me to go. "I'll be back soon, buddy. When I get home, we'll go for a little run, ok? Maybe I'll try to teach you some tricks." Jake yawned and nestled into his little doggie bed. "Good boy."

I hustled down the stairs and popped my head in the kitchen to say bye to my mom.

"Wait, come here." She called as I all but ran past her to the front door.

Ah shit, what now? I turned with my hand on the doorknob and puttered back to the kitchen. "I gotta go, Emmett's waiting." I told her as I gestured towards the front door.

"He can wait a little longer. Come over here real quick. I want to talk to you."

I walked over to the island where she was organizing some paperwork. "What's up?" I sighed. Whenever my parents said they wanted to talk to me it was never a good thing.

"Your father and I are going to go out of town this weekend and we're leaving your brother in charge." She looked up from her paperwork and looked into my eyes as she tried to gauge my reaction, but I kept a straight face even though the wheels of possibility were already turning. Party. Girls. Alcohol. Weed.

"And I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him," She continued, "No parties. No girls. You hear me?"

Damn.

I nodded my head.

"I'm serious, Edward. If we come back and I find out you or your brother did something you weren't supposed to do, you're never getting that car back."

Emmett was laying on his horn now. Beeeeeeep, Beeep, Beeeeep, Beeeeeeeeeeep.

I sighed and looked at my mom, begging with my eyes for permission to leave. "Ok, can I go now?"

"One last thing," she said as she started packing her paperwork in her portfolio. "If you're good the rest of the week and you do good this weekend… I'll give you the car back."

"Are you serious?!" I knew they would give it back sooner than they said; they always did. But I wasn't expecting it so soon.

"Yes. And it's only because I know you and your brother, and I think this is the only way to get you to behave while we're gone."

I was smiling from ear to ear. Mom could be a hardass when she had to be but deep down she just wanted me to be happy and she had a soft spot for me. "I'll be good, I swear."

"GODDAMMIT, EDWARD! YOU'RE MAKING ME LATE!!!" Emmett bellowed from the driveway as my mom and I made our way to the front door. We both grinned and she leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek before pushing me out the door.

-

I rode the high that the prospect of getting my car back gave me until lunch. Up until then I tried not to think about the whole Bella situation and I thought I was doing a pretty good job at it. But I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't think about it at all, 'cause I did. I still didn't know what I was going to say to her, if anything. Then I sat down at our table and saw Bella sitting with Newton and his little nerd buddies. She was smiling and seemed to be having fun but I'll be damned if the sight of Newton's arm wrapped around the back of her chair didn't piss me the hell off. I clenched my jaw to keep from saying anything and prayed no one noticed. I watched them as much as I could without drawing attention to myself and tried to maintain a discussion with my friends but it was hard trying to be part of a conversation when your attention is elsewhere.

I endured lunch and was thankful when the bell rang. I was so anxious I was the first one to make it to Biology, something that had never happened before. I took my seat in the back and waited for Bella. I decided that I wasn't going to bring up what took place yesterday; I was just going to pretend nothing happened. Yeah, it wasn't the best strategy but I was so out of my element it was the only thing I could think of, and maybe I should have gone to Alice about it but I didn't want to. I wasn't ready to let anyone know what was going on yet. Although, it was possible that Bella had gone to her about it but I knew Alice and she wasn't the type to just let that shit work itself out, she was way too nosey. So I was pretty confident that if Bella _had_ said something to her, Alice would have said something to me by now. And maybe Bella wasn't any better off than I was. Maybe she was waiting for me to make a move.

At that moment Bella and Newton walked into the room and she made her way over to our table as I shifted nervously in my chair. She took her seat and when she sat down I was immediately assaulted by her scent as it wafted over me. Oh, God, she smelled good. I tried not to inhale too deeply, I didn't want her to think I was some goddamned pervert but she smelled fucking good, like fruit or some shit and just fucking… clean. I don't know how I missed that shit yesterday.

"H-hey." I stuttered, unable to think of anything else to say.

She looked over at me hesitantly. "Hey."

She was being shy again. I didn't like that shit. She had been the same way yesterday, after school but she had warmed up to me quickly. Why had she regressed?

Uh, maybe it's because I'm a dumbass and I had embarrassed her yesterday when I tried to kiss her and then acted like an ass and didn't even speak to her afterward?

Yeah, that was probably it.

Whatever.

I didn't want her to be shy around me, I liked that playful, flirtatious side she had shown yesterday and I was determined to get that back.

"So how's day two going?" I asked as nonchalantly as possible.

"It's going." She said simply as she pulled her iPod from her backpack and unwound her earphones. Ok, I couldn't tell if that was meant to be sarcastic in a good way or a bad way. Not that I blamed her if she was mad at me. I expected as much but it still hurt a little to think that she was upset with me.

I chuckled, hoping for the best, "Ok, well is it going well?"

She looked up at me then and our eyes met for the first time that day. When our eyes locked her expression softened a little and her deep, brown eyes appeared to lighten a bit. I smiled at her, unable to help myself and she smiled back. I had to fight with myself not to stare at her too long because I noticed with a small amount of alarm that that _pull_ was still there, I still craved to be close to her. Shit! I had been hoping it would feel different today, that it was some weird, weed induced fluke that had made being close to her feel so… different. But it wasn't. It was still the same. Actually, it might be even stronger than it was the first time. I could tell it wasn't something I was going to be able to ignore.

"Yeah," she said before looking away and blushing. "…It's getting better."

"Oh? And whys that?" I asked. I was pretty sure it had something to do with me but I was trying not to be cocky about it.

She smiled and shook her head. "No reason in particular." Yeah, she wasn't biting. "Are you taking a nap again today?" She teased, changing the subject.

I smirked. "I wasn't planning on it. Why? Wanna join me?"

I winked at her and she laughed. "You wish."

And there she was, the little flirt. I was glad that it wasn't awkward between us at least. I enjoyed being able to joke around with her, she wasn't like those other girls who either clammed up when I flirted with them or immediate gave in to my advances.

I wanted to change the subject though as I felt that if we kept flirting I would say something stupid. "What are you listening to?" I asked as I gestured toward her little black iPod Nano.

"Music." She was going to make me work for it I guess.

I rolled my eyes, "_Who_ are you listening to?" I amended.

She shushed me as Mr. Banner was now standing in the front of the room and starting his lecture. She put an ear bud in her left ear and handed me the other one. I took it from her and placed it in my right ear so that the cord was hanging between us. She was about to settle on a song but I grabbed the device from her hand and started scrolling through her playlists. I'm not gonna lie, I was more than a little curious as to what her taste in music was like. Maybe we had some shit in common. And as I went through her playlists I learned that we did indeed have some of the same interests. She had a lot of older stuff, 80's music; Michael Jackson, The Cure, A Flock of Seagulls, R.E.M., some Depeche Mode. This girl appreciated the classics that was for sure. The only reason I even knew most of those songs was because I had played the shit out of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City which was set in the 80's and that game had the best fucking soundtrack on any game ever, full of some of the greatest hits from said decade. Bella also had a lot of new music; Linkin Park, Blue October, Jimmy Eat World, The All-American Rejects, even some girly shit like Paramore, Kelly Clarkson and Lady Gaga. I pretended I didn't notice all the boy bands in her library, I wasn't even gonna go there. I was fascinated by her taste in music though, it was so eclectic.

I found a song I liked by Shinedown and set the iPod back on the desk as I started fingering out the motions in the air along with the song. Yeah, I could fucking rock the air guitar. It didn't hurt that I could actually play the guitar and it was a simple chord. Bella shook her head and giggled as she watched me play the intro.

_My eyes are open wide  
By the way I made it through the day  
I watch the world outside  
By the way I'm leaving out today_

As the chorus came up I switched to the air drums and mouthed the lyrics silently as not to disrupt the class going on around us.

_I just saw Haley's Comet, she waved  
Said, "Why are you always running in place?"  
Even the man in the moon disappeared  
Somewhere in the stratosphere"_

_Tell my mother, tell my father I've done the best I can  
To make them realize this is my life, I hope they understand  
I'm not angry, I'm just saying  
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance_

I was just being silly but if it made her laugh like that and kept that beautiful smile on her face, I'd be a fucking one man air band for her all day, every day. I got kind of carried away as I got into it and Bella kept giggling. She tried to stifle her laughter with her hand when I hit the drum solo but she was unsuccessful and Mr. Banner cleared his throat from the front of the room. I looked up at him with my arms in mid air and dropped them right away as I noticed I seemed to have captivated the attention of the class. A snicker escaped from Bella and she tried to hide behind her backpack on the tabletop as her blush deepened and she visibly tried to get herself under control.

Once Mr. Banner was confident he had gotten us to shut up he continued his lecture and Bella and I spent the remainder of the class listening to her iPod, alternately choosing songs. We didn't speak much, every now and then we'd discuss a band or a song, it was nice. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence either, we just kind of sat there enjoying the music. She doodled a bit in her notebook and I was texting Emmett most of the time as he was already balls deep in plans for this weekend. He wanted to throw a party, a kegger to be precise. I wasn't opposed to it, we had done it before when our parents went away together and had gotten away with it easily, we just had to bust our asses cleaning up.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the period and Newton wasted no time making his way back to our table. I didn't like that shit. He needed to back the hell up and let her breathe. She didn't need him to hold her hand all goddamned day.

I shook my head and huffed.

"What?" Bella asked. I didn't even know she was watching me as she stood gathering her things into her backpack.

"Nothing," I said as I got up and grabbed my binder off the table. "Hey, did Emmett tell you anything about a party?" He hadn't said if he had told Bella or not and I wanted to make sure she got an invite.

"Yeah, he said something about it but he was, like, super excited and I couldn't really keep up," She chuckled.

I chuckled too because it figured. My brother turned into a squealing fangirl when it came to parties. "It's probably gonna be on Friday night, he wants to get a keg and a few of bottles. It'll probably turn into a big thing. You're gonna come, right?"

"Hey, Bella." Newton said as he approached our table, interrupting her before she could answer.

I gritted my teeth, suddenly extremely pissed off. I don't know why I was feeling so angry, Bella wasn't mine, I didn't have a fucking claim on her but I felt like Newton was stepping in on me. Emmett was right, if I didn't get at her, others would and I would lose her. But she was like a fucking forbidden fruit. I had never been so conflicted in my life.

I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to get away, I had to think.

I left without another word and I felt bad for doing that to her again but right now I needed a fucking cigarette. I went out a side door and pulled out my Camels. I lit one and took a deep pull as I leaned back against the building. What the fuck was I going to do? I couldn't just sit around and let Newton win, I wanted her too badly but I couldn't just ask her out either. This was a fucking sensitive situation. I needed to tread lightly if I was going to move on it. I knew one thing though; this wasn't going to be easy. There were going to be a lot of issues we would have to work on, if she would even want to be with me. We'd have to sneak around behind her dads back because there was still no way - no chance in hell - that I could just take her out. He wouldn't have that. But would she be ok with that? Would she even want to date someone who had so much beef with her dad?

I sighed. Because regardless of what her choice was, she shouldn't have to hide anything from him, she shouldn't have to deal with the bullshit that came with going out with me. She deserved better than that. Maybe Newton was the better choice after all.

Fuck.

Being with me wouldn't be easy, it would be an uphill battle and I couldn't do that to her. I had no right to complicate her life. And it was my fault. If I wasn't such a goddamned fuck up this wouldn't even be an issue. I wasn't good enough for her. She should be with someone who had more to offer than bullshit and lies and secrets. And that realization hurt. It cut like a goddamned knife; the fact that _I_ was the reason this wouldn't work. That it was _me_ who was fucking this up, and not even me but my past, all the stupid, pointless mistakes I had made. It was all me.

* * *

**A/N**

**Next chapter is already almost done. Its a party scene, I plan on having fun with these kids :D**

**Gonna put pics in the profile for visual reference, enjoy.**

**Leave me some love if you wish, it makes me happy XD**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**

**Happy New Year, everybody! Hope you all had a merry Christmas as well. **

**Yeah, I meant to get this thing done sooner (considering most of it has been finished for a couple weeks) but with the holidays and working up the nerve to use a Beta... I needed some time lmao.**

**Speaking of my Beta, THEsnapcrakklepop is a godsend. I wish I had her from the beginning; she made my words look pretty :D And she made what I couldn't fully express in words, make sense... if that made sense. (Yeah, thats the kinda sh*t she had to deal with lol)  
**

**Enough of that, on to the party! All BPOV**. ***UNDERAGE DRINKING WARNING***

**SM owns Twilight, but this is mine.****  
**

* * *

BPOV

It was Friday night and I was sitting in my room, waiting for Alice to pick me up. The big night was upon us and the whole school had been buzzing with excitement over the boys' party. Charlie wasn't working tonight and a little white lie about shopping and catching a movie with Alice was enough to satisfy his curiosity about me going out my first week of school. As soon as he sensed girl business he backed off. I made a mental note to remember that in the future.

Tonight would be the first party I was actually looking forward to attending. I had been to a few when I was in Phoenix, but I had never trusted the girls I had gone with enough to really let go and have a good time let alone get anywhere near drunk. I was always too afraid that if it came down to it and I got too messed up that they wouldn't take care of me, so I had held back. But things were different now; I trusted these people. Well, I trusted Alice and Emmett anyway.

I shook my head as I thought about them. Alice was so immediately welcoming that it wasn't at all surprising how quickly she was becoming my favorite person. She radiated happiness, and her constantly cheerful mood was incredibly contagious; you just wanted to be happy and enjoy it with her. Emmett was just a big teddy bear who acted like he didn't have a worry in the world. He was always goofing around and while you wouldn't think it to look at him, he was a total softie. If you asked me, I'd credit Rosalie for that! She was the reason Emmett was so happy; it was obvious by the way he looked at her that she was all he needed and nothing else mattered. Still, it was kinda hard to watch them every now and then. Sometimes they just didn't care who was around; if they wanted to express their love for one another, they did it right then and there.

It was still early on but I had somehow managed to fit in perfectly with their whole little group. I even managed to win favor with Rosalie who didn't like anybody, but apparently she liked me. Mostly because I brought so much amusement to Emmett and that made her happy. And Jasper was awesome. He was mellow and carefree- I frequently called him a hippy, and he knew what it was like to move to a new town not knowing anybody. I was grateful to have finally found somewhere where I felt comfortable in my own skin. I didn't have to worry about impressing them or proving anything to them, and they didn't ask me to. They were all just so… cool, so laid back and easy going. I admired their friendship because they were so close and comfortable with each other that they were like family, and I hoped that someday I could be part of that.

But I was still trying to adjust. Back home I had never had a social life, my days consisted of going to school, coming home, cooking dinner, talking to my mom, studying and then finally going to bed and starting the whole process over again. Don't get me wrong, there were the occasional weekends where I would go out with some friends and be young and reckless, but not many. And it was so strange to me that as soon as I arrived here all of my spare time was suddenly occupied. It was as if my social life was like a volcano, lying dormant for years before finally erupting and overflowing with astonishing speed and force. Hopefully, unlike the volcano, I don't leave complete devastation in my wake. But with my luck, anything and everything was possible.

And then there was still the matter of Edward. We were in a stalemate. We were both waiting for the other person to make a move and we were both too stubborn to do it ourselves. What made matters worse was that we hadn't spoken much since Thursday in class. He'd even been distant at Jasper's after school. I just didn't get it.

Maybe tonight I would go up to him an-

At that moment I heard Alice pull into the driveway. She honked her horn and I double checked my pockets to make sure I had the essentials: keys, phone, wallet, and my iPod just in case... I really should just get an iPhone, it'd be one less thing to worry about.

Assured that I had everything I needed, I pulled my jacket on as I ran down the stairs. I locked the door on my way out, and I hoped like hell Charlie would be back from his guys' night and in bed before I got home.

I ran down the front steps but stopped short when I saw the vehicle parked in the driveway. Wow… Alice had a nice car. It was a yellow Mustang with blacked out windows but I couldn't tell you what year it was or if it was some special make or whatnot. Regardless, the car was sexy.

"Nice car, Alice. Who'd you steal it from?" I joked as I buckled my seatbelt.

"My daddy," she said quickly, flashing me a big mischievous smile.

"I'm assuming he doesn't know what our plans are tonight…"

"My daddy doesn't know a lot of things. And what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

She looked me over and shook her head disapprovingly.

"What?" I asked as I looked down at myself. I saw nothing wrong.

She sighed, returning her attention to the road in front of her, "I knew I should have dressed you tonight."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Nothing. You're just so conservative, Bella. You oughtta show a little skin, do your make up, wear jeans so tight you gotta lay down to button them."

"I don't care, Alice, I'm not trying to impress anyone." I said as I rolled my eyes.

She rolled her eyes back at me, "Oh, I forgot. You've already got one on the line."

"Yeah, Mike's nice," I said as I looked out the window. Mike _was_ nice but, I just wasn't really feeling it with him. There was no pull… nothing special. He was a good buddy though.

"Mike?" She sounded surprised, like she expected someone else.

"Yeah… who did you think I was talking about?"

She didn't answer me but I didn't press it, I didn't want to go there right now. The car was silent with the exception of the radio as we drove through Forks towards the outskirts of town where the Cullen's lived. It was barely ten o' clock when we pulled up to the guys' house and there were already a lot of cars parked outside. The house itself was massive and very elegant and had a circular drive with a fountain in the middle. I had never seen a nicer house and we hadn't even gone inside yet.

Alice spotted Jasper's truck and pulled up next to it but I needed to know something before we went inside. "Alice, who did you think I was talking about earlier?" I asked as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"I don't know, I didn't mean anything by it."

"You're lying."

She was, and she was horrible at it.

She sighed and turned in her seat to face me. "Ok. I'll tell you – but you didn't hear this from me."

"Ok, ok, just tell me." I had no idea what she was talking about but I was suddenly desperate to know what it was. You know, because girls love to gossip so much.

Alice took a deep breath and placed her tiny hand on my forearm as if to imply that I should brace myself, like this was some of the biggest news I would ever receive. "Ok. He hasn't said anything to me directly but from what I've heard from Jasper, Edward talks about you all the time and he was really excited when he found out you were coming tonight."

Hold the phone. What? That just didn't make any sense. He hadn't shown any signs that he was happy about me attending his party at all, at least none that I could see. I narrowed my eyes at Alice, "Really?" I asked doubtfully, not wanting to get my hopes up prematurely.

She shrugged, "That's what I heard. Now, are you ready to get fucked up and have some fun?"

I smiled and opened my door without further ado, deciding to put all this Edward business on the back burner for the moment, and stepped out into the cold. Now, I knew even before I moved here that it would take me a while to adjust to the cold climate but, Jesus! Something was going to have to give soon, it was freezing balls outside. Alice locked up the Mustang with the press of a button on her keychain and walked around the side of the car and before she could close her jacket up I saw her outfit for the first time that night. She was wearing an extremely short denim mini skirt, a brown strapless top with horizontal stripes a slightly lighter shade of brown, and brown leather boots that didn't quite reach her knees. Even I had to admit she looked hot. "Has Jasper seen you in that?" I asked as I pointed at her outfit as she finished zipping up her coat.

She giggled, "He has not, and I can't wait to see his face when he does. Five bucks says it takes him ten minutes to cave and whisk me away from the party."

I shook my head, "Five minutes."

We laughed and then hurried up to the big house, in a rush to get the hell out of the cold. Before we even reached the door Emmett's booming voice rang out over the loud music coming from inside the house as he flung the door open.

"Bella!" he yelled as he ran at me and scooped me up in a huge bear hug. I laughed as he swirled me around and when he set me down I caught a whiff of the alcohol on his breath.

"Whoa! You started without me, Em?" I chided him lightheartedly.

He flashed a brilliant smile at me, "I just had a shot or two to get warmed up." He pulled us inside and took our coats, hanging them on the rack beside the door. "Come on, let's get you some drinks."

We followed Emmett to the kitchen, passing through the living room on our way. There were already a lot of people mingling about, most holding red or blue plastic cups and I recognized most of them from school but there were also quite a few people I had never seen before. Emmett led us through the crowd of people to where Jasper was standing by the sink, pumping the keg and pouring beer for people as they held their cups out to him. Occupied by his task, he hadn't noticed we were there yet and Alice snuck up on him, wrapping her arms around him from behind and burying her face in his back. I watched as Jasper's face lit up right away, knowing it was her immediately. He turned around and began pulling her into his arms but he stopped and held her at arm's length when he caught sight of what she was wearing. His eyes widened as they trailed down her body.

"Damn, baby," he huffed, his voice full of desire. He shook his head slightly as he pulled her into his arms and started kissing on her. "You're tryin'a kill me," he mumbled against her lips, causing her to giggle as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

I giggled at their unbridled display of affection and Emmett shook his head, muttering something about Jasper abandoning his post, and walked over to the keg to pour us some drinks.

Emmett handed me a cup of beer and I sipped it tentatively; I still didn't really like that stuff yet. "Where's Rose?" I asked him as I realized she wasn't by his side as was usual.

"She's trying to get Edward to come out of his room," he said as he sipped his beer and leaned against the island where there was at least fifteen bottles of liquor and mixers spread about. "He was being a little bitch earlier, saying he wasn't going to party with us. And you know my Rosie; she wasn't having that shit."

"I'm not having what shit?" Rosalie asked as she snaked under Emmett's arm and took the cup from his hand. "Hey, Bella."

"Hi, Rose," I smiled.

Rosalie was looking pretty fine herself, she was wearing a grey plaid mini skirt with thin red and white accents and a red, long sleeved, low cut shirt with black boots. Emmett was matching with a black, short sleeved rugby shirt with thin red stripes and dark jeans.

"I was just telling Bella how Edward was being a bitch." Emmett explained as he poured himself another beer to replace the one Rosalie took from him. I looked around for Alice and Jasper but they were nowhere in sight.

I chuckled. It looked like Alice owed me five bucks.

"Fuck the both of you." A voice I would recognize anywhere called from behind me. I turned and my eyes fell upon Edward and my breath hitched a bit as I took him in. He was wearing a black button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, dark jeans and his black Vans. His hair was under wraps tonight unfortunately, once again confined by his ball cap. His eyes drifted down to me and he nodded in acknowledgement. "Hey," he said simply and his mouth curved into a lazy little half grin.

"Hey, Edward."

"I think it's time for shots!" Emmett announced before the silence could settle. "Bella, you want Jager, Jack, Crown, Goose or Patron?" he asked as he lined up all the bottles he had listed out.

I wasn't much of a drinker so I wasn't sure what the difference between them was. I had no idea which was vodka, whiskey, or tequila but I was too embarrassed to ask them so I picked the bottle that I thought looked the best. "I'll take Grey Goose."

"Excellent choice! My lady likes the Goose too." Emmett poured out the shots, Rosalie and I getting Grey Goose and he and Edward opted for shots of Jager. He made a toast to the night and we all threw our shots back. The liquid burned as it travelled down my throat and I could feel it warm my body right away, the sensation making me shudder. I sipped my beer as a chaser but it wasn't much help.

"You alright there, Bella?" Edward asked as he downed another shot. He grimaced a little as it went down.

"Yeah, I haven't drank in a while, I was never much of a drinker, actually."

"Well, hanging out with us, you'll be fucked up on a nightly basis," Emmett said.

Rosalie nodded in agreement as she hugged on Emmett's arm, "It's true. I was a good girl before I met Em."

Emmett beamed at her. "What can I say? I make the good girls go bad!" he sang out, and then pulled Rosalie into the living room to dance.

Edward shook his head at their retreating figures and turned to me with a sigh. He leaned against the counter and folded his arms across his chest. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Yeah, I wasn't expecting him to apologize and it surprised the hell out of me, "For what?" I asked.

He shoved his hands in his pocket and looked down at his shoes, "For being such a douche since we've met." He looked up and slowly brought his eyes up to meet mine. It looked like he was about to say something else but he stopped and seemed to be thinking about something. That crooked smile made an appearance again and he pushed off the counter and walked over to the island. "Wanna go somewhere with me so we can talk? Away from the music and all these people." He asked as he picked up the bottle of Jagermeister and two shot glasses.

"Where?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Normally, I'd say we could go out back and chill on the patio but it's too fucking cold for that shit, so I was thinking we could go to my room, if that's ok with you."

I hesitated as I thought about it. On one hand, I really wanted to go with him and clear up what was going on between us, but on the other hand I didn't want to leave the party just for him. I didn't want Emmett and Alice to think that I came just for Edward but as I looked around I realized that they were off doing their own thing with their significant others so they probably wouldn't care either way.

Edward must have mistaken my hesitation for apprehension, "I mean if you're not comfortable being alone with me in my room then we can find someplace else."

"No," I interjected quickly, "It's fine. I was just thinking I should tell Alice or Emmett so they won't be looking for me."

He smiled, "They'll be alright. Come on, follow me." He said as he motioned for me to follow him.

We were silent as we walked through the living room and took the stairs to the third floor. He led me down the hall to the last door, then he paused and handed me the bottle so he could fish out his keys and unlock the door. Once he had it unlocked he pushed it open and stood back so I could enter first.

Edward's room was nice, and surprisingly clean for a teenage boy's room; I was expecting a lot more clutter. I walked in and set the bottle down on his desk but I nearly dropped it in shock as I heard something howl. I looked around for the source of the noise and I noticed the sheets on Edward's bed moving. I almost started to panic but then a tiny ball of red fur poked its head out from under the covers and started howling again.

Aw! He had a puppy!

"Shut it, Jake!" Edward said sternly to his puppy and he quieted immediately. He placed the shot glasses next to the bottle then went and sat on the foot of his bed as Jake fully emerged from the sheets and crawled into Edward's lap, jumping all over his chest as he tried to lick his face.

"H-he howled at me?"

Edward chuckled as he took in my stunned expression, "Yeah, he's a Husky; they don't really bark, they just kinda howl instead. It's a wolf thing that got passed down from their ancestors." He patted the spot on the bed beside him, "Come here."

I went and sat down next to him and he held on to Jake as he tried to jump on me. I laughed as Jake squirmed in Edward's arms, trying his hardest to get to me, but Edward's hold was firm. I reached my hand out and ran my fingers through his fur, enjoying its soft texture, and he finally settled down as I stroked his back. "You have the same hair color. If that was intentional it's kinda cute."

Edward quirked an eyebrow at me, "And if it wasn't intentional?"

"Then it's _really_ cute."

He laughed, "I honestly never noticed before. But now that you mention it, he and I do kinda have the same color. Maybe it was a subconscious decision, I picked him 'cause he was the only redhead. I didn't think too much into it at the time."

"I see," I said as I continued to stroke Jake's fur. "So what was it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Yeah…" he said as he pushed Jake off of him and walked over to grab the bottle of Jager and the shot glasses, "I'm gonna need a couple more shots to get into that. Here." He handed me the glass and poured me a shot.

"Go to your bed, Jake," Edward commanded, and Jake sprang off my lap immediately and bounded into his little crate on the other side of the room.

"Wow. That was impressive," I commented.

Edward chuckled, "Yeah, he's a smart dog. Cheers." He sat down and clinked his shot glass with mine and threw it back. I wasn't as enthused and took mine slowly, grimacing as the burn went down. It wasn't as bad as the Grey Goose had been and I was surprised that the Jager had a good taste to it. "It's good shit, huh?" Edward asked as he held up the bottle.

I nodded in agreement and we fell into easy conversation. We talked about the party, who was there, who was coming, who was most likely to act a fool and get too drunk (apparently everyone had their money on Emmett) and we kept taking shots throughout. After a while I felt the buzz and I had to decline the next round of shots. Edward nodded and returned the bottle and the glasses to the desk. He came and sat back down next to me with a heavy sigh.

"You ready to talk now?" I asked.

He rubbed his face with his hands, pushing his cap up on his forehead a bit and turned to me, "Can I be completely straight up with you? Like, for real, no fucking bullshit?" He was staring into my eyes and with his cap pushed up I could finally see those beautiful green eyes clearly, although they were a little glossy from the alcohol and the weed I was sure he had smoked earlier.

"Go ahead." I took a breath to prepare myself. I honestly had no idea what he was going to say.

"Ok," he paused and took a deep breath of his own before he started, "I don't know if you can tell or not but I… I fucking like you, Bella. Like, I really fucking like you. I don't think I've ever been so drawn to someone before, I've never wanted anyone so badly before and it's not even a physical thing – well it's not just a physical thing – I like _you_, who you are, how you make me feel. And I'm only telling you because holding it in is _killing_ me and I would love nothing more than to ask you out and get to know you better, so you could get to know me better… but… I can't." He faltered at the end, his eyes falling from mine to stare down at his lap.

"Why can't you?" If he asked, I wouldn't have said no.

"Because, I'm a fuck up; I don't listen to anyone, I smoke too much weed, I curse entirely too damn much and I don't have anything to offer you and you deserve so much better than me."

I couldn't believe it was happening. Edward was practically baring his soul to me, telling me he wasn't worthy of me. But, when the hell did I become so great? As if I didn't do any of those things he had just said. If anything it was me who wasn't worthy; Edward was way out of my league as far as I was concerned. He was rich and popular and every girl in our grade would give anything for a chance to be with him and here he was, sitting right next to me, telling me I was too good for him.

"And even if none of that mattered," he continued, "I literally _can't_."

"Again, why can't you?"

"This is going to sound like some lame ass excuse but it's the truth; it's because your dad wouldn't allow it. He'd cut my balls off before he let me anywhere near you. If he knew you were here right now, sitting on my bed with me, he wouldn't hesitate to shoot me in the face." As he finished his sentence he threw himself back on the bed and just laid there as I took in what he had said.

I wanted to laugh. He was scared of my dad. It figured, but I wasn't. "Edward, my dad wouldn't have allowed me to come to this party, but here I am."

He pushed himself up and rested on his elbows. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, none of that other stuff matters and I don't care what my dad thinks, I doubt he would approve of anybody I went out with."

He shook his head as he sat up, "We can't, Bella. I mean, we can be friends and we can still hang out and shit but we can't be together," He kept talking but I tuned him out. "You just don't get it…"

No, _he_ wasn't getting it. He had made his feelings clear, now it was my turn and if he wasn't going to do anything about it, I was. Edward Cullen wasn't someone I could be "just friends" with, especially knowing he wanted more but was too afraid of the consequences. I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't take the chance now.

Knowing what I was about to do was going to change everything, I reached up and placed a finger to his lips, effectively ending his little speech. The contact our skin was making sent a current through me and my whole body was suddenly very alert. Fascinated by the feeling, I let my fingers travel along the line of his jaw, feeling the rough stubble beneath my fingertips. I felt him shudder at my light touch and then his hand was on my cheek, cupping it gently as his thumb caressed the soft skin delicately. I flushed under his touch as the warmth from his hand radiated onto me. He chuckled lightly as he saw me blush and he leaned into me. He went ninety percent of the way and then stopped, waiting for me to close the distance. And I didn't hesitate this time. I wasn't about miss my second chance, especially when I had been sure I would never get another one. I leaned into him and pressed my lips to his as he pressed forward to meet me. His lips were warm and soft and fit so perfectly against mine that I couldn't help the moan that escaped me as he applied more pressure. I kissed him back with as much force as he gave me and I slipped my arms around his neck, bringing him closer to me. He moved his hand from my cheek to knot his fingers in my hair and I whimpered softly as I felt his warm, wet tongue brush my lip, seeking entrance into my mouth. I parted my lips instantly and let my tongue mingle with his slowly, sensually, and simply relishing his taste. Edward shifted us around and pulled me onto his lap so that I was straddling him on the edge of his bed, his other hand going to my waist where he pushed the hem up to make contact with my skin. Feeling his body flush against mine ignited a passion, a longing inside me, the likes of which I'd never felt or even knew existed before and I had to be closer to him, so I couldn't help myself as I pressed myself more fully against him, which was a feat in and of itself. I pushed his cap off his head as I slid my fingers into his hair like I'd been wanting to do since I first laid eyes on him and he groaned into my mouth as I tugged on his hair gently, the vibration of it going straight to my groin. I writhed against him, my crotch coming in direct contact with his very prominent erection.

At the contact, Edward broke away from my mouth with a slight gasp, only to place his lips on my neck where he started nipping and sucking softly. I was thankful because I was in desperate need of air, my head spinning and reeling but not entirely from lack of oxygen.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" I asked breathlessly as I inclined my head back to give him better access. Both of his hands were now roaming under my shirt.

He chucked against my neck, the heat of his breath sending chills down my body. "I can't remember."

"Good." My hands were still in his hair and I tugged on it softly to pull him away from my neck; I wanted to feel his lips on mine again. He smiled when he realized my intentions and very willingly obliged, taking my bottom lip between his and sucking on it softly.

God, this boy could kiss.

But before we could deepen the kiss Edward's door burst open.

"Yo, E, why ar – oh, what the fuck?!" Emmett. Fucking Emmett.

I jumped off Edward's lap as soon as his voice filtered into the room and it was my natural reaction to try to put as much distance between Edward and myself but he pulled me back to him and sat me down on his lap.

Jake bounded out of his kennel and jumped up on Emmett's leg, begging for his attention, (comma) but Edward ordered him back to his crate sternly and he obeyed.

"Jesus, Emmett! I don't know what's worse; when you knock or when you don't! Fucking hell! What do you want?"

Emmett looked like a deer caught in headlights as he took in the sight before him; me sitting in Edward's lap, both of our clothes askew, Edward's hair a mess, his cap discarded somewhere on the floor. Then that big goofy grin reappeared, "I was gonna come in here to tell you that you guys are missing the party but it looks like you got your own shindig goin' on in here."

"Haha," Edward said sarcastically. "Give us a minute and we'll be out there."

Emmett held his hands up in surrender, "Ok, ok. Hurry up though; we had to bring out the back-up keg already." He retreated from the room and closed the door behind him.

Once the door was closed Edward turned me around and kissed my lips again sweetly. He pulled away after a moment and sighed against my cheek, "You know I'm not gonna let you go now, right?"

"I don't want you to." I assured him.

"Good," He continued as he hypnotized me with those piercing green eyes. "But just so we're clear, this means you're, like, mine now right? Like I can hug on you and kiss you whenever I want and stuff?" he asked as he squeezed me, which caused me to giggle, and I felt my cheeks flush at his words. He was too cute, the expression on his face and the look in his eye completely innocent and excited. He was like a little boy making sure it was his present before he tore into it.

"I'm yours if you're mine, Edward." I couldn't believe any of this was happening, this beautiful, intricate boy wanted to be with me, wanted me to be with him. I felt happy, like really happy for the first time in while.

Maybe it was the alcohol…

Regardless, it wasn't hurting the situation any.

"I'm all yours, then." He laughed and shook his head, "Does it usually go like this? I've never been here before. Is it usually so easy, so sure? You know what I mean?"

I shook my head. "I've never been here either," I explained, "But I don't think this is normal."

"We'll figure it out together then," Edward smiled. "Come on, let's go be social," He kissed me one last time before pulling away. I climbed off his lap and I frowned as he bent over to pick his cap up off the floor and he tucked away those beautiful bronze locks.

I might have to hide that thing one of these days…

We went back downstairs and rejoined the party after that and I was surprised to see that most of the people were still there, drinking and dancing and having a great time. Edward grabbed a hold of my hand as we met up with our people and he didn't let go of it all night. When they saw us together they didn't say anything but Alice gave me a very shit eating grin when she saw our intertwined fingers and I was sure as soon as we were alone I was going to get it. Unfortunately, other people noticed as well and I got death stares from a few girls as they watched Edward become more and more affectionate with me as the night went on and the alcohol in our systems increased, but I didn't care.

Haters gonna hate.

Time passed in a bit of a blur and after awhile people started filtering out of the house as the party died down and before long it was three in the morning and it was just the six of us left, sitting around the island in the kitchen, smoking a joint provided by Jasper. And even then they didn't ask Edward and me about our situation but I'm sure they got the picture as Edward and I maintained contact the whole night (I guess Edward was being literal when he said he wasn't going to let me go) and every so often he would lean into me, silently seeking access to my lips and I never denied him.

Emmett was indeed the drunkest of our group and when he got up to grab another drink, he stumbled and fell down on the kitchen floor. We all laughed as we watched him try to stand up but he couldn't find his balance and after a while he just laid there, sprawled out on the cold floor with a plastic cup in his hand and passed out.

"Pick yo man up, Rosalie." Jasper slurred, gesturing widely with his cup, "'S blockin' the path to tha beer." But Rosalie was out too, slumped over the island. "Shit," he continued as he poked Rose on her side, "When did she fall out?"

"Jazz, stop poking her," Alice giggled, "She's been passed out for like ten minutes." Alice was drunk as hell, she drank as much as any of us but she was so small it was amazing that she was still conscious. Jasper stopped poking Rosalie only to start in on Alice. He tickled her a moment before standing and pulling her off her stool as he started towing her into the other room.

"'Night, Bella!" Alice announced as Jasper scooped her up in his arms bridal style and they headed for stairs.

"We're staying the night?" But I was supposed to go home tonight. I had told Charlie I was just hanging out with Alice, I hadn't even told him I was staying out late so he'd probably be really pissed if I stayed out all night. And it wasn't even like I could call him and tell him now. No, no, no, I was far too inebriated to even try to act sober plus my phone had died a few hours ago so I couldn't anyway; I didn't have his number memorized. And, it was probably the alcohol and the weed, but I really couldn't bring myself to care because staying the night meant I got to sleep with Edward and there was no way I was going to pass that up.

I turned to Edward and he was sitting in the stool beside me, making a shot glass pyramid. He looked so adorable as he focused on keeping the small glasses even and lined up, his brow furrowing with concentration, his bottom lip tucked into his mouth. "I guess so," he explained with a shrug. (period) "You don't have to sleep in my room with me if you don't want to though. I can make up the couch and stay with you in there; I'll sleep on the floor."

I refused, telling him I was ok with staying with him and that if we were staying in the same room anyway we might as well be comfortable in his bed. I wasn't worried, I trusted Edward.

I followed him around the house as he locked up since he was the last man standing and then he led me back up the stairs and into his room once again.

"Do you want some clothes to sleep in? I got some sweats, they'll probably be way too big on you but it beats sleeping in jeans." He asked.

I smiled at him, his intentions were so transparent. "Are you trying to get me out of my pants, Edward?" I teased.

He smiled sheepishly, "Maybe." He chuckled, "No, not really, I just want you to be comfortable."

I nodded and accepted his offer.

It was a bitch to sleep in jeans.

He walked over to his dresser and pulled open a couple of drawers, pulling out a pair of old grey sweatpants and one of his white undershirts. I used his bathroom to change and when I stepped back into his room he was pulling the covers down on his bed. He had changed into a pair of navy blue pajama pants and a rather tight fitting grey undershirt, it was the first time I really saw his body since he was usually wearing a hoodie, and it did not do him justice at all. I didn't know where to start as I assessed his physique. His shoulders were broad and thickly muscled, as were his arms and his chest, oh his chest. God, this boy was going to be my undoing. And then I glanced at his back side and I had to stop because even his ass was perfect.

Edward cut the light out as we crawled into bed and I giggled when he wasted no time pulling me into his arms. We were both tired but, stubborn as always, neither of us wanted to give in so we stayed up and talked until we couldn't keep our eyes open any more. I didn't really want to sleep, I would have much rather stayed up talking to Edward all night long but the alcohol and the weed and the overall experience of the night was weighing me down and sooner rather than later I found myself succumbing to the fatigue. As I was fading out I rolled over to get more comfortable and Edward wrapped himself around me from behind, nuzzling against the spot between my shoulder blades and draping his big arm over my waist. I had never been held so intimately before and I tried to stay awake to enjoy the sensation a little longer but I was soon drifting off as the sound of Edward's rhythmic breathing lulled me to sleep.

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**A/N**

**Eek, I hope I did that first kiss justice. **

**And yes, Bella is in a lot of trouble. Charlie is not pleased. **

**Pics in the profile. Review if you don't mind taking a moment to make a fellow twihard smile :D  
**

**CPOV next ;)  
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	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**

**Two words: writer's block. **

**Thanks again to my amazing Beta miss Snapcrakklepop for all her awesomeness. If you have the time, check out her fic Blackout if you wanna see what Edward was doing during New Moon, it's greatness.**

**Well, I've kept you waiting long enough so... enjoy!**

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CPOV

"So where's Bella tonight?" Marcus, one of my deputies, asked as he took another swig of his beer.

Marcus and I spent every Friday night at Billy's Bar and Grill where we just kicked back and had a few beers. We didn't usually do much talking; Marcus was a young guy, twenty-six, no wife, no kids, no fucking responsibility, so what little conversation we did have usually revolved around the job. He was a good cop, fair and firm. I liked to think my training had a lot to do with that, but who's to say? And any other night I wouldn't have had shit to talk about either but tonight was the first Friday since Bella had moved in so, even though I thought it was really fucking girly of me, I needed to vent just a little bit.

"She's out with one of her girlfriends. They're going shopping and then to a movie. I dunno," I said with a shrug. I had been trying not to think too much about it; I had decided to trust Bella, so I was.

"How is it now that she's there, living with you? It's gotta be hard having spent so long on your own and now you have not only a kid to worry about, but a teenage daughter at that."

I downed the rest of my beer before responding, "It's fucking weird." I signaled to Billy for another round. "If I'd had a boy I think I would be fairing a whole lot better. I just don't know what to do with all the girly stuff. I'm just really fucking hoping she doesn't want to start dating. I don't think I could handle that shit. I'll probably end up shooting one of these little fuckers. I've actually thought about just locking her up until she goes off to college, at least then I won't have to witness anything."

Marcus was laughing at me and I had a strong urge to thump his beer with mine so it would foam up and he'd have to chug it to keep it from spilling onto the bar. He would just get me back later so I resisted the urge and kept drinking my beer.

"Other than that," I continued since the floodgates were open, "I'm on edge all the damn time, worried I'm gonna say or do something that's gonna piss her off. It's kinda like when I was with Renee, like walking through a damn minefield. Plus, I don't think she even sees me as her dad. I think to her I'm just a baby sitter.

"We don't talk. Ever. We just kind of… coexist. I try… I try so hard but… I mean… I just don't think it's gonna work. She hates me." God damn, I could even get the words out right.

Marcus scoffed. "I don't think she hates you, man. She's just adjusting. This kind of thing takes time, you know? Just… I dunno, wait it out I guess."

I wanted to laugh at the fact that I was getting parenting advice from a guy with no kids who was only a few years older than Bella. But he was right and I knew it; all I could do was wait and keep trying to make the shit work.

"And about the whole boy thing," he continued as he checked out the semi-attractive woman sitting across the bar, his eyes darting over in her direction for the briefest second before returning to me. "Bella is a very pretty girl but I don't think you have anything to worry about, chief. Everyone knows she's your daughter, they'll keep a distance."

Yeah. In a perfect world maybe.

I didn't stay at the bar too much longer because I wanted to be home when Bella got back. I understood that I needed to start acting more like a parent if I wanted her to see me as one. And I was a little proud of myself for not getting drunk, usually once I started I had a hard time stopping.

I got home around eleven-thirty and found my house empty. I didn't think too much of it because I had never given Bella a specific curfew; I just thought it was assumed that she should be home at a decent hour. I decided to wait up for her so turned on the TV and zoned out. It wasn't until SportsCenter started to rerun that I noticed the time. It was two in the fucking morning and Bella hadn't made it in yet.

So I called her. Three times. And each time it rang and then went to her voicemail.

I wasn't sure what to feel. Should I be worried or angry? I was pretty sure she was ok because I would have been the first to be notified if there was any kind of accident or whatever. But what the fuck was I supposed to do?

I started pacing around the living room, trying to think of the best course of action but I was so fucking out of my element I couldn't even think straight. I didn't know what the hell to think so I did something I really didn't want to do, I called Renee. I really wanted to leave her out of this for my pride's sake; the last thing I needed was for her to say "I told you so" but what else was I supposed to do? I figured of all people Renee would be the one to know what to do. A lot of help she was though, apparently her honeymoon took precedence over the well-being of her only child and she rushed me off the phone merely advising me to wait it out. She assured me Bella would show up eventually and that I had nothing to worry about because our daughter was too mature to get into any real trouble.

I was getting really fucking tired of people telling me to "wait it out".

I asked her what punishment I should enforce, seeing as how I had never had to do it before (and there was definitely going to be punishment) and she told me that it was my decision, that whatever I thought was fair would suffice. Shit, if it was up to me I would lock her up in her room until graduation like I had said earlier, but even I knew that was a little excessive. I ended up telling Renee to cancel Bella's cell phone service and that when I felt the time was right I would get her a new line under my name. I figured taking her phone away was a pretty good punishment. I know it would piss _me_ the hell off.

And then I fucking waited.

--

I sighed and checked the time again. The clock on the wall read eight o'clock in the morning. I checked my phone. No missed calls, no texts, and Bella still wasn't home. I dropped my head in my hands and rested my elbows on my knees. I was tired; I'd stayed up all night waiting for her.

I still couldn't believe that she would do this to me. I had given her the benefit of the doubt and put my trust in her, knowing I was leaving a big opening for trouble but hoping like hell that Bella wouldn't let me down. It didn't matter what the excuse was, there wasn't a good enough reason why she hadn't fucking called me by now. I thought maybe she had just stayed at the Brandon's but then why hadn't she answered her phone? All she had to do was ask and I would have been ok with it. Nothing I could think of made any sense and I was growing angrier and more worried by the minute.

As I was sitting there trying to get myself together, I finally heard the doorknob jiggle and a key scraping across the metal surface before the front door squeaked open. I listened as Bella closed the door and kicked her shoes off, hanging her coat up as quietly as I guess she thought she could. I was still sitting on the couch in the living room so she was going to have to pass me on her way to the stairs to get to her room. She came into view seconds later and she stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted me. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened as she obviously wasn't expecting me to be waiting for her.

An overwhelming sense of relief rushed through me when I saw her. Relief that quickly faded to fury as I stood up and strode over to her, stopping a foot in front of her. The cop in me took over as I assessed her appearance. Her clothes were disheveled a bit, her hair unkempt, her pupils were dilated and I could smell the alcohol on her. The anger intensified at the realization that she had been out there, somewhere, getting wasted while I was sitting at home worrying myself sick.

There were so many things I wanted to say to her, so much I wanted to know about last night, but at the same time I didn't. It would only make me that much more upset and it wouldn't turn out well for either of us if I went off on her.

Realizing that I was about three seconds away from losing my shit, I paused and took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I looked up at her when I thought it was safe to do so and she was still standing there in the foyer with her mouth hanging open, waiting for me to speak or yell or maybe throw something.

"You're fucking grounded," I informed her.

It didn't appear to shock her. Bella wasn't a dumb girl, I'm sure she knew the shit she pulled wouldn't go without consequence. She nodded and asked me for how long.

"Until I say otherwise," I clarified. I tried to keep my voice even as I began to question her, "Where were you?"

She dropped her head and started playing with the sleeve of her shirt. "I was with Alice."

I didn't believe her but I wanted to see how far she would take the lie so I asked another question, "Why didn't you call to tell me you were staying the night?"

She shrugged. "I didn't think about it?"

"You didn't think about it." It was more of a disbelieving statement than a question.

She shook her head no and tried to scurry up the stairs but I stepped in her way and she cowered back against the wall.

"You wanna tell me where you really were?" I asked through clenched teeth.

She just shook her head again, the movement causing a single, fat tear to slide down her cheek, leaving a glistening trail behind it. And just like that, my anger was gone; I hadn't meant to make her cry.

Feeling completely deflated, I sighed and I held out my hand to her, palm up. "Give me your phone."

She sniffled. "Why?"

"'Cause you're grounded with no phone and no internet. And I'll be driving you to school every morning and I'll pick you afterwards. When you get home you'll do your homework and your chores and then I want you in bed, lights out, by ten o'clock every night."

As I explained the terms of her grounding I watched as her expression shifted from sadness to shock and disbelief before finally going blank with acceptance. She nodded and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She looked down at it for a second before raising her eyes to meet mine. "Can I just call Alice real quick to let her know?"

I wanted to let her, I really did, but I'd already given her an inch and she'd taken a fucking mile. Fool me once shame on me… "No. You'll see her at school on Monday and you can tell her then."

She wiped her eyes again, causing my chest to constrict with the guilt I felt for having to do this to her. She handed me the phone hesitantly.

"I'm not gonna look through it, " I assured her. I really didn't want to know what was in it. Ignorance was bliss, after all.

"Can I go to my room now?" she asked, her bottom lip quivering a little.

I nodded and she bolted up the stairs. "Bella?" I called. She stopped halfway up and turned around to face me. We stared at each other for a beat but I couldn't even look at her as I started to speak. "I'm really disappointed in you. I thought… I thought you were better than this shit," I said thickly, the lump in my throat making it hard to speak. When I looked up she was already in her room, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

Yeah. I sucked at life.

**EPOV**

Her skin was so soft.

I ran my fingers up and down Bella's arm slowly as not to wake her, marveling at its smoothness. She smelled fucking incredible too and it made me wonder what kind of lotion she used – if she even used any, for all I knew that was just her natural Bella smell. We were still spooning, her back pressed firmly against my chest and I fucking loved the way it felt, being so close to her, feeling her warmth radiating under the covers.

Being so close to Bella had its downsides though and my dick wasn't a very happy camper right now. In fact, he was quite angry with me for having this beautiful-as-fuck girl in my bed and not even attempting to get into her pants. I had wanted to last night – God, how I had wanted to, but I didn't want Bella to think that I was only after her pussy and I needed to show her that I was in it for more. I even tried as hard as I could keep my dick from pressing into her back as we lay together but throughout the night we had inched closer together until her back was flush against my chest, her ass pressed firmly against my crotch. Yeah, waking up had been a bitch; I usually had morning wood but I don't think I'd ever been so hard in my life. I ignored it as best as I could though, as there was nothing I could do about it at the moment.

Part of me still couldn't believe that last night had happened. I really didn't intend for shit to go down the way it had, I had even tried to pussy out and just stay in my room all night but fucking Rosalie and her evil, woman trickery had managed to coax me into joining the party. As soon as I spotted Bella in the kitchen, smiling and talking with my brother, I knew that I had to talk to her and set things right because even though I thought I couldn't have her the way I wanted, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away from her and at the very least we could be friends. But I didn't want to talk to her around a bunch of people I really didn't give a shit about so I asked her to sneak off with me and she agreed.

Taking some alcohol with me had been a fucking brilliant idea; without it I would never have had the balls to tell her all the shit I had. I told her how I really felt, I confessed to her my insecurities, and I told her everything I could think of that should have pushed her away and she just stood there and told me it didn't matter, that she didn't care about all the negative things.

Then she touched me and I felt that fucking pull again but this time there was no hesitation, from either of us. I had taken her face in my hand and she had blushed and I thought it was cute as hell that I could elicit such a response from her by merely touching her cheek. At that point we both knew where we wanted to go so I leaned in far enough to show my intentions but I left enough room for her to back out. She hadn't.

Kissing Bella was something I could do for years and never grow tired of it. I had never been much for kissing and affection but with Bella it was different, it felt right, it felt like home, and - I'm not gonna lie - it felt really fucking _good_. I had thought pulling her on top of me was probably a bad idea, but I'm a reckless motherfucker so I did it anyway. I just needed to feel her body against me, needed to feel the weight of her on my lap, but mostly I just needed to be closer to her. The feeling was foreign to me; I had never desired any girl so badly in my life, the need was so desperate and consuming that it kind scared the shit out of me. It was weird. But I liked it. And I would have been ok, I think I could have controlled myself… but then I had slipped my hand under her shirt a little to touch her bare skin and she lost control. I felt it, I literally felt the switch flip within her as she came undone and let the sensation overtake her self-control. She threw herself at me, wrapping me up in her arms and burrowing her fingers into my hair. Then there was the writhing, also known as _my_ undoing. I'd had to pull away or I would have spun us around, thrown her down on the bed and taken her right then and there. Not that that would have been a bad thing but, like I said, I didn't want it to be about that… not yet anyway.

I'd gotten so lost in her that I'd forgotten I was in the middle of making a point. It didn't matter though, it was moot anyway.

She had me.

And she knew it, just like I knew I had her. Give and take, I guess.

We rejoined the party after Emmett walked in on us and we spent the rest of the night drinking ourselves stupid. There were a lot of really drunk people around and I didn't want anyone fucking with Bella so I kept her close to me. I tried not to be too overbearing though. I kept an eye on how much she was drinking too- from my count she'd had about four shots of Jager by the time we left my room and she was fairly inebriated by then, so I may or may not have hidden a couple of her drinks after that. I held back a little myself; I knew Emmett was blistered and one of us had to be at least half way coherent to keep watch over the party and make sure no one did anything stupid like break shit or start a fight.

Once everyone had filtered out, leaving behind what I could tell was going to be a bitch of a clean-up, Jasper pulled out the weed he had been holding and smoked us out… as if we needed it. The weed sent us all over the edge and once the blunt was done we were all ready for bed. Emmett and Rosalie passed out in the kitchen while Jasper and Alice took the guest room on the second floor.

I'll admit, I was half nervous and half excited as shit about Bella sleeping in my bed, which is why I offered to stay with her in the living room. I didn't want to be presumptuous and assume she'd be ok with sleeping with me so soon, but she smashed the living room idea real quick and it made me feel a whole lot better about the situation. I had even given her the loosest fitting clothes I could find so I wouldn't be so tempted to do anything, but when she walked out of my bathroom the sight of her in my clothes did nothing to help me… at all. I did notice, however, that she eye-fucked the shit out of me before she crawled into bed and it made me feel a shit load better knowing I wasn't the only one hurting. I had wrapped Bella up in my arms right away and we mumbled a conversation for a while before she drifted off, rolling over on her side and nestling into my good pillow. I wanted to hold her so I settled in behind her and draped my arm over her waist and I feel asleep quickly.

I was grateful I woke up before she did so I could watch her sleep for a while and just enjoy having her in my arms for a bit. Bella looked so beautiful as she slept, her hair was splayed out over the pillow and her lips were parted slightly as she breathed deeply and evenly. I moved my hand further up on her arm as I continued to caress her and my fingers slipped under the sleeve of my t-shirt that she was wearing. It must have tickled her or something because she squirmed in her sleep a bit. I pulled my hand back immediately, not wanting to disturb her but it was too late and she stirred some more before her eyes finally fluttered open. I propped myself up on my elbow as she craned her neck to look back at me.

I smiled at her. "Hey. I didn't mean to wake you; I just couldn't keep my hands off you," I chuckled the last part.

She grinned at me groggily. "Figures," she mumbled.

I chuckled and leaned down to kiss her. She lifted her head to meet me and as our lips touched I couldn't stop my hips from pressing forward, seeking the friction my almost painful erection craved. Bella didn't pull away from me, thankfully. Instead she rolled over and pressed herself against me, causing me to groan into her mouth as she weaved her fingers in my hair and pulled me closer. Our tongues were just beginning to mingle when my door burst open, forcing Bella and me to end our kiss prematurely.

Again.

Seriously? What the fuck?

"Bella, get up!" Alice screeched as she busted into my room, rousing Jake who started howling at the unwelcome intruder. "We have to go!" She was freaking out and from the looks of it probably still drunk from last night. Jasper was right behind her looking like the fucking walking dead, a lit blunt dangling from his lips as he watched Alice storm into my room. The bastard didn't even try to stop her.

Bella pulled away from me with a gasp and shot out of bed, grabbing her clothes and running into my bathroom to change. I was confused. What was with the rush?

Jake was still howling away which wasn't doing much to help the pandemonium of the situation so I shushed him and he quieted immediately, thankfully.

"What the fuck, Alice? What's going on?" I asked as I sat up, grabbing my head as it finally started to pound. I knew I was going to be hung over but I had yet to feel the effect of it until I sat up.

"Me and Bella were supposed to go home last night," Alice explained, "but I fucking forgot. My parents are going to be so pissed!" She plopped down on the foot of my bed and rested her head in her hands. "And I'm still so fucking drunk it isn't even funny."

Jasper pushed off the door frame where he had been leaning and walked over to her. He offered her the blunt. "Here, take a hit. You'll feel better, baby."

She shook her head no. Jazz shrugged and walked over to my side of the bed, taking a hit and holding it in as he approached. "Hit this shit, bitch," he demanded, exhaling the smoke in my face as he handed me the blunt. Big mistake. As he leaned in to blow the smoke in my face he gave me a clear shot at his ribs so I pivoted around and punched him on his side, right under the armpit. He doubled over and cried out in pain grabbing at his ribcage as he held on to the edge of the bed for support. It was retaliation for a nut-check from the previous week.

"We're even now, motherfucker," I said as I swung my feet over the edge of the bed, flinging the covers off of me and took a deep pull and held it in, savoring the feeling of the smoke coating my lungs. Weed: the perfect hangover remedy.

"Fuck you," was his tasteful response as I passed the blunt back to him with a smirk.

Bella rushed out of the bathroom, hopping around as she slipped her Chucks on and stumbled over to the bed. I reached for her hips and settled her between my legs, pulling her as close to me as I could get her as she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.

"Bella…" Alice chided, and Bella pulled away a little too quickly for my liking so I wrapped my arms around her waist, immobilizing her.

"I have to go," she mumbled against my lips as she tried to push off of me but I continued to kiss her. "Charlie's probably waiting."

I hadn't really processed the thought that Bella was probably supposed to have gone home last night and she was probably in a lot of fucking trouble. And as much as I wanted her to stay with me a little longer, I knew she had to go. So I pulled back and loosened my grip on her waist.

"You're right," I said as I gave her one last chaste kiss and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. "Just call me later and let me know what happened," I continued as I traced the shell of her ear with my finger.

She smiled sheepishly at me. "I'm gonna need your number to do that."

Well, shit. "Yeah, I guess we skipped that part, huh?" I chuckled. "You can get it from Alice on your way home. You better go now though before she has a panic attack."

Bella smiled and pressed her forehead to mine before slipping off with Alice. Fucking cock-blocking Alice.

After they were out of sight Jasper came and sat down next to me and passed me the blunt again.

"You been downstairs yet?" he asked.

"No. I bet it's a fucking disaster area down there though." I looked over at him as a passed the blunt back. "Have you seen it yet?"

He shook his head. "Not since last night." He hit the blunt deeply. "So I'm guessin' shit worked out with Bella?"

I smiled. "Yup."

"So are you guys, like, together or some shit?"

I nodded. "Guess so. There's still some shit to work out though."

"Did you guys fuck?" I was pretty sure that was the question he wanted to ask first.

I chuckled. "Not yet." Because, really, it was only a matter of time. I'd be patient of course, if that's what Bella wanted, but sooner or later…

"What, she didn't let you?"

I scoffed, annoyed. He wasn't going to let it go until I gave him some juicy details. I swear, for all the shit he talked about Alice, he was just as big of a gossip. "Actually, I didn't try. I didn't want to scare her away," I admitted.

He pursed his lips and nodded. "So you like, really like her then." It was more of a statement than a question but I nodded in agreement anyway. "Aw, that's fuckin' cute, man," he teased, a huge shit eating grin on his smug ass face.

I shoved his shoulder. "Fuck you, man," I said lightheartedly, honestly a little embarrassed.

Jasper laughed and dropped the roach in a cup of water I had left out on my nightstand before he stood up and stretched, twisting his torso around almost violently to pop his back.

I was feeling really lazy as a result of the weed and the hangover and I didn't feel like cleaning shit so I stalled by telling Jazz I was going to shower first. He went downstairs to wake Rose and Em as I staggered into my bathroom.

I hopped in the shower and turned the water as hot as I could bear it, feeling instantly better as the heat loosened my tense muscles. I lathered up my hand and my dick and started stroking it to thoughts of Bella and the way her little body had fit so fucking perfectly against mine and the way she had pressed herself against me, all anxious and desperate. It didn't take long before I was jerking myself almost violently, finally exploding as I pressed my forehead against the cool tile of the shower wall. It usually took me about fifteen minutes to cum when I masturbated; I liked to take my time and enjoy myself as much as possible considering the fact that I was pretty much fucking my own hand. But after suffering through a bad case of blue balls upon rejoining the party last night and sleeping with a fucking hard on all night while Bella's ass was right-fucking-there, I wasn't surprised it only took me a couple of minutes.

I finished showering and dried myself off, putting on a pair of sweats and a black t-shirt before I let Jake out of his kennel and led him downstairs. I avoided looking around at the mess for a moment as I let him out in the backyard and fed him, deciding to let him roam around the yard so he could chase birds or dig holes or some shit while we cleaned up the house.

I walked into the living to find Rosalie passed out on the sofa, the old afghan my mom loved hanging half off of her. I chuckled at the site: Rosalie, usually so composed and well put together, now just sprawled out and disheveled. I left her to sleep for a bit longer as I checked out the rest of the first floor. I didn't really need to check the second and third as no one was allowed up there but I'd have to give it a once over just in case. The living room wasn't too bad (luckily we had removed most of the furniture to make room so people could dance and shit) and the den wasn't in too bad a state either aside from all the trash. I was starting to think it wasn't going to be as bad as I had originally thought… but then I walked into the kitchen. Cups, bottles, trash, food, and just fucking _everything_ was all over the floor. I ran my hands through my hair as I shook my head. There was no way in hell I was cleaning this shit up. No fucking way.

I panned the fucking landfill for my brother but he wasn't there. I looked around the house and finally spotted Emmett rounding the corner from the foyer, leaning on the wall for support and fastening his belt as he came into the kitchen.

"Dude," he said as he rubbed his face with his hands. "What the fuck happened last night?"

"What, you don't remember?" I asked as I grabbed some trash bags from under the sink.

"Fuck no. I can't remember shit after we took those shots of Jager when Bella got here." He plopped his ass in one of the stools by the island and laid his head on his arms.

"Dude, that was before midnight. How much did you fucking drink?" I couldn't believe that shit. He'd blacked out for, like, five fucking hours.

"I don't fucking know, man. Did Bella have a good time at least? When did she leave?"

I smirked. Emmett had taken quite a liking to Bella, and if I didn't know that he was in love with Rosalie I would think he had a thing for her. "She just left like fifteen minutes ago."

His head shot up and he stared at me. "She stayed the night?"

"Yeah," I affirmed as I took a seat on the stool across from him.

"With you?" he probed, suddenly much more alert.

"Yeah. You don't remember walking in on us last night?"

"Oh, God, what did I walk in on?" He sounded almost frightened.

I laughed. "Nothing, we were just making out." I spaced out a bit as I started replaying everything that had happened with Bella, the kissing and the touching and the moaning… I shook my head to clear my thoughts because we had some serious cleaning up to do and I could think about that shit later.

"Is that all that happened?" He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

I couldn't help but chuckled. I had a feeling I was going to be answering that question a lot in the near future. "All we did was cuddle and sleep. It was nice," I clarified as I shrugged because it _was_ fucking nice and I hadn't expecting anything more from her anyway. Well, not really. And I didn't really give a shit if they thought I was a pussy for not trying to fuck Bella yet. I mean, shit, maybe she wasn't that kind of girl. Granted, I could see why they would think what they were thinking, considering the girls I usually went for. Thankfully, they let it be and didn't bring it up again.

The clean up wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Emmett didn't want to wake Rose so it was just us guys picking up all the fucking cups and beer bottles but it went by quickly. I left Em and Jasper to finish up since the whole party had been their idea in the first place. And I was a lazy fuck and they both knew it.

I trudged up to my room with Jake on my heels, fresh from his free time outside, and flopped down on my bed. I waited for Bella to call or text me but when it approached noon and I still hadn't heard from her and I started to get a little worried.

I was still tired, having only gotten like three hours of sleep, and was drifting off when I heard my phone vibrate. I reached over and grabbed my phone off my bedside table, checking the display which informed me I had a message from a number that wasn't in my contacts. Assuming it was from Bella I opened it with excitement- until I read the whole thing and then I was just straight-up upset.

The text read: _**Hey, it's Bella. Charlie caught me sneaking in so he grounded me and took my phone away. He's passed out so I stole it 2 text u so u wouldn't worry. I'm fine (hung over and missing u, but fine). Don't reply to this. See u Monday. **_

Motherfuck me. She was grounded?! For how fucking long? And the bastard took her phone? What kind of bullshit was that?

I wanted nothing more than to text her back and get some answers but I couldn't, and it killed me all weekend. I thought of nothing but Bella most of the time and I didn't have any way of getting in touch with her. Alice had received a similar text and was just as upset as I was. Even Emmett was distressed.

It was a long ass weekend for all of us.

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**A/N**

**There it is. Hope you all liked it :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**

**I tried to get this our for the Reader Appreciation Day but I suck at time management so that didn't happen. It's all good though, just know that I do appreciate each and every one of you who takes the time to read this and especially to those of you who review, you guys really are my motivation, all those kind words go a long way**. **Thank you.**

**Ok, there is a smut warning for this chapter. It's my first time... might be kind of... not good lol. So, um, yeah, I hope you like it.**

**Gracias to my beta THEsnapcrakklepop for her hard work. I'm always nervous opening the edited document, but once I read her little intro I get all giggly and shit, she's amazing.**

**Enjoy  
**

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**BPOV**

Time passed so slowly that weekend. Charlie and I didn't speak to each other; we just existed in a constant state of awkward silence. Other than that one time, I didn't get the opportunity to use my phone so I spent the whole weekend in my room, only leaving for the necessities. My time with my friends was limited to however often I could see them at school, which was really only in class and during lunch. I came home frustrated every day and avoided Charlie as much as possible. I pretended not to notice his pained expression every time he tried to strike up a conversation with me and I would just walk away from him. He stopped trying on Wednesday.

And then there was Edward. It was difficult making our relationship work when I was so tightly restricted and, ironically, now that I was locked up Edward was free to roam about as he pleased. His parents hadn't found out about the party, and they had revoked his punishment and returned him his car. He was too cute sometimes, always trying to squeeze in as much time with me as he could. He met me by the front doors in the mornings and walked me to homeroom, then throughout the day he'd find in me the halls between classes even though his were on the other side of the building. Mr. Banner had finally found work for us to do in Bio, so lunch was the only significant amount of time we had together and even that was strained as I tried to get in enough time with everyone else to offset my time alone at home.

Edward was getting restless, I could tell. As the week progressed he found more and more ways to steal my attention at the lunch table, and he found ways to prolong our conversations in the hallways until just before the bell rang. Not going to lie, I was getting pretty restless myself. But although our physical relationship was stuck on pause, our emotional connection was thriving. Edward had endless questions regarding every aspect of my life and sometimes I had trouble giving him answers because I'd never had someone so interested in knowing all the little details of my life and thus had never been faced with the challenge of expressing my thoughts verbally. For me it was hard to describe a feeling or an instinct or a reason why, to me it just _was_ and I tried my hardest not to give two-word answers but I failed often. Edward wasn't much of a talker himself and appeared to have even more trouble than I did sometimes which made me feel better.

It was Friday night and I was sitting in my room doing homework. It had been week since the "incident" and I still wasn't speaking to Charlie, so I was surprised when I heard a knock on my door and he stepped cautiously into my room. He was dressed casually in a pair of worn jeans, a flannel shirt, and a pair of boots.

"Um, Bella?" he called from the doorway.

"Yes?" I kept my attention on the Calculus problem on my worksheet.

"I'm, uh, I'm going out for a bit. I'll be home around midnight." He walked over to my bed and extended a twenty dollar bill to me. "Here's some money if you want to order a pizza or something later on."

I took the money from him and gave him a little smile; it was kind of sweet of him, considering I had been ignoring him all week. "Thanks."

I turned back to my homework but he continued to hover by my bed so I looked back up at him. He had this real deep-in-thought look on his face.

"Can we talk, Bella? Please?"

"Uh… Ok?"

He gestured to the edge of my bed with a raised eyebrow and I nodded in affirmation before he sat down.

He started with a deep sigh. "Things have been kinda tense around here this week, huh?" I nodded again. "Well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, Bella. I know you think I'm being excessive but you need to know that what you did really upset me. I had no idea where you were or what you were doing. I mean you were drunk, right?"

I could have denied it but he knew the truth and there was no point. I nodded once more.

"That's what I thought. And that by itself was enough reason to ground you." He leaned his head back and looked up at the ceiling, sighing once more. "But you've been really good this week so… here. You can have this back."He pulled my cell phone out of his breast pocket and handed it out to me. I took it from him, smiling like an idiot. He smiled back. "Aaaand I guess if you want to you can start riding to school with Alice again."

"Really?!"

He chuckled at my excitement; I could barely contain myself. "Yes, really. But there are still some restrictions: your new curfew is six o'clock on weekdays and nine on the weekends. Cool?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

I scoffed, was that really a question? "Very cool. Does this mean I can go out tonight?" I asked expectantly, my fingers already bringing up Alice's number on my phone.

"Be home by nine?" he asked as he stood up.

"Eight-fifty-nine."

He chuckled and tousled my hair before walking towards the door. "Have fun, kid." He left then and I called Alice.

"Bella?!" she answered in what I would describe as a squeal.

"Yeah. Charlie gave me phone back."

"That's fucking awesome, Bella. What happened?"

I told her everything that went down.

"That's great, you get to hang out after school now! Although I'm pretty sure now that Edward has his car back he'll want to be driving you around himself. Not that that's the best idea, all things considered, but that boy never listens to reason."

I laughed as Alice rambled on.

"I mean really, you think he'd learn after a while but he's just one of those stubborn dogs that keep trying to get by the electric fence."

"What are you doing tonight, Al?" I asked, trying to distract her.

"Jasper's taking me out to the movies. It's his turn to pick and he wants to see that new Scorsese movie."

"Is that the one with Leo?"

"Mm, yes, eye candy. It's really the only reason I agreed so easily, that man is still sexy as fuck and he only gets better with age."

"Don't they all?" I chuckled. "Alright, well I know you have to get ready for your date and I need to give Edward the good news."

"Careful, he might blow his load over the phone when you tell him you're semi-free." Well, apparently I wasn't the only one who had noticed that Edward was a little sexually frustrated.

"Please, Alice, he's not that bad."

"I'm serious! He practically dry humps you during lunch. Are you seriously telling me you haven't noticed?"

I felt myself blushing and decided the best course of action was to just end the conversation. "Ok, Alice, go get ready and tell Jasper I said hi."

"Alright, alright, you can pretend to be all shy if you want to, but don't think I don't remember what I saw when I walked in th-"

"Bye, Alice!" I heard her laughing as I hung up on her.

I put away my homework, deciding to leave it for Sunday, and cleared off my bed before I called Edward.

"What the fuck? Bella?" his voice was all velvet and smooth eve in confusion.

"Well hello to you too, Edward," I chuckled.

"Hi. Uh, wha… how… does… what the fuck, Bella?"

The poor thing, he had no idea what was going on. I was also pretty sure he was high as a kite. Not that I minded, Edward was Edward whether he was high or not.

"Charlie gave me my phone back," I explained.

"Oh. That's fucking awesome, baby. What did he say?" I felt myself blush, he didn't call me "baby" often and I kind of really liked when he did. I felt like I needed a cute pet name for him too.

"I'm not on lockdown anymore but I have to be home by six on school nights and nine on weekends."

"Shit, I'll take it. So do you wanna ride with me to school in the morning?"

I stifled a laugh. That boy and his car. "I would love to but I thought you were scared of my dad."

He barked a laugh. "I'm not _scared_ of your dad, Bella. Just cautious; he's got it out for me, remember?"

I rolled my eyes. I hadn't heard my dad mention Edward's name once since I'd moved in with him. "So you say."

"You don't have to believe me, just ask him. Better yet, just mention my name in passing and see if he doesn't flip out."

"Ok, it is possible that he doesn't like you but that doesn't mean he has it out for you," I reasoned.

"Can we stop talking about your dad?" He was losing and he knew it, that's why he wanted to change subjects. I swear, he was so easy to read sometimes.

"Please. So what do you wanna talk about then?"

There was a pause. "What are you wearing?"

I laughed. I thought guys only said such things in movies. "Really, Edward?"

"I'm serious. Tell me. I'm just sitting here in my boxers right now."

Mm, mental image overload. Edward in his boxers. I found myself subconsciously biting my lip.

"You're crazy."

"Granted. Now tell me."

I stayed silent; I wasn't going to play his little game.

He sighed after a while when he realized I wasn't going to answer. "Am I going to have to go over there and find out for myself?"

Ooh, now there was an idea. "Well, Charlie's not here. He said he won't be back until midnight." I was subtly challenging him, not believing for a second that he had the balls to actually do it.

"I'm on my way," he said after a beat of silence and then my phone beeped as the line went dead.

Oh Fuck.

**EPOV**

I hung up the phone and ran into my bathroom and took a quick shower, and when I say quick I mean just that, I wasn't even in there long enough for the water to warm up. I put Jake in his kennel and threw on a worn pair of jeans, a long sleeved thermal and my hat and then flew down the stairs.

I was half way to the door when my mom called me over from the living room where she and my dad were watching TV. I paused and noted their intimate position on the couch; his head was in her lap as she absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair. It was rare to see them in such a state, my dad worked so much I hardly ever saw him but even though he worked crazy as shit hours he and my mom still managed to maintain a very healthy marriage. I guess they kept that shit in the bed room. Thank God for small favors.

"Yes?" I asked as I leaned in the archway.

"Where are you running off to in such a hurry?" She asked as she eyed me suspiciously. Her tone caused my dad to lift his head to look me over as well and I tried not to make it obvious that I was about to lie my ass off.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm gonna go hang out with Jazz." I had to lie; Carlisle knew the chief and I didn't want any of them to know about me and Bella just yet, if ever.

"Ok," she said and her eyes lingered on me for a moment before she turned her attention back to the TV. "Be home early, please."

"Yeah," was my simple reply as I pushed off the wall and headed out the door.

I got in my car and sped off toward Bella's house feeling nervous as shit but enjoying it thoroughly; in all honesty I kind of liked the rush of adrenaline I got from knowing the danger of the situation. I could only image what would happen if the chief were to come home early because I was totally planning on getting to at least second with Bella tonight, maybe even third if she'd let me and I was pretty sure if I tried my best I could get there. I knew it wasn't going to be easy as Bella had turned down most of my advances the past week. I figured that she was one of those girls who made you earn it. Or maybe just because we were around people all the goddamned time and she just wasn't a PDA kind of girl, which I highly doubted because _all_ girls fucking loved PDA regardless of what they said. I was never a fan of it myself, never really seeing the point, and the only reason I had been doing it in the first place was because the only fucking time I got to see her was during school, which was the biggest fucking bitch shit ever. But I did find it a little weird that it turned me on, the chase that is. I'd never been into it and usually stayed away from girls like that, shit, if anything it was the other way around; I was usually the one being chased after. And being at the other end of the spectrum was kind of nice, not gonna lie; I liked that I was going to have to work for it, that I was going to have to wear her down before she gave me what I wanted. Besides, I knew she was down for some messing around- that night barely a week ago was proof that my girl was more willing than she let on.

I couldn't wait; I was getting hard purely from the anticipation of what might happen. Fuck, maybe I should have jacked it before I left the house.

When I got to Bella's house it was dark expect for a window on the second floor. The chief's cruiser was nowhere to be seen but I parked a couple of houses down just in case. I jogged up to the front porch and rang the doorbell. Bella took a while to answer the door and I hadn't thought to bring my jacket even though it was fucking subarctic outside and I started shivering so hard I could put a vibrator to shame. She finally came to the door but only opened it a little, a rush of warm air filtering out over me.

"That was fast," she teased, a little smirk playing at her lips.

I rolled my eyes, annoyed and a little amused. "Ha-fuckin'-ha. Let me in; I'm freezing my balls off out here."

She laughed and stepped aside to let me in. I'd never been inside the chief's house so I took a minute to look around. It was definitely a dude's house, lots of clutter, dark tones, no pictures or knick-knacks lying about.

"Come on," she said, breaking my concentration. She grabbed my hand and led me upstairs to her bedroom. As we ascended the stairs I got in a good look at her ass which swayed beautifully in front of my face as she led the way. It didn't hurt matters any that she was wearing these tiny little shorts that barely covered her ass and a wife beater so tight I was pretty sure it was from the kid's section of whatever store she bought it from. Not that I was complaining, I actually kind of liked that she was comfortable enough to keep her lounging-at-home-clothes on in front of me, although she looked so goddamned sexy I had to fight the urge to reach up and grope her ass as we made our way up the stairs.

Bella showed me around a bit, pointing out the chief's room and the bathroom they shared before finally towing me toward her door. Her room was small – well smaller than mine anyway – but quaint. But as I looked around I noticed the room was devoid of anything Bella-like and I looked at her with a raised eyebrow, questioning.

She looked down and smiled sheepishly at me from under her lashes. God, she was fucking cute. Yeah, I said it again - cute.

"Haven't really settled in yet," she admitted bashfully.

"I can tell." I looked around at her barren walls, calculating. I was going to buy her some posters of her favorite bands; no one's room should be so empty. I walked over to her window and peered down at the ground below, assessing ways I could sneak in through it later. There was no way to climb up the side but there was a tree right outside that had a limb running mostly parallel to the house that I was pretty sure would hold my weight.

"I know what you're thinking," she accused, breaking my concentration yet again.

I smirked at her. "And what's that?"

"You're trying to figure out the easiest way to climb up here," she said matter-of-factly.

"Hmm." She was quick. "Well, would you be opposed to that idea?" I asked slyly as I moved toward her. She tried to back away from me but she wasn't exactly mindful of where she was in relation to her bed so when she stepped back the back of her knees hit the edge and she plopped down on it.

I saw the opportunity and pounced on her, placing my hands on either side of her on the bed and then leaning down to plant a firm kiss on her soft lips. The position we were in, plus the force of my kiss, caused her to lean back on the bed so much that she had to place her hands behind her, near mine, to hold herself up. I pushed harder, wanting her to scoot back on the bed so I could join her and maybe get her to lay down so I could hover over her.

But that didn't happen. Instead, she placed her hands on my chest and pushed me back. I relented instantly, not wanting to be too aggressive. I rested my forehead on hers and whispered, "Why?"

She shook just shook her head.

"What? No one's here, it's not like someone is going to barge in like before." I kissed her again, this time a little softer and felt her relax a little. Her lips were soft and warm and she tasted so fucking good, like something fruity… maybe peaches? I brought my right hand up and ran my thumb over her cheek softly as I kissed her. Her hands came up, seeking residence in my hair but my cap was in the way so she shoved it aside like she did last night and it fell to the floor with a quiet clap. She threaded her little fingers in my hair and I may have whimpered just a little bit at the feel of it. Then I felt her tongue as she licked along the length of my bottom lip and I was about to flick my own out to meet hers but she pulled away again before I could. I growled at the loss of contact.

The little tease.

"You're gonna get me in so much trouble," she whispered as she played with the hair at the nape of my neck, sending chills down my spine.

"Well, fuck, baby, I haven't been able to be with you like this all week. Do you have idea how hard it's been for me?" As soon as the words left my mouth I realized how they sounded and I couldn't help but laugh. I looked down at her and she was giggling a little too. "Ok. I didn't mean it like that but you know what I was trying to say."

"I know and it's ok; I've missed you too." She fisted her fingers in my hair and pulled me down so that she could kiss me. I let her set the pace as I grabbed her waist and pushed her back a little, still wanting to be on the bed with her. She gave in this time and scooted back on the bed enough that I could get my knees up on it.

I hovered over her as her hands began to wander under my shirt, her little fingers caressing my back and sides. Her hands felt fucking amazing and I couldn't help moaning and groaning like a little bitch every time she passed a sensitive spot on my skin. I wanted her to touch more of me so I broke away from her lips long enough to tug my shirt off and throw it in the corner. When I went to settle back over her she put her hands on my chest and stopped me. I settled back on my knees and looked at her with a furrowed brow; did she want me to stop? Maybe losing the shirt had been a bad idea.

"Do you want me to put my shirt back on?" I asked.

She shook her head quickly. "No, no. It's not that. I-I just," she struggled, biting on her bottom lip again. "I wanted to look at you," she whispered, her cheeks turning a deep crimson at her admission.

I raised an eyebrow. I guess. I mean, I wasn't the most ripped motherfucker on the planet, I didn't have any real definition in my abs, if anything I was getting a little soft in the gut (probably the only bad side effect of all the weed I'd been smoking unfortunately) but I was kind of proud of my Pecs… they were sexy, I thought.

Bella got this curious look on her face before she placed her hands over my chest, I guess to feel the muscles there. They didn't stay put very long and began to wander over my torso as she ran her fingers along the trail of fine hair. I felt self-conscious for a second as I remembered that some girls found body hair unattractive and I hoped like hell that Bella wasn't repulsed by it. But I guess she didn't mind since she just kept playing with it, running her fingers over it lightly… slowly. I shivered as the feeling sent chills down my spine; it felt so fucking good to be caressed like that. I closed my eyes as she made her way down my happy trail, my abdomen muscles tensing automatically as she reached the waistband of my boxers.

Fuck.

I was hard, straining against my jeans and I was growing desperate for some friction. I knew she could see it; I wasn't small by any means and I was… so fucking hard. I wanted her to keep going, just… even if she just brushed against it. God, I just wanted her to touch it.

She didn't. Instead she leaned up to wrap her arms around my neck, pulling me back down on the bed with her. I guess I was going to have to work a little harder to get _there_.

She welcomed my tongue into her mouth and let me dominate the interaction. My hands took on a mind of their own and I touched her everywhere I could reach, her thighs, her hips, and her especially waist. I pushed her shirt up a little to give me unmitigated access to her stomach and I rubbed small circles on the soft skin there until she was squirming and writhing under me. God, the writhing. It was getting to me and I had to break away from her lips, finding her neck again, breathing her in for a moment before I let my tongue travel from her collarbone to her ear. And that got her fucking _mewing_ and whimpering so I kept going, licking along the shell of her ear and sucking and nibbling on her earlobe.

"Oh God, Edward," she murmured in my ear. I groaned in response against her neck and started licking there, letting my tongue slide across her skin, not sucking or biting, just gliding. Her hands were in my hair again, holding me close to her, keeping me where she wanted me. "Please…"

"'Please' what, baby?" I asked against her flesh.

"Bite me?" she whispered.

"Fuckin' shit," I rasped. I fucking loved to bite and I did as she asked, biting down on her neck softly, not wanting to leave any marks. Well, I did want to mark her but I knew I couldn't so I refrained. She was fucking loving it, grinding herself against my dick, searching for her own relief and damn near purring in my ear. God, this shit was so fucking hot. Fuck it, I was gonna fucking bite her, I had to, I wanted to. I moved my lips to her shoulder and really bit down, hard. She cried out and tugged my hair, grinding harder against me. I fucking growled, relishing the mixture of pain and pleasure. I kissed the spot I had just bitten and moved lower on her chest, right above her left breast and bit down again, adding suction this time. I kissed my way up her neck, over her chin until I reached her lips, kissing her fiercely as I slowly ground my hips against her. She broke away and started kissing along my jaw, her little hand coming up to rub over the stubble I hadn't shaved away in a couple of days before pushing my cheek to the side and leaning up to bite me in return.

That fucking did it. I lost a little control then, fucking growling loudly and reaching up to grab one of her tits a little more roughly than I had intended but, again, she didn't stop me or give any indication that I was crossing a line so I kept going. I groped her like a man possessed, squeezing her tits until she moaned in protest; again she didn't stop me so I kept going.

I needed to feel her bare skin in my palm so using both of my hands I and pulled both her wife beater and the top of her bra down until her tits popped out. I couldn't see them and that was a fucking shame but I wasn't about to pull away just to look, just feeling them was more than enough for me. I covered her tits with my hands and we both moaned at the feel. God they were perfect handfuls, all soft and full and firm. I felt for her nipples, rubbing my thumbs over them softly, wanting them in my mouth.

I grabbed the bottom of her wife beater and pulled up gently, trying to convey to her that it was a choice and not a demand. She didn't resist thankfully, allowing me to pull the shirt over her head, taking her bra with it until she was shirtless like me, laid out in front of me, vulnerable and open. I looked at her and she was fucking beautiful, all soft curves and perfect. Her tits were fucking mouthwatering. I looked into her eyes and I could see the insecurity there, the worry that I was judging her. I smiled softly at her before leaning down to kiss her again, trying to prove her without using words that she probably wouldn't believe anyway how perfect she was. Because even if she wasn't a fucking supermodel I didn't give a shit; she was perfect for me, she was exactly everything I wanted and she didn't need to worry. Plus, I wasn't a prize either, I smoked too much and therefore ate too much and I was a few pounds heavier than I wanted to be but I knew by the way she had looked at me earlier that I was perfect in her eyes and that's all that mattered.

The feel of her skin against mine, chest to chest as I moved my hands to knot in her hair, was almost more than I could bear and I was already hanging on to my sanity by a thread. We were both moaning and groaning loudly as we practically assaulted each other with our mouths, drying humping the shit out of each other. I tried to keep a rhythm and a position that she seemed to enjoy but it was growing more difficult with each thrust to keep myself in control.

She was driving me fucking crazy, giving me more than I expected but not nearly enough. All the touching and kissing was killing me. I wanted more. I wanted her. Fucking bad. Like, if she let me fuck her right now I wouldn't last more than a minute bad. Speaking of which…

Surprised I could still form a coherent thought I stilled my hips and moved my mouth away from her lips, instead kissing along the hollow of her shoulder.

"Not that I'm trying to ruin the moment or anything, but can I ask you something?" I murmured against her skin.

"Hmm?"

I looked into her big brown eyes and I noticed that her pupils were more than a little dilated. I smirked, very proud of myself. "I was just wondering – and not that it matters either way – but… well… are you… has anyone… " Jesus fuck, I couldn't figure out how to phrase my question. She was looking at me all expectant and shit so I just decided to flat out ask her. "Have you ever been with anyone?"

I didn't really know what to expect her reaction to be so I was a little worried that she might be offended, but she wasn't- she just smiled sweetly up at me and shook her head.

"Never?" I asked, fucking elated that the answer was in the negative. That meant I could be her first. That meant she must be tight as fuck. Shit, I thought I wanted her before…

"Never," she assured me. "You're the only guy I've ever even made out with."

Wait. What?

"I mean I've kissed before but never like this," she clarified.

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say. "Do you like this… what we're doing? It's not too fast for you?" I really fucking hoped she wasn't just messing around with me because _I_ wanted to.

"If I wanted you to stop I would have told you so or pushed you off." She smiled.

"Ha! Like you could."

"You don't think so?" she asked, a brow raised in question.

I chuckled. "You seriously think you could?"

"Oh I know I can." She tried to push me off of her but she couldn't even get her hands in between us to do it. I laughed as she grunted and struggled to shimmy out from under me but it was impossible.

"You done yet?" I asked as I started tickling her, pressing my fingers into her sides. She must have been really ticklish because she started laughing so hard enough that no sound was really coming out. "Where do you think you're going?" I asked as she tried to squirm away from me, apparently forgetting that I outweighed her by almost a hundred pounds.

"Stop, stop!" she squealed, trying to pry my hands off of her but only causing me to tickled her faster as I laughed along with her.

I was so into it I almost didn't hear it. It was so faint I almost believed I imagined it. I stilled and sat up on my knees on instinct and Bella looked up at me with a worried expression, all signs of humor gone.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

I shushed her and strained to listen for any other sounds. There was nothing at first and I was almost about to relax when I heard it. The front door opening.

Oh fuck me.

I looked down at a still very topless Bella. She was staring me dead in the eye and the look on her face said it all.

We were so fucked.

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**A/N**

**Eek! How's that for a cliffhanger? LOL, sorry guys, I had to do it, Edward couldn't handle anymore shit in this chap. **

**Reviews are always appreciated.**

**Hit up the twitter, I'd love to hear from some of you: AngieNS  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**

***sighs* I really hate that I'm only updating once a month, thats not cool with me either. Believe me. Sorry about the cliffie last time and that I kept you guys hanging, totally wasn't my intention****, blame Twitter and Facebook for the update fail lol!****  
**

**A big gracias to the beta THEsnapcrakklepop who got this back to me in record time. Seriously, you guys need to thank her for making sense of my... non-sense... yeah.**

**Anyway... enjoy!**

* * *

Oh shit!

I pushed Edward off of me and scrambled to get up and off my bed, which was hard considering Edward was still mostly on top of me and he was pretty heavy. I managed extract myself from under Edward (because I had to, not because I wanted to) and found both mine and Edward's shirts on the floor. I threw his over to him and pulled my wife beater on as I rushed to shut my door in case Charlie came upstairs.

What the fuck was he doing home anyway?

I turned around to find Edward fully clothed and halfway out my window. Damn, he was fast. I rushed (quietly) over to him and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back so I could plant a firm kiss on his mouth.

"I'm sorry; he said he wouldn't be back till midnight. I don-", I tried to apologize as he cut me off.

"Don't worry about it, babe. I guess I should be used to this shit by now." He chuckled softly and kissed me again before slipping out the window and onto the tree limb just outside. "Call me later," he whispered as he began shimmying down the tree.

I watched to make sure he got safely to the ground before closing the window. He made it unscathed and gave me a little wave before sprinting down the street.

Not scared, my ass.

I flopped down on my bed, lying on my back and throwing my arm over my eyes. I swear we had the worst luck. Like, seriously, what the hell? Was there a female equivalent for blue balls? Because if there was I was definitely feeling it and it was not cool. At all. Really I thought about Edward a lot anyway, but now I was going to be thinking about his mouth… and his hands… and his dick. Good lord, his dick had been so hard and… just… _big_. Of course I had no frame of reference but he had to be above average.

Edward had made me feel things I'd never felt before, things I'd only read about or seen in movies and TV shows. I had no idea it would actually feel so damn good; I had felt like I was on fire, spiraling out of control and just completely engulfed by him. I was apprehensive at first, doubting his intentions like a fool before I remembered that it was Edward and not some random guy who didn't care about me. No, Edward was special to me and as much as he wanted that physical contact from me, I wanted to give to him and I wanted it from him in return. I should have known Edward's experience would be a factor but I hadn't had time to think about it until I was laying there beneath him with my shirt off, completely exposed to him. Up until that point, besides my mother, I was the only one who had ever seen my breasts. I was self-conscious because I knew Edward had been with other girls, how many I had no idea as I was too scared to ask. But the way he had looked at me, his usually emerald eyes darkened to a hunter green and hooded with desire, was more than enough to put me at ease.

I loved Edward's body. With his shirt off he was more beautiful than ever, his masculinity emphasized by the sparse hair on his chest making a trail down into the waistband of his boxers, evidence that he was now more man than boy. And I couldn't be sure but I was fairly certain that I might have drooled a little bit.

I wasn't entirely sure where or even if we would have stopped if Charlie had not come home so I was at least semi-thankful that he did; I was not ready to have sex. I knew Edward was though, so we were going to have to talk about it at some point. I wasn't going to be a prude- messing around was fine with me- but we both needed to know where to draw the line when in situations like the one we were just in, mostly because I really didn't want to regret my first time. I wasn't stupid enough to think it would be perfect, nothing in life ever is, but I wanted to be sure it was the right time and not just on a hormone-induced whim.

Needing a distraction and not wanting to take care of myself while Charlie was awake, I got up and pulled a loose sweatshirt out of the closet, putting it on over my wife beater.

When I turned around I spotted Edward's cap under my bed. He must have forgotten it in his haste. I grinned devilishly as I plucked it off the floor and held it in my hands, laughing to myself as I stowed it away in my dresser; he wasn't getting that back without a fight. I hated that he wore the damned thing all the time, always covering up his hair, hair that I loved to not only ogle but to play with as well. If he didn't love it so much I would just burn it to prevent its future use but I wasn't that mean. He was just going to have to earn it back.

I fixed my hair, since it looked like a bird was making a nest up there, and I figured I'd go downstairs to see why Charlie was home so early.

I found him in the living room.

"Hey, kid," he said with a smile as he plopped his feet up on the coffee table, a beer in one hand, and the remote in the other. He was in an unusually good mood. Was he drunk?

"I thought you were going out," I said casually.

He cracked open his beer and took a huge gulp followed by a loud belch before he responded. "I was but I thought I'd come home and spend some time with you, now that you're talking to me again." He gave me a warm smile as he patted the seat beside him on the couch. "Wanna watch the tube with your old man?"

I fought a grimace. I lost.

"Ah, come on, Bells! I'll let you pick what we watch," he said as he handed the remote out to me.

His offer wasn't in the least bit appealing because really, who wants to be home on a Friday night watching TV with their cop father who just interrupted a very erotic encounter with their sexually frustrated and incredibly persuasive and irresistible boyfriend? Definitely not me.

But I did need to make nice with Charlie. He was going to find out about Edward eventually, one way or another, and I needed to cushion that blow as much as possible in order to prevent the catastrophe that could very well ensue. With that in mind and 'taking one for the team', I rounded the couch and took the remote from Charlie, turning the channel to TNT where I knew they were showing _American Beauty_ all weekend, one of my all time favorite movies.

We watched most of the movie in silence; the only sounds coming from Charlie's direction when he cracked open another beer. It wasn't really an awkward silence, at least not for me as I was zoned out on the movie, but for Charlie it might have been; the content of the movie probably made him a little uncomfortable what with part of the story line revolving around a middle-aged man's sexual obsession with his daughter's best friend. We made it through half the movie before he broke the silence.

"So how has school been?" he asked suddenly, completely disengaging me from my lock on the flat screen.

"Huh?" I responded as I looked over at him. He was still watching the screen but one of his thumbs was going to town on the top of his beer can. He looked kind of nervous.

"How is school? Do you like your classes and shi… and stuff?"

I sniggered at him for catching himself before he cursed. If he only knew how used to it I was, thanks to Edward who cursed more in one sentence than I did in a month. It was worse when he was upset or excited and I swear one time, when he was on a rant, every other word had been some sort of expletive. He was even starting to rub off on me (no pun intended - seriously).

"It's good. I like it a lot more than I thought I would. I thought I was going to hate it but everyone is really nice and friendly, very welcoming," I said with a nod for emphasis.

Charlie grinned ear to ear and I knew he was happy that I was happy here in his hometown. He was so proud of this small little podunk town, one of the reasons he never chased my mom down when she took off with me all those years ago. And I was glad I could give him that happiness at least.

"I'm really glad to hear that, Bella. I was afraid you'd spend one day here and want to hightail it back to Arizona."

"It's not that bad. I'm actually having a lot of fun. Mostly thanks to Alice who has the energy of a toddler on a sugar rush," I giggled.

Charlie chortled too. "You should have her over for dinner some time; I'd like to get to know the kids you hang around with."

Ok, what the hell is going on?

I didn't know whether to be weirded out or touched. And I couldn't help but feel a little bit suspicious.

"Um, yeah," I said as I turned my attention back to the TV. "That would be nice. I'll tell her about it." I needing to process whatever it was that had just happened. "I'm gonna turn in though, I'm beat," I said as I extracted myself from the afghan I had wrapped around me and stood up to stretch.

A wave of sadness danced across his features for a second before it was replaced by another smile and a nod. I bid Charlie goodnight and headed up to my room.

So much shit had gone on in such a short amount of time I felt like I was having a brain overload. The encounter with Edward alone was enough occupy my thoughts for the night but then Charlie had to go and be all fatherly and shit.

I guess I could understand Charlie deciding to step up after our little breakthrough early when he had given me my phone back, but there were still a lot of things we had to work on. Nothing could be fixed in one day with one conversation, and I knew if we had any hopes of repairing our broken relationship we were going to have to endure nights like tonight until it became natural. And part of me wanted to turn my back, to stop any progress before it started, had I not just been watching a movie that depicted the very same type of problem me and Charlie were having? I didn't want to end up like Jane and lose my dad before we had the chance to make amends; Charlie was a cop after all, and it was very plausible that he could be killed in the line of duty at any given moment that he was on the job. But more than anything, I was starting to realize that I didn't want to be angry at him anymore and I didn't want him to be a stranger. I didn't want to lose my dad… he was the only one I had. And I was tired of being mad at him, tired of holding a grudge that really, in all honesty, had no real basis; it was just me being mad for the sake of being mad.

I suddenly felt lighter, as if a weight was being lifted off of my shoulders. I kind of felt like I was growing up, maturing before my very own eyes and it felt really fucking good. The potential to rid my life of all that anger and all those bad feelings was so enticing I craved it. I wanted it – to be happy, like truly happy, and I knew making up with my dad was going to be a huge part of that; righting one of the biggest wrongs in my life, that had to be liberating, right?

It wasn't going to be easy, this new path we were on, but if Charlie was willing to go down that road then I should be just as willing. What did I have to lose? Nothing. What did I have to gain? A father; a friend. I wasn't stupid enough to think it was going to be an easy fix but for the first time, I felt hope.

But there was one thing that I could see getting in the way of everything; there was still that big, fat issue of me dating Edward Cullen. Yeah, I wasn't going to be bringing that up for a while, a good while.

EPOV

So… fuck my life?

Yeah, definitely, fuck my life.

I couldn't catch a break. Ok, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get laid but I could have at least, maybe, gotten a hand job. I would totally have been fine with a hand job. I mean I was going to have to give myself one later anyway but at least it would have been better getting one from Bella.

To make matters worse, I left my fucking hat in her room. I fucking loved my hat. But I could tell Bella didn't like it. Her eyes would bug out slightly when I would take it off for a second to smooth out my hair or scratch my head. She would get this swoony look on her face that was fucking cute and sexy at the same time and then she's kind of pout when I put it back on.

Sometimes I did it just to fuck with her. I never felt bad about it though since she did the same shit to me when she wore her hair up, exposing the smooth curve of her neck, a spot that was quickly becoming a favorite of mine. She'd show up to school with her hair up and she'd smirk when I eye fucked her. On those days I would rub the back of her neck as I walked her to and from her classes because that was all I could really do with teachers and the administration watching. Come lunch time though when I finally had the chance to really express my gratitude she'd pull the tie out of her hair and let it fall around her shoulders. I'd pouted like a three year old in return and she'd giggle at me but leave it down.

I was beginning to think my girl was just a big, fat tease. I was going to have to do something about that. And I knew just how to go about it.

I didn't want to go home but Jasper was out with Alice so I was pretty screwed. When I pulled up to my house the light in the front room was on and I assumed my parents were still watching TV as they waited up for me and Emmett. His Jeep was missing which meant he was still with Rose, and they were probably fucking. Lucky bastard.

I knew the front door would be unlocked so I walked right into the house, glancing over to the front room as I made my way up the stairs.

I wish I hadn't. And unfortunately, I will never forget the scene I witnessed.

I walked in on my parents making out on the couch like they were a couple of teenagers. My dad was on top of my mom, her legs spread wide to accommodate him between her thighs, his face buried in her neck. He had his hand up her shirt and hers was down the front of his pants.

"Oh, God! My eyes!" I screamed as covered my eyes and bolted up the stairs, trying to get as far away from that scene as fast as I could, tripping on a few steps along the way.

I fully intended on avoiding them for the rest of my life.

It was around midnight and I was sitting in bed with my laptop, being a pansy and making Bella a mix CD with some of my favorite songs. I wanted to introduce her to a few bands I was pretty sure she had never heard of and I also wanted her to see what kind of music I was into. After all, I had looked through her playlist countless times already so I knew what her tastes were and I just wanted to be fair. I was debating whether or not to include a few love songs that were cheesy as fuck but also really fucking awesome. I didn't want to come across as too big a pussy, giving Bella a fucking slow jams CD and I didn't want to give her the wrong idea; I didn't want her to think I was expressing love through those songs.

Not that I couldn't see myself loving Bella but it was way too fucking soon to even think about throwing that word around. I heard that shit all day at school from kids who had no fucking clue what it was like to love someone. Not that I knew any better but when and if I said it I wanted to fucking mean it and I wasn't going to take that shit lightly. I wasn't one of those guys who just says it to a girl to get laid, that shit just wasn't right and regardless, I would never do that to Bella.

I had just clicked the _Burn Disc_ button when I heard a knock on my door. Immediately, I assumed it was one of my parents.

"I'm asleep!" I yelled at the door.

The voice that responded was not one I was expecting. "You're a fucking liar, is what you are!" Emmett called from the other side. I couldn't help but smile.

"Can I come in or are you jackin' it?" He asked.

I had actually just finished "jackin' it" before I started making Bella's CD; it was the main reason I had my laptop out.

I shouted permission to enter and he walked into my room, closing the door behind him. He grabbed my desk chair and rolled it to the side of my bed, propping his ginormous feet up on my cover.

"So what's up?" I asked as I tried to ignore his bare feet on my blanket.

"Nothin'," he said he leaned back and laced his fingers behind his head. "Just got back from taking Rosie out to dinner. She wanted Mexican again."

"I feel sorry for your bathroom." I deadpanned, trying not to chuckle at my own joke and failing a little.

He just rolled his eyes. "You been sitting here surfing porn all night or what?"

"Not all night." I smiled. "I actually went to see Bella earlier."

He sat up, his interest piqued. "Oh? How'd that go?"

I explained to him about the chief loosening the leash on Bella and then about how we messed around before almost getting caught.

"Damn," he said when I told him about the chief coming home early. "You almost got shot, dude."

"Yeah, I fucking know. I almost shat myself." Not that I would never admit that to anyone else, especially Bella.

"So, were you gonna smash or what?" he asked.

"I doubt it," I sighed. Emmett and I had always been really close so it was easy to talk to him about Bella. It was nice to have someone to talk about it considering the fact that I had absolutely zero experience with relationships and I sometimes need guidance. And I kind of needed a little help…

"Don't tell anyone I told you this," I continued, knowing if I asked him to he would keep this conversation to himself. "Bella's a virgin."

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Annnd?"

"And I've never been with someone who has never been with anyone. I'm not sure what the best approach is. I know we're gonna need to take thing slow but I don't know what's ok and what's not."

"Ok, what do I have to do with this?"

"You've been in this situation before, right? I mean, was Rose… you know… when you guys got together?" I didn't want to just straight up ask him about Rosalie's sexual history, it was a little disrespectful.

Thankfully Emmett knew what I was trying to say. He gave a proud nod. "I am the one and only," he said with a smirk.

"Ok and I know _she_ wasn't _your_ first so how did you… approach the situation?" Fuck this was kind of hard to talk about.

He sighed deeply, his body language suggesting that he was annoyed by my question. I was about to tell him to just fucking forget it but he saw me about to speak and raised his hand to stop me.

"I dunno what to tell you, Edward; every girl is different. Some like to take things slow and some like to get down and dirty a.s.a.p. - it depends." He leaned back and rubbed his face with his hands. "With Rosie it was easy; we both wanted the same thing and we didn't need to explain it to each other. We just got it."

"I should be so lucky," I interjected, a little more bitterly than I knew I was even capable of.

"Man, just talk to her about it. Ask her what her limits are and then respect them. The more comfortable you make her, the more she trusts you to stay within the lines she's drawn, the quicker it will be. She has to trust you completely.

For guys it's different; we don't mind fucking the first girl that will fuck us as long as she isn't ugly, right?"

I didn't want to admit it, but it was true. I nodded.

"But for girls it's not like that. They want it to be special and magical and all that bullshit so as her boyfriend it's your responsibility to make sure that it's everything she wants it to be. The first time is something she won't ever want to regret so make it worth it. And I know that's all really lame but if you really care about her you'll fucking do it and you won't give a shit."

I sat there quietly as I tried to process and retain everything my brother had just told me. It did seem really lame and like total cheesy coated bullshit but I could do it. I could do it for Bella. I didn't want her to regret being with me and I grimaced at the thought that someone day she would think back on her time with me and wish it had never happened. My goal had always been to make her smile but I wanted more than that. I wanted to always make her happy because a smile didn't mean happiness, you could hide a lot behind a smile, you could fucking fake a smile. I didn't want her to have to fake anything with me.

"Thanks, Em," I said as I looked him in the eyes. "I get it." And I did; I was fucking resolved to be better. For Bella and for myself.

Emmett waved me off. "It's whatever, little brother. But I have one last piece of advice for you. And I didn't know this until Rosie explained it to me and then everything made so much more sense.

Apparently girls are really insecure about themselves so just make sure that she knows she's special to you. You know, affection goes a long way; girls love that shit."

"Yeah thanks a lot, Captain Obvious," I said as I rolled my eyes. He swore I was that inept.

He held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, man, I'm just trying to help," he chuckled.

Emmett left soon after that and, rather exhausted, I started getting ready for bed even though it was still early. I took Jake outside before I put him in his kennel for the night, hoping I wouldn't run into my parents as I made my way back up to my room but I ran into my mother in the foyer.

She smiled at me.

"I don't wanna hear it," I said as I covered my ears and tried to walk past her. I wasn't going to give her a chance to speak and say something disgusting about my father's libido.

"Stop being such a baby," she chided as she pulled me back to her by the back of my shirt. "I want to talk to you."

Oh fuck. What now?

I turned around as I rolled my eyes. "What?"

"What's been going on with you lately?" she asked earnestly, all humor gone from her face. She was in serious-mom-mode.

"Nothing." I retorted quickly, denial being a force of habit at this point.

She quirked an eyebrow at me.

"What?" I asked. "I've been good lately… Haven't I?" Great, now she had me doubting myself. Were all moms mindfuckers? Or was it just women in general?

"Yes, you've been the model son these past couple of weeks - and I'm not complaining - I just want to know what's behind it," she said as she leaned against the banister.

I returned the eyebrow quirk. "Why does something have to be behind it? Maybe I'm just growing up?" I offered lamely.

She gave me that look. That do-you-really-expect-me-to-believe-your-bullshit-look before she let a little smirk slip out. I got that shit from her I guess. "Who's the girl, Edward?"

I blanched. "Uh…" Shit, what the fuck was I supposed to say? "What?" How the fuck…

A huge shit eating grin spread across her face. "That's what I thought."

I continued to gape at her, dumbfounded. "How did you know?"

I didn't think it was possible but her smile continued to grow. She was practically beaming now. "I didn't. But I do now."

Oh I felt used. "Not cool, mom," I said as I shook my head, half-amazed and half-ashamed.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but you're so easy," she cooed as she pushed my hair back from my eyes. "So easy to read, just like your father. Now, what's her name?"

I couldn't tell her. Part of me wanted to but I didn't know what the consequences of that were so, erring on the side of caution, I shook my head at her. "I can't tell you."

She looked at me for a long moment, assessing me with her eyes, waiting for me to give it away. But I couldn't. Hopefully I wouldn't get in trouble for keeping it from her, the last fucking thing I needed was to be grounded again.

Her expression softened after a bit and she just walked away after a moment with this really fucking sad look on her face.

And then I just felt fucking guilty.

"Fuck!" I mumbled as I trudged my ass back up the stairs with Jake on my heels.

See what I meant about not being able to catch a break?

Once I was settled in bed I pulled out my phone, noting that I had a text from Bella that was sent almost two hours ago.

Fuck.

I always forgot to check my phone; usually I'd come home and throw it on my bed or dresser and fucking forget about it since it was always on vibrate. Before I got with Bella it hadn't been a big deal, no one really cared if it took me hours to get back to them, no one had been that important, but Bella was always getting onto me about missing her calls and texts. By now I was sure she expected it but it still made me feel like shit, I didn't want her to think I was ignoring her. I was grateful that it was always just one missed call or one text; I'd been with girls who just fucking loved to blow up my phone with call after call, voicemail after voicemail. I fucking hated that shit but thankfully Bella understood my bad habit and knew I'd check my shit eventually and get back to her as soon as I did. I made a mental note to start paying more attention to my phone; it would help with the whole reassurance thing.

_**Hey. **_Her short text read.

_**Hey. My bad. How'd it go? **_I replied.

She responded right away, _**It was…. weird. He said he came home to spend time with me. We watched American Beauty **_

I smiled, knowing that was one of her favorites. She'd made me promise to watch it with her when we had the opportunity and in return I told her she had to watch The Matrix with me since she'd never seen it.

_**Thats… good… right? He didnt suspect anything did he? **_I asked, still more than a little worried about it.

I wasn't expecting it when my phone started to ring, Bella's name showing up on the screen.

"Hey, baby," I answered.

"Hey," she whispered. I knew she had to be quiet so I found myself speaking in hushed tones as well.

"So what happened?"

I heard her sigh into the phone and I tried to imagine what she looked like at that moment. Was she lying in bed or was she sitting up? Was her hair up or down? Was she still wearing what she had on earlier? I felt myself stirring at the memory.

"He just walked in acting all nice, talking to me like everything was ok." She paused and I felt that she wasn't done talking, just thinking so I stayed quiet, letting her gather her thoughts. She scoffed suddenly. "He even asked me to invite Alice over for dinner."

"That is kinda weird. At least he's making an effort," I offered. I knew Bella's relationship with the chief was strained and I didn't want to be another complication; if things got better between them then maybe one day he would be ok with me being in her life. But that was a big ass maybe.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I kinda feel like as long as he's trying I should too, you know? Just to give this a chance."

"That's probably a good thing. As much as he and I don't get along, I don't want you to think I don't want you two to figure things out; he's still your dad, baby."

"Yeah, I know. I'm gonna try. If nothing else it might help ease the blow when I tell him I'm dating the infamous Edward Cullen," she teased.

I laughed. "Infamous, huh? Oh hey, I left my hat in your room," I remembered, suddenly.

"Oh I know. I'm keeping it."

The hell she was. "The hell you are. I expect it back the next time I see you, which is gonna be tomorrow since I'm taking your ass out." I had been wanting to take her out for a while and with her being on lockdown it was impossible, but now that she was moderately free I planned on taking full advantage.

"Really? Where are we going?"

I couldn't help the huge smile that spread across my face at the sound of her excitement.

"It's a secret."

"You're so full of shit, Edward," she accused, causing both of us to giggle as we both knew it was true.

I had noticed that she'd started cursing more lately. I found it kind of cute that she was picking up my bad habit but it was also sexy as fuck to hear her swear when she normally didn't. It was dirty in the best way possible.

"I am taking you out though," I replied as soon as my giggle fit subsided. "If you give me my hat back that is," I bargained.

She_ hmmed_. "I'll think about it."

I _uh huhed_.

We shared moment of comfortable silence before I decided to ruin it. "So what are you wearing?" I asked for the second time that night.

I heard her distant laughter as if she had moved the phone away from her mouth before she whispered into the phone, all low and seductive, "Goodnight, Edward." She hung up without giving me a chance to respond.

I fell asleep with a smile that night.

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**A/N**

**Hopefully, now that I'm kind of getting into the thick of things, the updates won't not be so far apart. And I don't really want to put a number on it but I'm thinking maybe 10 more chapters... if that. But don't fret, I have something in the works... a few somethings actually. How about a poll to see which story you'd like to read next? Ok, this is what I have in the hat: pizzaward & hoella, stripella & shyward, militaryschoolward and obliviousella ... oh and maybe something with bumward. Let me know! It's up to you guys!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**

**I should have had this out sooner but 5k into the first draft I realized that I didn't like the direction I was headed so I scratched it and started over. So this was all on me and I apologize but I do like where it's going now so no worries!**

**I won't keep you waiting, just gotta give a quick thanks to the beta THEsnapcrakklepop.**

**The words under that line are mine, but thats about it.  
**

* * *

CPOV

Things were better. It had been almost a month since Bella started talking to me again and our relationship was mending. We had breakfast together mostly every morning and at night we'd catch up a bit before bed, if we weren't too tired or busy. It was nice. It wasn't perfect and we still had a ways to go, but things were better.

Turns out Bella didn't like being cooped up in the house and was always either on her way out or on her way in. She stuck to her curfew though so I had no cause to complain, especially considering her grades were stellar. I had no idea how she did it, but I was thoroughly impressed.

And she was happy; I could see it in her eyes. After meeting Alice I was sure that little pixie had something to do with the changes I saw taking place in Bella. Those two were inseparable. Alice came over a few times a week and if they weren't together in person they were always talking on the phone or texting. Bella spent a lot of time at the Brandon's when I was at work, too. I was thankful she had somewhere to be when I wasn't home; somewhere I knew she would be safe.

It was Friday and it was the first night in a month that I was headed to Billy's to throw back a few with Marcus. It was also the first night I had extended Bella's curfew to midnight, mostly because I needed a night out and I probably wouldn't be home until then anyway. She was with Alice again, something about organizing Valentine's Day shit for some school dance thing. Whatever, Valentine's Day was the devil.

Maybe that's why I'm still single…

Again. Whatever.

I played a few games of pool and owned Marcus at darts before we finally settled down at the bar. We saw each other at work but we made it a point to check our personal shit at the door before we started our shifts. Personal problems were never a good thing to bring to the job when you had to be on full alert at all times. Our focus had to be on the task at hand, one little slip up and someone could get hurt or worse. So we reserved nights like tonight to vent our shit to each other.

"Well I'm glad you guys are making progress, I know you thought it was a lost cause," Marcus said as he peeled the label off of his Miller Lite bottle.

"I'm glad too. I hated being all tense all the time. It was stifling."

"I bet. What's she getting into tonight?"

"She's with Alice. Something about Valentine's Day preparations. I wasn't really listening."

"Alice Brandon…" He mused before suddenly chuckling to himself.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just that I pulled her over the other day."

I didn't know about that. "Yeah?"

"Well, I pulled her boyfriend over – that Whitlock kid. He was speeding. Let him go with a warning. I'm surprised you're so cool with Bella hanging out with him."

I looked at him, confused. "What?"

"That kid – Jasper or whatever, he's a little pothead."

"No, I know that. I didn't know she had a boyfriend. Bella's never mentioned anything about him and she's with Alice all the time…" I trailed off, thinking.

Marcus looked at me while I contemplated. "What, you think she didn't tell you on purpose?"

I shook my head, trying to make sense of it. "I don't know." Of course, Bella was a teenager and they aren't exactly known for being completely truthful but still, something about it seemed off. My spidey-sense was tingling.

Marcus shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe she thinks you won't let her go if you know he's gonna be there."

"Maybe. But why? Why would I care if he's Alice's boyfriend? Why would she want to keep that from me?"

And then… something clicked. I remembered something. The Cullen kid… the Whitlock kid… they were thick as thieves, those two, always together. Much like Bella and Alice.

Fuck.

Me.

They were hanging out together, I was fucking sure of it. They had to be. Or was I just being paranoid? I felt used. And angry.

"What's wrong, chief?" he asked, reading the expression on my face.

I shook my head. "Nothing." I didn't want to talk about it with Marcus, he would just tell me to forget about it or not to worry and I really didn't want to hear that shit. I wanted to be angry and I wanted to find out what the fuck was going on and what the fuck Bella was trying to hide. "I'm goin' home," I said as I paid my tab and put my jacket on.

I left the bar before he could stop me and I sped home to wait for Bella.

The thought of Edward Cullen being in close proximity to my daughter was infuriating. I knew that kid, he was no good. I knew he drank and used drugs and I'd caught him more than once with his pants down – literally. I wanted to make sure Bella knew all these things in case she was getting interested in him. I'll admit he was an attractive kid and he had that Cullen charm that both his father and his older brother possessed but I'd be damned if I was going to let him woo my daughter.

I hated to think about it in such a way, but Bella was a beautiful girl. And whether I liked it or not, I knew guys found her attractive. Edward Cullen was probably no exception. But I was not going to stand back and watch this… _fuckery_ occur. Not on my fucking watch.

**EPOV**

I was soooooo fucking high.

It was Friday night and we were all chilling in Jasper's garage, watching a Back to the Future marathon since none of the girls had seen any of them. Seriously, what the hell? They had a lot to learn.

It was rare that all six of us got together since we all copiously enjoyed being alone with our respective significant others, but tonight we were having what Alice referred to as "family time". Rosalie and Emmett's big ass were taking up the whole couch, Jasper and Alice were curled up on the love seat and Bella and I were spooning on the floor by the coffee table. Hey, I threw some blankets down; I'm not a complete ass.

I couldn't tell you how much we smoked but even Jasper was done, take that how you will. Bella even took a few hits. I was a little sad when I noticed that after those first couple of days she hadn't been partaking for whatever reason and only occasionally smoked with us. I loved it when she did though, she would get really touchy and her hands were always on me in some capacity, holding my hand, rubbing my thighs or my back, slipping her hand under the sleeve of my shirt… it was fucking nice.

The past month had been fucking awesome, we spent every moment we could together and I had stuck to my plan of making her happy at all costs. I had turned into the biggest pussy in the history of pussy because of it but it was fucking worth it to see her face light up whenever she saw me. I was sure I had the same reaction to her. I snuck into her room every now and then but always when she was certain the chief was asleep and even then I never stayed long. The only reason I did it was because she would call me or text me late at night, telling me how she missed me and wanted to see me and I, like the major pussy I had become, would drop everything and go see her, consequences be damned. I mean, really? Who was I to deny her what she wanted, plus it was more than a little flattering to know she desired me in such a way. It was always worth it too because on those nights Bella would let me go a little further than she usually did. I had recently worked my way down to third base, something I was very, very pleased with. I was pretty sure Bella was pretty pleased with it too.

At that thought, I scooted close to Bella under the covers, nestling against her back and pulling her completely against my chest. She responded in kind, pulling my arms tighter around her body as we tried to get comfortable in our new positions.

After the first movie the girls got bored with the trilogy and wanted to do something else.

"Let's get some beer or somethin'." Rosalie suggested. I smiled, recalling how Rose never ceased to amaze me, for all the girly girl that she was she still enjoyed her indulgences as much as the next person. I had to admit, I could have gone for some fucking beer; it would have been easy enough to get since my gargantuan brother could easily pass for twenty-one and if we all pitched in we could probably get a case. Plus I was pretty sure that getting drunk and high simultaneously was the best fucking feeling in the world… well expect maybe fucking Bella, but I wouldn't know anything about that now would I?

"Fuck yeah!" Emmett agreed enthusiastically. "We can play waterfall again!"

Yeah. Fuck that shit, the last time we played I had woken up in my backyard wrapped in a thin bed sheet and nothing else. I never found out whose sheet it was and I had no idea how I ended up there or what I did that night. "Fuck that shit, man. No fucking way," I said as I pushed myself into a sitting position and pulled Bella between my legs.

There was a collective groan from my friends as they simultaneously rolled their eyes at me.

Jasper was the first to try to change my mind; I think they all knew he had the best chance. "Come on, E," he pleaded as he lightly smacked me on my arm. "Just a couple of games…"

"Yeah! Come on, Edward!" Alice practically whined.

With a heavy sigh I looked down at Bella who was looking up at me with this really amused look on her face. "You feel like drinking tonight, babe?" I asked.

She made a face and answered, "I feel like it but I can't show up drunk again, Charlie will flip."

As much as I hated it she was right. "Well, what do you wanna do then?" I asked as we zoned out on each other. We got a lot of shit for doing that but I really didn't give a shit, when I was focused on my girl nothing else mattered and it's not like I could help that shit – it just fucking happened.

I should have expected what came next, as Bella was the most indecisive person I had ever met and whenever I asked her anything it was always "whatever you want" or "it doesn't matter to me". I fucking hated that shit. Why the fuck couldn't she just take control and make a decision for us? "I dunno," she said as she played with the hair on my forearms, watching as she pushed the fine hairs against the grain and watched them settle back into place. I always found it fucking sexy when she did shit like that, her touch spreading warmth throughout my body. "If you wanna drink that's fine, I'll just watch you guys play."

She was sitting with her back to my chest so I leaned down to whisper in her ear, "We can do something else if you want – just the two of us." Because as much as I loved hanging out with everyone I would never fucking ever pass up an opportunity to be alone with my girl. I took her earlobe in my mouth, sucking on it gently as my hands began to wander down her sides and around her waist, pulling her closer to me.

She whimpered as I continued to roam her neck with my mouth. "We're supposed to be having family time," she reminded me.

I _pfft_'ed. "So?" She gave a look that seemed to suggest she enjoyed family time and was a little put off that I had scoffed at the idea. I rolled my eyes, all the apology she was going to get. "You really wanna sit around and watch us all get shit-faced?"

Bella smiled. "As long as one of you is sober enough to drive me home."

"Well seeing as how I _can't_ drive you home I guess I can get as drunk as I want." I winked at her.

"Uh, hello!" Emmett called out, completely destroying our moment. I hadn't even noticed Emmett and Jasper had stood and put their jackets on, ready to head out on the beer run. "You coming or what, little brother?"

"Not yet." I joked and, yes, I did chuckle at myself. I felt Bella giggle in my arms and I leaned down to kiss her before I stood up and pulled my hoodie on. I still hadn't gotten my hat back from Bella so I'd gone out and bought a beanie cap instead since I hated going out in the cold without coverage. You know something like ninety percent of our body heat escapes through our heads. Oddly enough though, Bella didn't seem to mind my new hat but I had my suspicions that she was secretly plotting out how to get her hands on it.

The girls stayed behind as Jasper, Emmett and I drove to the edge of town toward one of the many gas stations along the freeway. We had to drive far enough that no one from town would recognize us, or Emmett rather, and we actually got turned down twice before he succeeded.

On the ride back I couldn't help but smile at the thought that the girls were back in Jaspers garage, no doubt gossiping about the three of us, and there we sat, beer in hand, talking about the new Madden videogame. Before I got with Bella I had no idea the extent to which women gossiped. I mean I thought I knew, that's just what girls did, right? But I was surprised at the shit they talked about, apparently girls were fuckin no holds barred with that shit; they talked about any and everything.

I was even more surprised to find that as Bella's boyfriend I was privy to all sorts of interesting tidbits of information regardless of whether or not I wanted to hear about them. Bella would tell me all kinds of crazy shit, not even caring to ask me if I wanted to know; I'd simply ask her to fill me in on her day and she'd repeat to me everything she'd learned from spending time with the girls. Now, don't get me wrong, sometimes being in on things is all good and well but sometimes there were just certain things I didn't want to know.

Like, the previous week, Bella and I had been hanging out in my room before my parents got home. It was one of those rare moments where we didn't need to be anywhere and we had a couple of hours in between where we could just _be_ together. She was lying sideways on my bed, playing with Jake as I leaned back against the headboard smoking weed from my pipe.

"So Alice was telling me…" she started saying - out of nowhere. "The other night she and Jasper were, you know, _doing it_, but they were in this new position but…" She paused as she tried to stop an impending giggle fit. I was too high to really see where she was going but if I had been paying attention I would have stopped her before she finished the rest of her story. "Well, apparently it was just too much for Jasper. She said he only last about minute." She snorted, finally unable to hold off the laughter any longer. "She was so pissed."

I stilled with the pipe in my mouth, the lighter lit just a few inches away from the bowl. What the fuck?! I didn't want to hear that shit about Jazz… it just wasn't right. What he did - or didn't do in that particular case - in the bedroom with Alice was his fucking business. Plus I really didn't want to picture my best friend having sex - period. I shivered at the thought. Eck.

Another thing Bella had told me that I really didn't care to hear was something about Emmett and Rosalie breaking her bed frame during a rather… ambitious… evening for fornication. I had laughed at that though; I kept telling that fucker he was a fatass, so maybe after that debacle he would listen and quit acting like he didn't weigh nearly three hundred pounds. He said he was all muscle but… yeah… last I heard you don't get muscle from sitting on your ass eating Flaming Hot Cheetos all night.

But it was nice in a way. I liked that Bella shared some of that information with me, because it meant that she trusted me enough with what she had been entrusted with and that meant a lot to me. I never told the guys about what I knew and I probably never would since I was pretty sure they knew things about me that I didn't know they knew. Not that there was a lot to know since Bella and I hadn't gotten very far yet but, still, I was sure she wasn't just hearing the gossip; I knew she had to be giving it out too and I wasn't sure how to felt about that.

We made it back to Jazz's to find the girl watching some Lifetime movie. Emmett did us all a favor and quickly turned the T.V. off.

It was getting late by the time we were on our third game of Waterfall and I was sufficiently buzzed. I knew Bella would need to be leaving soon, luckily Alice hadn't drank as much as the rest of us and offered to take Bella home. I walked them out to Alice's car and in my drunken state I had a hard time letting Bella go. I hated that our time together was always limited and I longed for the day when we could spend as much time together as we wanted, uninterrupted.

I kissed her good night and warned Alice that she better get her home safely before I went back inside— where I proceeded to get completely shit-faced.

**BPOV**

Watching everyone around me get drunk was highly entertaining and I wished I could have joined in but I was high enough as it was and I really didn't want to mix the feeling with alcohol; I knew my limits. Edward, however, did not, but he was so cute when he was drunk I didn't really mind. Part of me wanted to worry about leaving him in such a state but I knew he was in good hands with Emmett and Alice there.

Before long Alice and I were pulling into my driveway.

"Here," she said as she handed me a tiny bottle of body spray, "You probably smell like a Cypress Hill concert."

I laughed and sprayed myself a couple of times before handing the bottle back to her.

"Thanks," I said as I gathered my stuff. "See you tomorrow?" We all had plans to go out together. The guys wanted to see a movie and Rose and Alice wanted to go shopping so we had planned on heading to Port Angeles for the day. I sighed as I thought about spending an entire day with Edward, the fact that we wouldn't be alone wasn't even that big of a deal all things considered.

"Yup," she said with a pop on the p. "I'll be here bright and early so don't over sleep."

I rolled my eyes at my friend. "I'll set my alarm."

As I was getting out of the car I caught sight of Charlie in the doorway, glaring at us. I felt my stomach drop a little and a bitter taste in my mouth as I bid Alice goodbye and made my way up the walk toward the front door.

"Goodnight, Chief Swan!" I heard Alice call as she pulled out of the driveway with a flamboyant wave to my father. He waved politely in return, the scowl on his face remained however. Before she pulled away completely I saw her shoot me a look that clearly said "call me with details a.s.a.p." I guess she noticed the look too.

I squared my shoulders and put my game face on as I made my way up the stairs.

"Hey," I greeted my dad as he moved to the side so I could enter the house. We both knew something was up but he didn't say anything to me as we made our way into the house; he just kind of hovered behind me as if he was waiting for me to crack. As a cop, Charlie knew how to make people nervous enough to give themselves away but his games didn't work on me, I was too bull headed like him. He knew it too so after a moment, once he realized his effort were futile he gave up and finally spoke as I began ascending the stairs to my room.

"Bella," he said sternly, his tone stopping me in my tracks.

I turned on the bottom step and looked at him as he leaned against the wall by the kitchen.

"Yes?"

He looked like he was choosing his words carefully and I couldn't help but think that that was a bad sign. After a moment of concentration he finally opened his mouth to speak only to snap it shut right away. He looked away from me and took a deep breath before he tried again, this time finding the words he appeared to struggle so hard to find.

"Have you been hanging around Edward Cullen?" he asked bluntly, no warm up questions or anything. I was so taken aback by his question that I was pretty sure my expression gave me away; I tried to recover as quickly as I could.

"What?" I asked. Nothing else was coming to me and after I said it I mentally slapped myself in the face – deny, deny, you're always supposed to deny.

He missed nothing. "You heard me, Bella. Have you… been hanging around… with Edward Cullen?" he repeated slowly, breaking the sentence down to make sure I got it that time.

"Why do you want to know?" Goddamnit, why didn't I just fucking lie to him and get this shit over with? Oh that's right, it was because I was fucking stupid.

"It doesn't matter why I want to know. Answer the question and don't you dare lie to me," he warned.

Blame it on being a hormonally unstable teenager but his threat just pissed me off and I felt the bitch brow come out of its own accord. I felt like I was having an out of body experience; the real Bella was up in the air right now, watching stupid Bella fuck everything up, powerless to stop her.

I crossed my arms over my chest, cocking my head to the side as I responded to him in a voice I didn't quite recognize. "Do you have something against him or what?" I guess I enjoyed digging my own grave.

"That doesn't fucking matter. And I'll take your non answer as an affirmative. You're grounded again. Indefinitely." He started to walk away but I wasn't just going to take that shit again.

"What the fuck for?!" I nearly screamed at him. He stopped on a dime and I saw his shoulders tense as he took in the fact that not only had I yelled at him but I'd cursed at him as well. Hell I couldn't really believe it myself. Was I still that I high that I didn't give a shit?

He turned around slowly as he tried to reign in his anger but his face was beet red and I knew he was struggling to keep himself in check. He took another deep breath as he took a step towards me. "You lied to me."

I scoffed. "About what?"

"You never mentioned that Alice was dating Jasper Whitlock who just so happens to be 'besties' with Edward Cullen so don't even try to lie to me about not hanging around with him." And yes, he did the air quotes and everything.

"I never lied to you about that, I just never told you. There _is_ a difference, you know?"

"Same fucking difference, Bells!" he yelled as he threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. "Do you even know this guy? Has no one told you about him or do all the kids think he's cool because he has a rap sheet?"

"What are you talking about?" Edward had never told me the extent of his issues with my dad and I hadn't asked, figuring it was just beef. A part of my brain was telling me that I needed to know, even though my heart was telling me it didn't matter… but should it.

"So he hasn't told you," Charlie deduced. "Christ, Bells, you're not… involved with him are you? Please tell me haven't fallen for that idiot." His anger appeared to have subsided and in its place was nothing but compassion and worry. Charlie was trying to look out for me.

I was suddenly reminded of all the progress we had made and I knew in that moment that Charlie wasn't lying to me, he was trying to protect me. But from Edward? Edward had never done anything to warrant me worrying about his motives or anything like that. I was suddenly too confused.

"Bella," he continued as I tried to make sense of all of the thoughts that were suddenly shooting around in my head. "That kid is no good; he's a pain in the ass, spoiled brat who is used to having things his way. Where ever he goes he leaves trouble in his wake and he doesn't learn, he's like one of those dumb dogs that keeps trying to get over the electric fence." Charlie looked away, seeming to decide on his next words. "He uses girls Bella, treats them like shit. I've seen it. Please tell me he hasn't gotten to you too."

I was sure the look on my face gave me away and I was even more positive when Charlie came to stand in front of me, leaning down and placing his hands on my shoulders so we were eye level before he continued his little speech. "Bells, you can do so much better than him. I know he's a looker and he comes from money and he has that car but, baby, he's not worth it. I don't want to see you broken because of him. So please… just… not him. Ok?"

I took in everything he said; I took it all to heart. But I needed to think. Everything he had said about Edward was so conflicting with the person I knew. The Edward I knew was sweet and kind and gentle. He was honest if not a little blunt but that was just him. I trusted him – completely, I didn't believe that he would ever hurt me – that he would ever use me. Hell, I couldn't even think such a thing it was so unlike him. But I trusted Charlie too. My father knew a different person, maybe that's just how he was before I came into the picture. But could Edward really have changed so quickly and so drastically? Was that even possible?

I nodded slowly and that seemed to be enough for Charlie as he released me with a soft kiss on the top of my head before heading for the kitchen. Neither of us said another word as I made my way to my room.

As I crawled into bed that night everything Charlie said was still on my mind. It was like a game of tug-a-war in my heart and in my head. My logic and my emotions were facing off against each other but neither side was winning.

It was too much all at once and I prayed that sleep would take me quickly so I wouldn't have to worry about anything for at least a few hours. Unfortunately that didn't happen and I stayed awake all night. I cried but I couldn't even cry myself to sleep. I was left with nothing but my thoughts as I tried to decide what the hell I was going to do.

* * *

**A/N**

**Ah, what to do, what to do?**

**Well, we all knew it was coming...**

**It's gonna get rocky for a bit, folks, but I assure you things will be ok again; It's gotta get worse before it gets better and all that. Also, I've been asked if the title is indicative of the outcome and the answer to that is still mostly up in the air. But I will say this, I'm a sucker for happy endings.**

**See you guys soon.  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**

**Ok, kids. This one here is all BPOV and be warned there is some smut about to take place.**

**Gracias to the beta THEsnapcrakklepop for her "red pen" and for not betaing under the influence LOL.**

**I don't own Twilight, as we all know.**

* * *

BPOV

Charlie granted me permission to go out the next morning and I spent Saturday with my friends like we had planned- but I wasn't into it. I put on a show for them, pretending that I was happy and content when I was actually anything but. Unfortunately, Edward was observant as always and caught on quicker than I had anticipated. I lied to him when he asked if everything was alright, and even though he knew I was lying he didn't call me on it; he just grabbed my hand and pulled me into a tight embrace, only further confusing my already perplexed heart. I really tried to enjoy myself while we had lunch at a pizza buffet- where the guys had an impromptu eating contest, to prove who had the biggest dick I guess. Emmett won by ten slices which meant the guys had to grant him an undeniable favor, each, which he could call for at any time. Why they bet such a thing was beyond us girls. We hit up a putt-putt course and then a movie, but even with all the distractions I still couldn't stop the mental struggle that was going on in my head.

I found myself weighing and judging everything Edward did, trying to separate the good from the bad. And I hated it. I hated that what I enjoyed just hours before was such torture now. The green of his eyes, the comfort of his touch, the crooked smile on his lips – it was all there, everything I had trusted, suspended in the air, simply waiting for my heart to decide if I believed it anymore.

By the end of the night I could tell the wariness that had been building in Edward all day was reaching a boiling point. I knew Edward well enough to know when he was lying and/or acting, much like he knew when I was, but I doubted anyone other than maybe Emmett had noticed. Edward was trying to be patient with me, that much I could tell. However, Edward was probably the most impatient person I had ever met and I knew it was taking a lot for him to give me the time and space we both knew I needed. Emotionally, physically we were still good. I still reached for his hand when he was too far away, he still brought his hand up to rub the back of my neck, and we still stole sweet, chaste kisses whenever we felt like doing it – just as we had always done.

I thought about maybe pulling Alice to the side and asking for her guidance, but every time I thought of it I would look over and see that she was wrapped up in Jasper and I didn't want to ruin her day as well. Rose wasn't really an option either so I just kept my mouth shut.

I knew I needed to talk to Edward about it and explain to him everything that was going on; he deserved as much for managing to stay as patient as he had been. But what if it was all true? What if he hadn't really changed? What if everything I thought I knew about him was a lie?

The sun had set by the time we got on the highway back to town. Not wanting to take separate cars, we had all decided to ride in Jasper's truck as he had the only vehicle big enough to accommodate all six of us. Jasper and Alice were in the front seat and Emmett and Rosalie took up the backseat, leaving me and Edward in the extra foldable seat at the very back of the Explorer. Rose and Em appeared to be sleeping, so when Edward finally spoke his voice was low and smooth; his warm breath fanning my ear, "Where've you been all day, babe?"

I felt my heart break a little. "I'm fine," I lied. "Just a little tired. Didn't sleep much last night," I said as I looked up at him from my spot tucked under his arm. Because even though I was trying to work through things in my head, my body still had the overwhelming need to be close to him, something I was helpless to control.

He smiled down at me but it didn't reach his eyes so I knew it wasn't quite sincere. "You sure?" he asked, although it sounded more like, _You sure you don't want to tell me what's _really_ bothering you?_

"I'm sure," I lied again and I saw the disappointment in his eyes. We were silent the rest of the ride, barely mumbling quiet goodbyes to each other when Jasper dropped him and Emmett off. He kissed my cheek before he got out and I wanted so badly to just grab him and hold on until the shit in my head worked itself out… but I knew better.

By the time I got home Charlie was already in bed, but that was for the best; I just wanted to go to my room and go to bed. I was still seeking the escape that sleep and dreaming provided, but yet again my mind failed me and I slept a dreamless sleep that night.

My Sunday was spent at home alone while Charlie worked all day and everyone else spent time with their families. I would have felt lonely if I wasn't so freaking preoccupied. As evening set in, Edward called and invited me to go watch him and the guys play basketball at the park. While the thought of seeing Edward flushed and sweating as he ran around the court was enticing, I lied and said I was still tired and had homework to do. His tone suggested he knew I was full of it but, again, he didn't call me on it.

That was starting to bother me too. Why wasn't he probing me for answers, trying to get me to talk? Edward wasn't the type to just let things slide like that and it worried me. Did he just not care? But even if he did try, I doubted I would tell him what was going on as I still didn't have anything figured out and was dead set on keeping it under wraps until I did. I knew the best and smartest option was to simply get it out in the open, to talk to Edward about everything, but I was too scared of the outcome to actually do it.

The rest of the week passed in a blur as I tried to bury myself in my school work to avoid thinking about the complications of my life. I still played my part as a friend to everyone else but I felt myself putting distance between myself and Edward; I wasn't as affectionate as I had been, I didn't call him as often and, really, and I just tried not to think about him.

Tried… and failed. Edward was still in the forefront of my mind most of the time and I found myself missing him more and more every day. I was going to break soon, I could feel it.

And it happened Wednesday night.

It was well past midnight and I just didn't have it in me anymore to _think_; I needed to know. I had been torturing myself, trying to figure shit out in my head, but I didn't have all the pieces so it was impossible. I'd cried out of frustration and pain and helplessness and doubt. And I was tired of it; tired of being such a girl about it.

So, putting the bullshit excuses to the side, I called Edward and told him we needed to talk. After a beat of loaded silence he'd said he'd be over shortly. It took him all of ten minutes before he was tapping lightly on my window. Rather impressed with his eagerness, I let him in and no sooner had I closed the window and turned around did he have me wrapped up in his strong arms. It was the first time that week that I welcomed his embrace. I clung to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, holding him close as I breathed in his familiar scent: mint, smoke, and Axe body wash and something else I still couldn't put a name to… his Edward scent.

"Please don't leave me," he pleaded into my hair as he squeezed me closer to his body.

My heart clenched at his words. He sounded so desperate and sad and I hated that I was the reason for it.

I shook my head and pushed on his chest, signaling him to loosen his grip on me. "I'm not leaving you, Edward," I said as I took his hand and led him over to my bed. I sat down and patted the spot next to me. Instead of sitting, Edward hopped over me and pulled me with him as he laid down on the bed, slipping his arm under my neck and rolling me over so I was facing him. I didn't protest; I longed for the physical contact, I needed the comfort and I was selfish enough to take it.

"So what's going on, babe?" he whispered in the dark.

Tired of the head games I'd been playing on myself, I decided to just jump right in. "I talked to my dad about you," I told him.

I felt him tense for a moment before he sighed and asked me to explain. And I did, I told him everything Charlie had said about him and he didn't interrupt me. He listened, and if not for the faint light coming in through the window I wouldn't have been able to see the blank expression on his face as he took in the words I was saying. We lay there for a moment in complete silence before he swallowed thickly and began to speak.

"Bella…" he said slowly, "do you believe him?"

I shrugged. "I don't know what to believe, Edward. I mean I _know_ you, I _trust_ you. But…" I trailed off.

"But what, Bella?" he implored.

"But how am I not supposed to believe Charlie when I hadn't even heard that stuff from you first?"

"Bella," he said pointedly, "I'm not that guy anymore. I used to be, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I was a fucking saint because I wasn't. But I'm not like that anymore. Have I used girls before? No, that was never my intention, but I guess on the outside looking in it appeared that way. But, regardless of all that bullshit, I would never, _ever_, do that to you, Bella. I didn't know any better then. But since I've been with you – since I first laid eyes on you – I stopped being that person because I wanted to be better; I wanted to be good enough for you. And goddamnit I've been trying, Bella – I've been trying so hard to earn the right to call you mine."

"Why didn't you tell me about all that, then?" I wasn't crying, surprisingly, but my voice was thick with emotion.

"Because who I used to be shouldn't matter," he retorted quickly, reaching over between us to cup my cheek in his rough, calloused hand. "All that matters is who I am now. But if I had known all this shit was gonna happen I _would_ have told you, I just didn't want you to hate me for who I used to be."

"I don't hate you," I whispered back as I reached for him as well, scooting my body closer to his so I could nestle into his firm chest, my sign that I had forgiven him. I believed him, truly I did. I just needed to hear everything from him personally and I knew once Charlie heard it and witnessed how Edward was with me he might change his mind. _Might_. I knew Charlie was stubborn as hell so we probably had our work cut out for us but at least we knew what we were up against.

Silence fell over us as we held each other in the darkness. It was several minutes before one of us spoke.

"So what now?" he asked as he absentmindedly ran his fingers through my hair. "Are we ok?"

I nodded against his chest. "We're ok. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you," I apologized.

Edward chuckled. "Next time just talk to me, you _gotta_ talk to me, Bella. You see how easy all this shit was to clear up? Isn't that what you girls are always bitching about, communication? Yeah, well, you need to work on your communication skills."

I looked at him with mock outrage. "Me!? What about you? If you had just told me about your past in the first place _none_ of this would have happened," I accused, only half serious.

"Oh, that's great," he said with a small smile. "Turn the blame on the guy, that's really rich, Bella. I'm… wounded. I'm leaving." He started to disentangle himself from me, but he was still smiling so I knew he was just messing around.

"Oh no, you're not going anywhere." I pulled him back to me. "I'm not done with you."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Oh no?"

"No," I whispered as wrapped my arms around his neck, his free hand trailing down to my hip where he began caressing slowly. I was suddenly aware of the fact that I was in just my boy shorts that I wore to bed and not much else. I hadn't even taken the time to observe what Edward was wearing. Even though it was frigid outside he had on only a pair of black basketball shorts and a grey t-shirt. A rather snug grey t-shirt. He must have left his house in such a rush that he didn't even think to change. I rarely saw Edward in shorts since it was still winter, I'd only seen him wear them when he was playing basketball or on the rare occasions we spent hold up in his room together. I wished for spring and summer to come quickly so he would wear them more often. I loved his legs. Edward was a big guy, not _big_ big and not quite muscular big but just… solid, I guess. He had nice, muscular calves from years of playing sports, and his legs were just as pasty as the rest of his body but the hair there was denser… the contrast was fascinating to look at. Who would have thought that I would find legs so attractive?

The sound of him chuckling tore me from my musings.

"What?" I asked, a little embarrassed that he had caught me ogling him.

"You're cute," he said simply before pressing his lips to mine softly. It was the first time I'd felt his lips on mine in what felt like ages and because of that- when our lips touched- I didn't want to pull away. So I didn't. I took his bottom lip between mine and sucked on it softly, the way I knew he liked it. I was rewarded with a deep moan from somewhere deep in his chest. His arm came around me, holding me infinitesimally closer to him. I ran my tongue along his lips and he finally pulled away.

"Mm, maybe we should fight more often," he giggled.

I furrowed my brow at him. "Why do you say that?" I really didn't know what he was talking about. How was fighting a good thing anyway?

His hand slid down my back until I felt it smooth over the swell of my butt.

Oh. Wow. The feeling of his hand on my rear end was… overwhelming, causing me to gasp and clench involuntarily under his touch. He noticed and continued to caress my ass, smirking at the fact that he'd evidently just found one of my "hot spots" as he called them. I had no idea such spots existed until Edward discovered them as he explored various parts of my body.

"If you're gonna kiss me like that afterwards then I'd say the fight was well worth it," he murmured as I tried not to whimper because he was still fondling my ass. With every pass the sensations remained just as intense as the first.

"Make up sex?" I asked, my mind so clouded that I couldn't stop the words before they came spewing out of my mouth. I froze once I realized what I had said.

Edward froze too and I looked at him and watched as his eyes widened. "You, uh… wanna…" he stuttered before composing himself, "I mean, I know you said you weren't ready. I told you I would wait and I meant that but we can… do… other stuff… right?" He had a little gleam in his eye as he asked.

He was so fucking cute. I loved that he was always so… polite… about our physical relationship. He had taken to letting me set the pace, never pushing me too far but he was encouraging at the same time, sometimes moving my hands where he wanted them or putting us in a better position but he was never forceful about it. He always gave me the option and I kind of loved him for that. I had told him I wasn't ready for sex yet, reminding him that it wasn't a not never, it was merely a not yet and thankfully he understood and respected the boundaries I set. Unfortunately, I was so inexperienced it was sometimes really hard to know what I wanted although I did know that lately our sessions left me wanting… more. I took matters into my own hands of course but even that was becoming unsatisfying knowing that Edward _could_ and probably _would_ be more than willing to help me out on that front. I was nearing my breaking point there too, obviously.

I really didn't need to think twice about it. I needed him. "Yeah," I managed to breathe before his mouth crashed onto mine in a searing kiss.

In an instant, he rolled on top of me and I spread my legs immediately, wanting him to get as close as he could. I doubted that I loved anything more than the feel of Edward on top of me. Perhaps it was the dominance of the position or the submission on my part, but I relished the feeling his weight on me, and I encouraged him to continue until our chests were flush against each other and I was pinned firmly between him and the mattress.

My hands flew to their favorite spot in his hair and I tugged on it the way I knew he liked, eliciting another one of those moans that went right to my core, causing me to whimper in response. I could barely feel him against my center and I writhed against him, trying to will him to lower his body to provide me with the beautiful friction his erection could give me. He knew what I was doing, of course, so he waited, teasing me. We had dry humped a lot the last couple of weeks but neither of us had reached a climax, we merely took each other to the edge but for whatever reason never closed the deal. I didn't know what it was; it just never happened. Not that it couldn't or wouldn't, I think Edward was just being careful with me… but tonight I wanted more. Just a little. A little release after days of tension sounded fan-fucking-tastic to me.

Edward continued his assault on my mouth and I tried to keep up but he was ravenous, more so than usual. Having missed him too and needing to show him, I pulled his shirt up his torso until he lifted himself up enough for me to pull it off and drop it over the edge of the bed. As his lips returned to mine my hands wandered over his back, running my fingers along the muscles and curves and dips until I found the swell of his ass, returning his earlier favor. He moaned as I gripped him and I shifted underneath him at the same time so that I was finally aligned where I wanted to be. And then he was there, hard and rigid between my legs. I squeezed his ass and he bucked his hips forward, finally giving me the friction I so craved. We both moaned at the sensation.

His mouth remained on me, on my lips, my neck, anywhere he could reach really. Both of us were panting and moaning and I was pretty sure I was at risk for hyperventilating or something as equally embarrassing. We had never made out quite like this, both of us in minimal clothing, him especially in those damned shorts leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. I could feel the head of his penis as it passed almost roughly over my clit at the fucking perfect angle and I was pretty sure I was purring like a kitten but I didn't care.

I found myself marveling at the size of him, usually he was in his jeans when we were in this position and I had yet to take him in my hands so I had no idea how big he really was until that moment. And God he felt so big. I was suddenly filled was an over powering urge to touch him, like, for real _touch_ him; I wanted to feel him in my hands, in my mouth, inside of me. I had never, ever, felt such a strong desire for anything and the intensity of it scared me a little bit, the desperation was extreme to the max and… fuck… he was driving me crazy. It was almost too much but in reality we weren't really even doing that much, it was just… intense.

Lost and nearly delirious at that point, I somehow managed to get snake a hand between our bodies, quickly dipping my hand into the waistband of his shorts. I didn't know where I got the courage to do what I was about to do but I was past asking questions and I definitely wasn't worried about the consequences. Edward broke away from my mouth when he realized what my intentions were and he hissed as my hand slid down and inside his boxer briefs. He lifted up on all fours to grant me better access and I watched his face as I reached for him. I had absolutely no idea what to expect as I'd never so much as seen a real life penis but as I took him, bare, in my hand there was warmth and smooth and hard… so hard. And he was big, definitely big; my hand barely fit around him. He moaned as I squeezed and pulled slowly, the smooth skin around his shaft sliding easily up and down as I stroked him.

He face was scrunched in what looked like pain but I knew better, and if his moans of obvious pleasure didn't alleviated any doubts I might have had, his words did. "Fuck, Bella," he panted, "That feels so fucking good."

Well at least I was doing it right, I thought to myself.

Encouraged by his words I quickened the pace of my actions until he was thrusting his hips in rhythm with my strokes. After a couple of minutes he tensed with a hushed warning, "You're gonna make me come." In one quick motion he pushed my shirt up my stomach to my chest, keeping his hand on my breast as he stiffened, erupting in my hand, all over my stomach where my shirt would have been. His load landed hot and slick on my skin and I was more than a little turned on by the feel of it.

Instinctively, I stroked him slowly as he came down from his climax until he removed my hand from him and fixed his shorts and underwear. He reached over to my night table where I kept a box of tissues, plucking a few out before cleaning me up and shoving the wadded tissue in his pocket, I guess so I didn't have to deal with disposing of it.

Well how sweet of him.

Without a word he leaned down and kissed me, slow and soft; I took it as I silent thank you. I felt a strange sense of empowerment at what had just transpired. I never doubted that Edward was attracted to me and turned on by our _activities_, but I didn't think I had such an effect that he would come so quickly.

His lips trailed down my throat and back up to my ear as he whispered, "Your turn." I could hear the smile in his voice.

I felt my eyes bug out at his words. _Ohholymotherofgod_.

"E-Edward… I dunno," I fumbled to find the words for what I was trying to say. Was I scared? Hell yes I was. Other than myself no one had ever made me climax and I had no idea what the difference would be but I was sure it would be much, much more intense.

"Shh… just let me…" He trailed off as he kissed his way down my body. I wanted to keep protesting but… well… I had no excuses; I was horny as fuck. And it wasn't like Edward had never touched me down there before, but this was different - obviously; this time he had a purpose, a goal- and I knew he wasn't going to stop until he reached it.

I held my breath as he rubbed his stubbled cheek against my stomach, his hands pulling on my shorts until I lifted my hips so he could remove them. I was thankful that I had the foresight to shave everything in the shower earlier. How embarrassing would it be if I hadn't?

Edward growl/moaned when he saw that I was bare, like _really_ bare. On his knees with my legs spread before him, he touched my sensitive mound softly, like it was something precious and fragile, and I whimpered when his fingers brushed me. Determined, with his eye on the prize, he placed long, wet, opened mouthed kisses on my thighs as he worked his way to my core. My breath hitched in anticipation. His scruff felt amazing on the sensitive skin of my legs and I wished I could moan for him the way I wanted to but, even in a state of heightened arousal, I was still mindful of the fact the Charlie was sleeping down the hall well within hearing range. Damn it all to hell.

Another thing I loved about Edward were his hands. Oh his hands and the things he could do with them. I loved watching him play his guitar or his piano. I would watch, transfixed, as his fingers skillfully slid along the keys and frets as he manipulated the instrument to expel the sound he desired. I knew he could do the same to me and I would gladly be his instrument for the night.

But Edward surprised me; instead of his fingers on me I was shocked when I felt his tongue lap at my clitoris. His fingers, at least, I had been prepared for, his mouth however was something totally unexpected. It kind of felt like I had been electrocuted and I jerked violently beneath him, desperately trying to contain the cry of pleasure that threatened to explode from my lips. I felt his warm breath fan over my sex as he chuckled at my reaction, bringing one of his hands up to my stomach to steady.

"Is this ok, baby?" he asked as his mouth hovered above me, again, giving me the option. I nodded my agreement, afraid of the things that would come out of my mouth if I tried to speak.

"Good," he murmured against my flesh. "You taste amazing," he whispered as he continued to work his mouth on me.

As I tried to catch my breath and not scream out his name he began using his other hand on me, using it along with his mouth in his quest to drive me fucking insane. Edward slipped one finger inside and I whimpered at the pressure. It wasn't uncomfortable and borderline painful as it had been last time and for that I was thankful; this time it actually felt really, really good. I threaded my fingers in his hair for leverage and to encourage him to keep going.

His tongue swirled in soft circles around my clit as his finger pumped in me slowly, his finger curling up slightly which enhanced the sensations on my clit. It was amazing, almost becoming too much and a part of me wanted to push his head and hands away and demand he stop because I didn't think I could handle it; I was sure I would come undone right then and there. But the other, the smarter part of me knew that what was coming was something powerful and beautiful and satisfying, so of course, that part of me won out and I let him continue.

I was already on the verge of oblivion when he started doing this crazy, indescribable thing with his tongue. It was something akin to vibration and I couldn't help but buck my hips up to him, my body instinctively seeking out more of whatever he was giving me.

I was there, like _right there, _on the fucking _brink_, silently begging him to stay right where he was, doing exactly what he was doing… and then he slipped another finger into me.

I came. Hard. Constricting around his fingers, my body tensed and the most beautiful, intense feeling flowed through me as I bit my tongue to keep the cries of pleasure at bay. It was all white lights and red bursts of passion so concentrated that I was pretty sure I blacked out for a second.

Knowing that it might be too much, Edward retracted his tongue but kept his fingers in me to ease me down from my high. When I could manage it I looked down at him settled between my legs to find him sporting that fucking sexy smirk of his.

The smug ass.

"Proud of yourself?" I rasped as I tried to get my breathing back to normal, smiling like an idiot I was sure. His mouth was definitely another thing I needed added to the list of things I loved about him.

He withdrew his fingers from me and crawled up the bed to lie at my side. "Quite," he whispered as he kissed my cheek and pulled me to him so that I was lying with my head on his chest. I hitched my leg over his thigh, a contented sigh escaping both of us as we enjoyed our post orgasmic moment of tranquility, the tension between us gone and forgotten.

"I'm gonna have to talk with your dad, aren't I?" he asked after a long time. I had thought he was asleep.

"Mmhmm." Changing Charlie's mind was the priority so we could finally just be together without all the complications that came with having to sneak around.

"And how exactly do you propose I do that?" He was rubbing up and down my arm, the comforting gesture quickly lulling me to sleep.

I shrugged. I really had no idea, and in light of everything that had been going on the last few days I wanted to deal with it later. Plus, at the moment I didn't have the mental capacity to handle anything but breathing. "We can figure it out tomorrow," I mumbled sleepily as I closed my eyes for the night.

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**A/N**

**Hmm. So... what'd ya think? It wasn't smut for smut's sake, I assure you. I just needed to give you guys something good before the shit hits the fan, so to speak. The next chap might make you hate me... just remember that you love Edward... and that I love you guys. **

**EPOV comin' up next time!  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N**

**Sorry for the hold up on this one, I turned 21 and then all of my friends birthdays followed lol. I've been drunk a lot lately and I can't really write drunk so yeah... my apologies. I have a feeling you're not gonna like me much after this so here it is.**

**All EPOV. Thanks to muh beta THEsnapcrakklepop.  
**

**The only thing I own is this fucked up plot line... and what I'm sure now is a fucked up liver.**

* * *

**EPOV**

For a while there I was beginning to think that Bella was really going to break up with me. She had distanced herself and I could see it in her face that she was troubled, but for whatever reason she wouldn't speak to me about it. I tried to figure out what I could have possibly done wrong but I was drawing a blank; we had been carrying on as we had been since the beginning and suddenly she was withdrawn and upset. It pissed me off more than anything as I racked my mind trying to figure out what the fuck her problem was but I was beginning to realize that women made no sense, so I just decided to give her some space to work it out. I would be there when she did and we'd fix it together but I wasn't about to pester her for information that she probably wouldn't give anyway.

It wasn't easy though. There were times when I almost gave in and went to her, begging for understanding, but my pride got in the way, and I let it. Sometimes I hated that I was so fucking stubborn but we both were, really, and I did not want to be the one that cracked first. It was our first "fight" - my first fight ever and I had no idea what I should have done to help the situation so I went to Emmett like I had before. He agreed with the whole "give her space" thing so I stuck with that.

It was fucking Wednesday when she called me, almost a fucking week later but when my phone rang, playing the personal ringtone I had set for her, I jumped at it – literally; nearly falling off my bed in my rush to get to it. When she said we needed to talk it felt like my heart had fallen out of my chest, and it took a second but I knew that I had to see her right away. I knew she was going over shit in her mind and I didn't want to give her any time to dwell on it – whatever it was – for any longer than was completely necessary. I told her I was headed over and I bolted out the front door, not really giving a shit that I was just in some shorts and a t-shirt. Luckily, my parents were both heavy sleepers and their room was on the second floor toward the back of the house so they wouldn't have heard me leave, but that wasn't my concern either.

I climbed that fucking tree faster than a goddamned squirrel in my haste to get to her. I nearly busted my ass in the process but I made it unscathed. I didn't even realize I was freezing until I was teetering on that fucking limb waiting for Bella to open the window for me.

I wrapped her up immediately, needing her to understand that I was still in this regardless of the reason she was upset. I needed her to know that we would land on our feet at the end of it and that I wasn't mad or upset with her, that I still wanted her. I had begged her not to leave me before I even knew what I was saying but that didn't mean the words weren't sincere- I _didn't_ want her to leave me. Bella had quickly – like scary quickly – become one of, if not _the_, most important things in my life; I didn't know what I would do without her by my side. She chilled me out and made me laugh and made me want to be things I never thought I could be. She challenged me mentally and emotionally, making me think and making me feel things I had never even knew I wanted to feel. She made me live. But really she didn't make me _do_ anything; I did all of those things because I wanted to… for her. She inspired me.

I laid us down and when she told me why she had been so upset with me I got pissed because I should have figured that's what was wrong. I knew eventually my past would come back to bite me in the ass and I knew I should have broached the subject with her sooner but I just could never bring myself to do it. Who I am hated who I had been and I couldn't bring myself to face my past. And I suffered the consequences, nearly losing the most important thing in my life because I was a stubborn fuck. Thankfully I was able to explain myself and fix my mistake. I felt like I owed God some sort of cosmic favor or some shit and I was more than grateful.

I really didn't expect things to happen the way they did physically, either. Not that I was complaining or anything, of course not, I fucking loved it. Granted, it was just a hand job but it definitely fell under the top five orgasms I'd ever had. Her touch was tentative, inexperienced, and a little insecure but fuck it felt good. And I'd never given oral before but I'd seen enough porn to know what to do, I was more than happy to find that I was a natural at it apparently; it was a nice little ego boost.

I waited until Bella was asleep before sneaking back out her window and then back into my house. I slept pretty contented that night.

Two days later it was Friday, Valentine's Day, and there was a lot of shit going down that night. Before our fight Bella and I had come to a mutual agreement that we wouldn't be attending the Valentine's Day dance for various reasons, hers was that she didn't dance and didn't want to get all dressed up and mine was that I didn't give a shit one way or the other. It would have been a good time to socialize as a couple in public and spend quality time with our friends but, in reality, I didn't want to share her with anyone that night, as I had other plans.

It was my first V-day with a girlfriend and I had a fucking weird ass girlfriend so it was even more complicated than I had feared. I didn't know what to get her, she didn't like jewelry and she wasn't big on chocolate. One day I brought up flowers and she had given a very convincing speech about how flowers were pointless because no matter how much you cared for them they always ended up dying. So all of the simple, easy options were out the window and that left me in a huge fucking pickle. I should have been used to her making me work for everything but, _shit_, give a guy a break! I had no idea what I was going to give her and I only hoped she was having the same problem that way we could be fail together, at least. I did have a plan though.

Emmett and Rose paraded around in the living room as my mom took a billion pictures, gushing about how cute they were and how much she wished I was going so she could take pictures of me and my date. She shot me this look that clearly said I needed to hurry up and make introductions before she got nosy. I knew my mom was anxious to meet my girl and in all honesty I was too. I knew she would love Bella and vice versa, they were both such warm and loving people I couldn't imagine them not getting along.

Sometimes I felt like Bella was getting the short end of the stick with me; introducing her to my parents would be totally uncomplicated and it killed me that it wasn't so easy the other way around. Her mom, maybe, but definitely not the chief, and even if we could somehow convince him to give me a chance to prove myself, that chance would last as long as our relationship did. As soon as I fucked up –even just a little bit – he would be on me. And even if he let us see each other there was always going to be something hanging over my head, no matter how much I proved myself I knew it would never be quite enough. But that was something I was just going to have to deal with and I was more than willing to accept that if it meant that I got to keep Bella.

Not long after Em and Rose left my parents were walking out the door themselves, having their own plans for the night. That left me with an empty house, just as I had been hoping for. I pushed off the couch and went in to the kitchen to set everything up.

I boiled some stuff, cut some other shit up, and waited a while before the dinner I had planned was ready. I placed it in the oven so it could finish cooking and then grabbed my phone, pulling up Bella's number as I placed the dirty pots and pans in the dish washer. Yes, my mother taught me well. I checked the time as I brought the phone up to my ear and noted I was five minutes ahead of schedule.

I called Bella and warned her that she had about fifteen minutes to get ready before I picked her up. I ran upstairs and jumped in the shower, rubbing one out quickly, you know, just in case. I didn't want to dress up too much since I had told Bella not to worry about it and I didn't want to make her feel like she was underdressed. I decided on a green button down, a dark pair of jeans and some Nikes. I let Jake outside and made my bed before I left to retrieve my date for the evening.

The chief was on duty for the night so I didn't have to worry about him seeing me when I picked her up. I wanted to go to the door to get her but, impatient as always, Bella came out before I could even turn the car off. I smiled at her as she buckled up her seat belt.

There was a light drizzle outside and her hair held a few drops of moisture that I felt myself staring at for no apparent reason.

"What?" she asked as she looked over herself, self-consciously. She had no need to be though as she looked fucking fantastic.

"We're matching," I said on the spot as I realized we were both wearing a shade of green, jeans, and dark shoes. Her dark green zip-up hoodie was a tighter fit than she normally wore and I took my time admiring the way it complemented her figure. "And you look amazing," I added.

She blushed and kind of rolled her eyes at me. "I'm just wearing a sweater, Edward. If anyone looks amazing it's you," she said dismissively.

"It may just be a sweater but you're wearing the shit out of it, babe," I said as I leaned across the center console and kissed her softly. "And thanks." Bella was never good at taking compliments so I left it at that, I knew if I kept talking about how sexy she looked she'd just get shy and quiet on me. She enjoyed it more when I showed her physically how attractive I found her to be, anyway.

By the time we made it back to my house dinner was ready so I had Bella sit down while I set up the table. I had thought about sneaking a bottle of wine from my mom's stash to be all romantic and shit but wine tasted like ass and, regardless, my parents would notice if took any of the alcohol they kept in the house. So, I just settled on making a pitcher of sweet tea. I set the casserole on the table and poured our drinks as Bella looked on with wide eyes.

"What?" I asked as I sat down next to her at the head of the table.

She raised her eyebrows and took a sip of her tea. "Nothing… did you do all of this by yourself?" she asked skeptically.

I would have been a little affronted by her question but Bella had never seen me so much as make a sandwich for myself so I understood why she would doubt me. "Yeah, it's not much, really." I reached over and filled a plate with a spoonful of casserole and placed it in front of her.

"I didn't know you could cook," she said as she speared a noodle with her fork. "What is it?" she asked.

"I don't know the exact name for it but it's, like, a chicken Alfredo casserole or something," I mumbled as I stuff a fork full into my mouth. "It's the only thing that I've watched my mom cook so much that I can make it myself," I chuckled.

I watched excitedly as she took a little taste of it; I didn't blame her, I'd be a little apprehensive too. It must have been good because that little taste led to a couple of mouthfuls which were accompanied by moans of pleasure.

"Mm, Edward, this is really good," she said as she wiped her mouth with her napkin. She looked at me, her big brown eyes full of wonder and… something else. I smiled. I had really wanted this to be perfect and the fact that she liked my cooking was just fucking fantastic.

When we'd had our fill Bella helped me clear the table and place the rest of the dishes in the washer before we headed up to my room. I didn't have any ulterior motives by taking her upstairs; it was just the only place that felt even a little bit like _ours_. It was in my room that I had asked her to be mine and she had said yes. We spent our first night together in my bed and there were times when we'd had some of the deepest conversations of our relationship in that same bed. And then I just liked having her in my space, it's like she just fit there.

We ended up on the bed, as usual, but it was innocent. Bella let Jake out of his kennel and he jumped up on her, licking her face and nuzzling against her like he was a damned cat. I put a movie on just for background noise before joining them on my bed. Jake had gotten into the habit of lying between us so he could nab both of our attention at the same time. I had to give it to the little shit; he knew how to play the game. I loved watching Bella play with Jake- he'd liked her from the beginning and he was such an attention whore for her I think if he had it his way Bella would be rubbing his belly forever. I let them play for a bit but grew tired of the barrier of him between us and shooed him away after a while.

"Hey," I whispered as I pulled her to me.

"Hey," she whispered back as she tucked her bottom lip into her mouth. I watched as she watched my mouth for a moment before she leaned up and took my bottom lip between hers and sucked it into her mouth gently.

I moaned and shifted a little so I could get my arm under neck to pull her into my chest. Her hands came up and into my hair as I found the bare skin of her waist. She pulled away before we could go much further.

"I have a plan," she said as she pushed on my shoulder.

I wanted to say fuck her plan but then I realized what the hell she was talking about. "What's your plan?"

She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling as she explained. "Charlie wants me to go fishing with him tomorrow and I agreed to go with him. I figure it would be a good time to tell him about us. I mean, if he doesn't want to hear it we'll be on a freakin' boat so it's not like he can just walk away, you know?"

Not a horrible idea. I don't know how I felt about Bella being on the water all day, knowing her clumsy ass she was likely to get caught up in a line and get dragged under. But then again she was going with the chief and I doubted he would just let her fucking drown. "What are you gonna tell him?" I asked as my hand wandered to the exposed skin of her stomach.

"The truth: that we've been seeing each other for a while and that regardless of how you were before, you've always treated me with respect. I figure that even if I can't convince him you should come over on Sunday and speak with him personally. I think if we both come at him at the same time he'll cave. And if not then at least we tried."

"That's not a bad idea… but… fishing, really?" I teased.

"Oh shut up! I've been before," she said as she playfully swatted my hand away from her.

"What about Cheney's party tomorrow night?" I asked. Ben Cheney was throwing his Valentine's Day party a day late but it was still the most anticipated party of the weekend since Emmett and I chose to hold off on our next soirée until St. Patrick's Day. Plus, it was nice to just attend a party as opposed to hosting one.

"I don't know what time we'll get back or what kind of mood Charlie will be in but I'll try to make it," she said.

"I don't know I if I wanna party without you, though," I pouted, pulling her back to face me on her side.

"Oh you poor baby. How ever did you get drunk when I wasn't around to hold your hand?"

"I used to get _too_ drunk, that was the problem. But if you were there I'd be too concerned with taking care of you than getting shit-faced; you keep me centered and focused. Plus I like it when you're drunk, you let me do dirty things to you."

"Oh really? Was I drunk the other night?"

"Well, no, but you _were_ suffering from withdrawal."

"Withdrawal?" she asked, confused.

"Yeah, withdrawal from me; it'd been awhile since I'd last touched you, remember?" I teased.

"'Cause you're so irresistible," she said sarcastically as she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close for a slow, sensual kiss.

We relished each other for a few minutes before she pulled away from me again. This time I actually growled at her as she sat up against the head board.

"I have your gift," she said as she reached into her back pocket. She reached for my hand and opened up my hand, placing whatever it was in my palm before closing my fingers again. It was cool and hard so I assumed it was some kind of metal, a necklace perhaps. "It's not much but I thought of you when I saw it. It felt like it belonged with you."

I opened up my hand slowly, honestly a little scared and nervous. What if I didn't like it? How was I going to fake it if I didn't? But I stopped thinking when I looked down at what was in my palm. It was a black, stainless steel ring with little green symbols emblazed around the circumference of it. The symbols were music notes. I. Fucking. Loved. It. It was a black ring, which in and of itself was pretty fucking cool, and it also show cased my love of music. It was a little on the small side but Bella had remedied that by hanging it from a simple silver chain. It was obvious it wasn't going to fit on any of my fingers but that wasn't important, I would wear that fucking chain around my neck for-fucking-ever I loved it so much. It was so personal especially since Bella knew exactly how much I loved music, it was something I didn't tell just anyone and I actually, physically, shared it with even fewer people than that. When I played I literally bared my soul for whoever was witnessing and that was a really personal experience, almost religious in a way, which was why I was so selective about who I played for.

I must have been quiet for longer than I thought because Bella mistook my silent pondering for something else. "You don't have to wear it, like I said it's not much. They didn't even have any bigger sizes and I knew it wouldn't fit you, that's why I got the chain. Plus you probably wouldn't want to wear a ring anyway – not that a necklace is any better – but I just thought that maybe-"

"Bella."

"… It would be better that way; I'm not sure what guys think about jewelry. I thought about getting you another game for your DS but I didn't know which ones you already had and I didn't want to get the wrong one – "

"Bella!" I yelled since she was so lost in her rambling that she hadn't heard me. I reached over and cupped her cheeks in my hands, pulling her face to mine so I could kiss her – and shut her up. I pulled away and rested my forehead on hers as I spoke. "I fucking love it, Bella. It's perfect. Thank you, babe."

Silently, she took the ring from my hand and pulled the chain over my head. Once it was in place around my neck she took a second to admire the way it looked on me. Suddenly, I felt a tug on the back of my neck and I was being pulled forward gently by the chain she had just placed there. Mmm, yes, I definitely loved that fucking chain.

We were ravenous, pulling at each other and pushing until we were in a position that suited us both. I loved that my girl liked being underneath me, that she let me dominate her freely in that manner; it was such a fucking turn on. Especially when she started that writhing shit, God, that was nice.

When things started getting really heated I needed to calm down a bit so I let my mind wander and I couldn't help but think about what a douche I was that I didn't get her an actual gift. I mean, I was a really hard person to shop for too but she had done it and done a great fucking job at that. I was a horrible boyfriend, my gift was so shitty. She was going to hate me once she found out what it was.

"What's wrong?" she asked from under me. I didn't realize I had stopped kissing her until she spoke.

I thought about lying and making some shit up but I didn't want to do that. I just wanted to be honest. "I didn't get you a gift," I admitted.

"That's ok," she said and tried to pull me back down to her.

"No, it's not ok. You got me a fucking great gift and I don't have anything to give back to you." I rolled off of her and sat up, dragging myself up against the headboard.

"Nothing?" she asked. Her tone suggested she was a little disappointed in me as well.

"Well, no – not nothing," I said as I ran a hand though my hair. "Nothing tangible at least…" It was kind of a moment of truth, a now or never kind of thing. I locked eyes with her before I told her what my gift was. "I was going to play a song for you… one of my favorites." I got up before she could say anything and grabbed my acoustic from its stand in the corner of my room. I sat back down in front of her, our knees almost touching as we faced each other. I checked a couple of chords to be sure it was in tune before I started playing. Bella didn't say anything as I started to play and I was grateful, I didn't want to lose my nerve. I was admittedly a little scared- I was about to fucking serenade my girlfriend for fuck's sake!

I let the music take over as my fingers found their way along the frets. I played the intro twice before I felt it was the right time to start singing. Some people thought singing and playing at the same time was difficult but if you just let the words flow through you, if you let them interact with the melody, then it was easier.

I kept my eyes closed as I played.

_I'll be your man_

_And I'll understand_

_And I'll do my best_

_To take good care of you_

_You'll be my queen_

_I'll be your king_

_And I'll be your lover too_

_Yeah yeah_

_Yes I will_

_Derry down green_

_Color of my dream_

_A dream that's daily coming true._

_And ohhh when the day is through_

_I will come to you and take you on_

_Your many charms_

_And girl you look at me_

_With eyes that see_

_And we'll melt into each other's arms_

_You'll be my queen_

_And I'll be your king_

_And I'll be your lover too_

Fuck, I kind of forgot the verse before the last but I didn't think Bella would notice. I let the chords fade out and looked up at Bella. I wasn't expecting what I saw. She was crying, like, tears were running down her beautiful face. And she was looking at me… that same look from earlier. I set my guitar on the floor and went to her, taking her face in my hands and wiping those fucking tears away. It was that look, that look that did me in - there was so much passion in her eyes, so much emotion that I didn't need her to spell it out for me, I understood if she couldn't.

I kissed her. For a long time. We rolled all over my bed, shoving Jake to the side when he was in the way but for the most part never parting. I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't want things to go further than just kissing but it wasn't important at the moment. I was grateful for what little of herself she had already given me physically and I wasn't going to rush her. I loved her. I didn't believe it – I fucking _knew_ it; it just _was_. I didn't want to let her go when the movie ended, I didn't want to let her go when the alarm on her phone went off, signaling us that she had thirty minutes before the chief got home, and I still didn't want to let her go when I kissed her goodnight on her front porch. It felt like everything had shifted and she was the center of my existence, it was a little scary. But I wanted it.

I didn't tell her then, though. And I don't know why, I guess I just wanted it to be right and for some reason it didn't feel right to say it to her just then. Instead I kissed her again and hoped that it was enough, at least for that night.

It had been a while since I had gotten drunk. It was late, I was bored and felt like partying so I called up Jazz.

"I'm gettin' in my truck now, I'll be there in five," he said and then hung up before I could even say anything at all.

Fucking perfect.

I hadn't heard from Bella since this morning before she left with the chief but she told me to go ahead and go to the party and she'd try to make it. I doubted she would because she would probably be really tired so I wasn't too hopeful. I didn't really want to go without my girl but she said it was ok and I figured Jazz had my back if I got too drunk.

I rode with Jazz and Alice because I didn't want to drive home wasted and fuck my shit up. Everyone was at that fucking party, I ran into my brother and Rose at some point and spent some time chatting with the baseball team about the upcoming season before we started playing beer pong. That's when shit started getting fuzzy.

I know I won every game I played, partner or not, but that a few games had been pretty close so I think I drank more than I thought I did. I know I took a couple of Jager shots and I know I did at least one keg stand. When I started slurring and stumbling I took a time out in Cheney's living room, knowing my limit was fast approaching. God knows how long I sat there but I grew restless after a while and in my drunken state stumbled into the kitchen while they were doing beer bongs. I don't remember actually taking the bong but I do remember staggering into the bathroom, cutting in front of some chick that was already half way through the door. She said something to me in an aggressive tone and I slurred an apology as I shut the door in her face.

After taking the fattest piss ever I wanted a cigarette. I fumbled with my pack of Camels until one of them fell to the floor and I had to bend over to pick it up, nearly falling flat on my face in the process.

Yeeeeah, I needed to stop. I was too gone.

I stumbled out onto the back deck which was now void of any partiers since beer pong was still going on inside. I sat and smoked a couple of cigarettes, enjoying the dizzy feeling I got from adding Nicotine to the mix of substances already in my body. I was about to get up and find Jazz and Alice to tell them we needed to go when I felt the bench shift as someone sat down next to me. I looked over and was surprised to find it was Jessica Stanley that was gracing me with her presence.

"Hello, Jessica!" I said, normal in my mind, but I was sure I was probably screaming at her, and slurring no doubt.

"Are you drunk, Edward Cullen?" she asked, kind of playfully.

"Fuck yeah I'm drunk, aren't you? Or haven't you had enough Smirnoff Ices?" I teased, chuckling at my own bad joke. Girls and their fucking Smirnoffs.

"I'm not nearly as drunk as I would like to be," she said, sounding like she was fucking miles away.

I was starting to fade – fast. I could feel myself slipping away and I felt like I was going to pass out soon. I needed to find Jazz.

I tried to get up, I really did but I couldn't. I sat up and got maybe four inches off the seat before I lost my balance and plopped back down. Fuck.

Suddenly I felt weight in my lap as Jessica straddled me unexpectedly.

Oh shit! That's not good.

"Jess, get off!" I sounded weak as I tried to move her off of me.

"I want to," she murmured before she attacked my mouth with her own. Even in my drunken state I understood her innuendo.

I struggled, I know I did, but she wouldn't stop. And I couldn't help it; I felt my mouth moving against my will and a familiar stirring in my pants. Fuck, no!

I managed to pull away, finally but Jess was on her shit. Before I knew what was happening her hand flew to my crotch where she was more than thrilled with what she found there.

"God, I forgot how big you are, Edward." No, her voice was all wrong, that wasn't my girl touching me. I tried to move but her hand squeezed me and cupped me in all the right places. The girl's hands felt so goddamned good on my dick and I couldn't control my body's reaction even though I knew I needed to get away. I moaned.

She must have taken my moan as an affirmation because the next thing I knew my jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped and my bare dick was met with a cold breeze before the head was completely engulfed in searing wet heat. Oh fuck, that felt nice. But wait… no, it's not right… everything was still so blurry and I felt like I was going to fall even though I was sitting down. I was too fucked up.

What the fuck was going on?

I forced my eyes open and looked down. I didn't realize my hand had found its way into her hair, holding her in place over my dick which was wet and glistening in the moonlight as she worked her mouth on me.

As Jessica worked her mouth on me.

Fuck, no, Edward! WRONG!

Gathering what little control I had left, I pulled her head up, probably a little rougher than was necessary but I was too fucking drunk to handle any of this shit.

And then I heard it. Not too far away, a gasp, a sudden intake of breath, one sound from one person that I would recognize anywhere, in any state.

Bella.

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**A/N**

**::ducks for cover::**

**I know, guys, I know. I'm sorry. I'm working on it, I promise.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N**

**Alright here's Bella's side of that night. Ugh. It was kinda hard for me since I, personally, would have handled things a lot differently. Hope it's not too rough.**

**Thanks to muh beta Snapcrakklepop who is currently with child, so let's all congratulate and wish her good health and all the best, k? Also, anything grammatically or otherwise wrong is all on me, I was fucked up a majority of the time I wrote and edited this installment lol. My bad, guys. Such is life. **

**As much as I wish I did, I do not own Twilight or these characters, I merely get them drunk and high at my convenience. **

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**CPOV**

I hadn't taken Bella fishing since she was little, not since Renee left. But I used to take her all the time. I used to wake her up super early in the morning and once on the water she used to sit in the boat looking a little bored until I got a bite on my line. Once I was in action she would perk up and cheer me on until I hauled the sucker in and held it out for her to see. It was cute and I missed it - I missed Bella. Even though we lived together and were working on our relationship we never really spent time together outside of the house, which was why I suggested the fishing trip. I didn't think she would agree, figuring that any teenage girl would balk at the mention of spending the day out on the water, stuck on a boat with their father reeking of fish and sweat. But much to my surprise she actually seemed excited about it and wanted to go.

It was one of those too good to be true kinds of things.

I gathered the essentials and loaded up the old Chevy I used for such trips. The truck was old as fuck but it still ran great and was as durable as anything I'd ever seen. I was thinking about passing it down to Bella. I doubt it was what she envisioned her first car to be but thankfully Bella wasn't a vain person, so I was pretty sure she would take it. Besides, a car was a car; pretty or not it would get her to and from where she needed to go. Plus, it was such a faded red it was almost pink… girls liked pink right?

The ride to the river was filled with a somewhat awkward silence which didn't give me much hope for how the rest of the day was going to go. Although, it could have been attributed to the fact that we were both still mostly half asleep - or half awake depending on how you view things. Once we were on the water it got better. Bella started asking me questions about fishing and I told her stories of when she was younger. She laughed when I told her about the time she fell off the boat thinking she could catch a fish with her hands and how when I tried to pull her back into the boat she had been so scared and desperate that she dragged me into the water with her. I made her wear a life vest after that, and I taught her how to swim.

Throughout the afternoon I had a few catches but nothing major, just the normal pull. Bella even caught one, it was the most adorable thing I'd seen her do since she was a toddler. She freaked out when her line tugged and she started, like, flailing around trying to reel the fucker in. I just sat back and watched as I shouted words of encouragement and advice at her. When she finally drew the fish out of the water she about lost her shit.

"What the eff is this? It's like a baby fish," she said as she stared down at the little Yellow Perch still dangling from the hook. She was looking at it like it should have been a fifteen pound Steelhead, disappointed.

I laughed. "It's just a common Perch. I usually just throw those back in." I pulled out my phone and snapped a quick picture of Bella and her little friend before I unhooked it and tossed it back in the water. I watched as it swam away, off to live another day.

We stayed on the water until the early evening, having spent the better part of six hours on the boat. I was actually surprised that we managed to maintain a somewhat steady flow of conversation and that I had so much fun. Bella seemed to really, honestly enjoy it too, which, in turn, made me even more thrilled. But just as I was thinking about packing up and heading for land, hunger and restlessness setting in, Bella dropped a bomb on me

"I've been dating Edward Cullen," she said out of no-fucking-where.

I had been turned around closing up the tackle box, and I turned back slowly, not really sure I had heard her right because there was no fucking way she said what I thought she just said. "What?"

I was pretty sure the look on my face gave way to how I was feeling because she actually recoiled a bit as she struggled to continue. She looked away, at the water, the floor of the boat, her hands, everywhere but my face.

"We started seeing each other a week after I moved here."

Wha… I… But… How could…

Jesus fuck! I couldn't even form a coherent thought I was so… reeling. There was anger and hurt and confusion along with a shit load of what the fuck? I knew something was going on, I knew she had been keeping things from me, but this? It was like my worst nightmare coming true, my beautiful teenage daughter was probably being defiled by the one useless hooligan I couldn't stand.

"Bella…" I warned.

She held up a hand to stop me before I started. "Before you go off can you listen to what I have to say?"

No. I didn't want to fucking listen to shit; I didn't give a fuck what she had to say. But she kept talking anyway.

"I know you don't like him but that's only because you don't really know him. I didn't know what to think of him either at first, but the more time we spent together and the more I got to know him I understood that the… face, I guess… that he puts on in front of other people is just that – a mask." She paused to collect her thoughts and I don't know what was worse, the words she was saying or the look on her face as she said them. Whatever was going on between them I could tell by her expression, which gushed infatuation and adoration, that she was smitten with Cullen. "Dad, I wish you could see how he is with me. He's never mistreated me or disrespected me in anyway; I've always felt safe with him. He's actually kind of a gentleman most of the time… when he remembers," she laughed. Her smile faded quickly and her tone grew serious again. "But I know you don't trust him and he told me why, he told me everything."

"And you believe him?" I asked, half outraged and half exasperated.

She nodded. "I'm sure you think I'm naïve for it but yes, I believe him. I know you don't understand why and I'm not asking you to right now. Edward knows it's going to take some convincing and we…" I hated hearing her use the phrase "we" as it pertained to Edward Cullen and I fought back a grimace. "… understand that it's going to take time for you accept it and all I'm asking of you is to just give him a chance. And trust me; trust that I know what I'm doing. Please."

Ugh, that fucking "please". If that didn't ruin me it was her fucking logic. It would have been so easy to just say no and forbid her from seeing Cullen ever again but what good would that really do? They'd keep seeing each other anyway; they'd just keep sneaking around behind my back and lying to me, so what was the point? They'd just end up pissing me off more and more, probably to the brink of violence. It would cause another rift in the already damaged tapestry that was my relationship with Bella. But not if I took the harder road to travel, a road that required me to allow that little prick to court my daughter, a road that called for me to swallow my pride and be the bigger person.

Fucking. Bullshit.

I must have taking longer to answer than Bella had the patience for and when she tried to continue I just held up my hand and stopped her. I needed to think about it and I didn't want her to add anything to her argument; I had enough information. I absentmindedly got us back to the dock, unloaded the boat, and packed the gear into the truck, my thoughts nowhere near the task at hand.

The thing was that I did trust her but him I did not. If I said no that would get none of us anywhere, anyway. Damned if I did, damned if I didn't. Could I even handle seeing them together? How was I going to ever get used to the idea of them together? If she brought him over for dinner I'd have to sit there and watch them interact, could I just sit there and hold my tongue?

I spent the ride back home in a rather blank state, there weren't even that many thoughts running through my mind I was just at a loss. Bella remained quiet as well, looking out the window at the passing forest.

I could try. I could _try _to handle everything. But I didn't _want_ to. I didn't want to have to see him on a regular basis. I didn't want to see them together all happy and cozy and comfortable. I didn't want this to be happening at all.

When Renee was pregnant with Bella we didn't know the sex until she came out screaming. Like most men I had wanted a boy, for many reasons. I had dreaded the thought of having a girl because I didn't think I could handle it, with the dresses and the pink shit and then once puberty hit, the menstrual cycle and then… the boys. I still shuddered at the thought. With a boy I thought it would be easier, I mean, it would have been simple when it came to girls; I would only have to remind him to wrap it up and be safe. I would have known what to do with a son. With Bella it was different, I was too protective of her and yet not enough at the same time. I felt like I had to be hard on her so she would be more careful. But was that really the best way to go about it? Maybe I wasn't giving her enough credit. She was a smart girl after all; she had a good head on her shoulders. Maybe she did know what she was doing. And even if she didn't, I was beginning to realize that sometimes you have to let them make mistakes on their own before they understand how things really work. It would be hard, watching her fall if things went downhill, but you have to live and learn… right?

It was dark by the time we pulled into our driveway. I cut the engine but made no move to get out, Bella didn't either. I sighed, feeling like I really had no choice in the matter, defeated.

I rubbed my hand down my face and looked out the window, not wanting to look at her as I agreed to this atrocity.

"One chance, Bel. One. Either of you fucks up, it's over. And we're not gonna do this every day bullshit, if he wants to come over every now and then that fine but not every day."

"Are you at least going to be nice to him?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes and looked at her. "Just because I'm tolerating it doesn't mean I like it. But I'll treat him with the same respect he offers me."

"Can he come over for dinner tomorrow?" she asked excitedly.

Ugh, was she serious? I just agreed to it and she was already trying to invite him for dinner? "Yeah, I guess that would be… alright." I put on a fake smile for her and before I could think she shot into my arms and wrapped herself around me in a tight hug. I couldn't remember the last time she had hugged me so forcefully. I hugged her back before she pulled away, wanting to bask in the affection she seldom gave.

"Thank you. I promise you won't regret giving Edward a chance. He was so afraid that you wouldn't."

"Yeah, well he had every right to worry. I'm only doing this for you. Be sure he knows that," I said seriously as I finally got out of the truck. I hauled all the gear inside as Bella made some phone calls, to who I didn't want to know. I was trying to do the whole ignorance is bliss bullshit.

Once I had everything packed away I grabbed a beer from the fridge and took my place on the couch, tuning in to SportsCenter to check the score of the Mariners game. We lost to Texas five to one. _Just great_. Bella came and sat down next to me after a while and she sat with me until the segment was over.

"No plans tonight?" I asked, mostly just to pass time during the commercials.

"Alice wanted me to go over and stay the night but I told her I was spending the day with you," she said.

Wait a second. Was she really passing on her friends for me? Even though we were through with our plans? I was touched but it was the weekend, she should be out with her friend not cooped up at home with me. I told her as much.

"Are you sure? It's kind of late, no?" she asked skeptically.

"I mean if you don't wanna go…"

"No, no, I wanna go but only if it's cool with you."

I looked at her like she was stupid. "Wasn't I the one that suggested it? Besides it's not really that late."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said as she stood up. "I'm gonna call Alice so she can pick me up."

"Here, just take the truck," I said as I reached into my pocket for the keys.

Bella paused mid-stretch and asked, "Are you serious?"

"You have your license right?" She nodded her head. "Then yes, I'm serious. Take it." I handed the keys out to her and she reached for them tentatively. It was kind of funny - the look on her face – I bet she thought I was going crazy. I knew Bella was a good driver; Renee had asked me pay for half the cost of driving school and had assured me that Bella was ready before I agreed. I never asked who taught her to drive - I'd just hoped it wasn't her mother- but the fact that she had, in fact, passed both the written and the driving portion with flying colors eased my worries significantly. Plus, even if she got into an accident in that truck the other car wouldn't even put a ding in it; I wasn't worried.

It never crossed my mind that maybe I _should_ have been worried, but for a whole other reason.

**BPOV**

Ok, so I wasn't going to Alice's house but I was going to see Alice, and Jasper, and Edward. So I wasn't totally lying to Charlie. I couldn't believe that he was being so cool about everything. It kind of made me paranoid a little bit. What if he was, like, watching me or having me watched or something? It was a ridiculous thought though. I was pretty sure he was just trying to give me the benefit of the doubt; I couldn't stomach the thought that he just flat out trusted me since I was downright lying to his face on a daily basis. I was such a bad daughter, always lying and scheming and telling half truths, sometimes without a real reason. I briefly wondered what had happened to me trying to be a better daughter. I felt like I was slacking given that Charlie seemed to really be trying to make changes and I was still acting the same. I felt like I was taking advanta-

_Can't read my,_

_Can't read my_

_No he can't read my poker face_

My phone buzzed in my pocket as the sound of Alice's ringtone filled the cab of the truck.

"What's up?" I answered wedging my phone between my shoulder and my head so I could still shift gears if I needed to.

"Are you coming or what? And no not in the good way," she responded quickly. I couldn't help but smile, Alice knew that my mind was in the gutter, especially lately.

"I'm actually on my way. Is Edward still there?" I hadn't told Edward I was going to the party after all, I wanted to surprise him. I knew he had ridden with Jasper and Alice but he tended to wander and drift at parties, doing his own thing and socializing even with me at his side, so there was a good chance he could have left already with some other friends. If I was being honest I didn't like the idea of Edward out, drunk off his ass with his friends I didn't know so well; the people he and Jasper used to run around with before they settled down a bit. They both had endless stories about their delinquent years and all the shenanigans they used to get into, and if Edward was drunk enough and not supervised he was likely to return to his old behavior.

"Yeah, I just saw him heading into the bathroom. He cut in front of some chick that had been waiting in line forever. It was pretty funny." I could hear people around Alice talking, it sounded pretty rowdy.

"How drunk should I expect him to be?" I asked as I pulled into the street, squinting my eyes to read the house numbers on the mailboxes.

"Oh, he's pretty drunk. I wouldn't say he's totally wasted but he's definitely drunk," she informed me.

"Good to know," I said as I hopped out of the truck. "I just got here. Where is he now?"

"I think he just went out on the back deck – hat!" she shouted suddenly. "Oh, sorry, Bella, we're playing a game," she laughed.

I chuckled. "It's ok. He probably went for a smoke. I'm gonna head around back and surprise him. I'll see you in a few," I said before hanging up and walking around the side of Cheney's house toward the backyard. I was really excited to surprise Edward and then tell him the good news about Charlie's decision. I knew Edward still didn't totally like the idea of spending time with my dad any more than Charlie did, but I was touched that he was actually willing to do it. Plus, I really just wanted to see him because I missed him more than I probably should have.

I kind of felt like a creeper as I walked alongside the house in the darkness, trying to sneak up on Edward without being seen, but before I reached the back of the house I stopped when I heard voices. One of them was definitely Edward's but I wasn't close enough to hear what he was saying or who he was talking to. Not one to eavesdrop, I rounded the corner of the house only to stop dead in my tracks when I saw what was unfolding in front of me.

It was like I noticed everything at once, Edward's head lulled back slightly, the girl kneeling between his legs, his hand knotted her hair. The girl had her back to me so I couldn't actually see what she was doing but it was pretty fucking obvious she had my boyfriend's dick in her mouth. And he was letting her, encouraging her even. I couldn't believe it. I gasped as I felt the pain in my chest expand until I couldn't take it anymore. I turned and ran, trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to break me completely.

"Bella!" I heard him yell, but I ignored him and kept running.

He caught me when I was just feet away from the truck. I felt his hand on my wrist and he jerked me back to him, pleading with me to listen.

"Let me go, Edward! Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed at him. I kept my head down as I tried to remove his hand so I wouldn't have to look at him, I feared if I did he would break me like he always did.

"Bella, please, just listen," Edward pleaded, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him. I yanked my arm away from him and stepped back to put some distance between us, not wanting him to touch me at all anymore. I couldn't believe he would do this to me. I wanted to yell and thrash and cry at the same time I was so… hurt. I had trusted Edward, defended him to my dad – who it turns out was right all along.

"What do you have to say, Edward? That you're sorry? It was nothing? That you're drunk?" I felt the tears pouring down my face and I hated them, I hated that he would see them and know how badly he had hurt me.

"Bella, what happened?" Alice called as she emerged from the front door with Jasper on her heels. Now that I looked at the house I realized we had a rather large audience watching us. Alice ran over to me and looked from me to Edward and back before she gathered me up in her arms. I clung to her desperately and buried my face in the hollow of her shoulder, finally letting the sobs rip through me. I couldn't even answer her; I couldn't do anything at that moment but cry and hurt.

"What the fuck did you do, Edward?" Alice screamed at him. There were yells and whoops from the crowd too, I guess our drama had distracted the entire party. I cried even harder for having my heartbreak witnessed by so many drunken idiots. It was no doubt going to be the talk of the school on Monday. I could already hear the whispers about how Edward Cullen had cheated on the new girl and how she made a scene in front of everyone.

"I didn't fucking do anything, I swear!" With my face buried in Alice's hair I couldn't see his face but his voice was thick with emotion I didn't believe. "Bella, I swear I didn't touch her, please, baby, you have to believe me. I promise you, Bella, please."

"Oh, you didn't do anything? Then why the fuck is my best friend so fucking upset? I knew you were going to fuck this up, you piece of shit! What did you do?" she asked again.

"Alice," Jasper called in a warning tone.

I shook my head against Alice's shoulder, just wanting to leave. "Can we go, Alice? Please, I don't want to be here anymore," I cried. I was humiliated enough and I just wanted to get away.

"Go with her, sweetheart. I'll take Edward home," I heard Jasper say.

"No, fuck that!" Edward bellowed. "Bella, please talk to me. Let me explain!" I felt his hand – and I knew it was his – on my back and I wrenched away from his touch.

"Don't you fucking touch her, Edward!" Alice yelled as she tried to shield me with her own body.

"Alice, I swear to God, if you don't let her go right now I'm gon-"

"Hey!" Jasper cut in, his tone even but menacing, "You better check your tone when you speak to my girl, man. Alice, take her home. Edward, c'mon, let's go."

"Fuck you, Jazz!" Edward yelled. I heard a scuffle and finally looked up to see Jasper and Edward pushing each other around.

Out of nowhere a large, burly figure that I immediately recognized as Emmett was between them. To my surprise he grabbed Edward from behind, wrapping his massive arms around Edwards and keeping them locked behind his back. "You need to chill, bro," Emmett warned as he struggled to keep Edward in his grip. "Now's not the time. You girls get out of here," he directed us.

With a lingering glance in Jasper's direction Alice finally dragged me away.

"You're lucky I can drive a stick, Bella, otherwise we'd be fucked," she said as she started up the truck. I curled into a ball in the seat next to her, wrapping my arms around myself to keep from falling apart completely.

It hurt. Everything. It felt unreal; I didn't know I could feel so… devastated. I felt betrayed and used. _How could he?_ I kept repeating to myself. Things had been going so well before and sure, he was drunk but that was not an excuse. It didn't make sense.

I was grateful that Alice drove us to her house instead of taking me back home. I didn't want to have to explain to Charlie I was such a mess. Neither of us moved to leave the truck once she had parked alongside the curb in front of her house. I was still crying, sobbing silently as I tried to block out the pain but failing miserably. It had always been hard not to think about Edward and now was no exception, although this time I couldn't get the image of him and Jessica out of my mind. I felt like that memory would forever be etched in my brain and I would never forget the moment my whole world fell out from under me. And then I cried for letting a boy get the better of me, for letting my guard down and allowing someone else to become more important to me than myself. I cried for being so stupid as to trust someone who I was warned would only hurt me. I cried for being a fool.

I cried until I had nothing left, until I was drained of everything and yet still so full of emotion. Alice held me and let me ruin her probably-designer shirt without saying a word. And I was grateful because I really didn't want to talk about it yet, she knew I would when I could.

We finally made it up to her room after I had gathered myself up enough to greet Mr. and Mrs. Brandon as Alice explained to them that I would be staying the night. The Brandon's were always nice to me. I noticed Mrs. Brandon's eyes lingered on me longer than normal and I knew that she knew something was wrong. She didn't touch on it, instead telling us that if we needed anything to let her know. Her tone was full of suggestion and concern and it moved me almost to the point of tears again that she was being so kind to me.

In Alice's immaculately pink room I stripped off my jeans and shimmied out of my bra before curling up under the covers as Alice changed in her bathroom. It wasn't the first time I had stayed the night with her so I knew she wouldn't mind if I claimed a side of the bed. Once we were both in bed, the lights off and her fucking ambient sound playlist playing in the background, I finally spoke.

I told her everything, giving her as much detail as I could remember. It was like word vomit, a fucking play by play with painfully detailed commentary of the worst moment of my life, so far.

"You should have beat that bitch's ass," Alice said.

I couldn't help but laugh. That would be the one thing Alice would have done differently, she was a little pistol. "Are you saying you would have, had it been Jasper?"I asked.

"I would stab a bitch," she replied only half joking.

"With your stiletto heel?" I joked, surprised my sense of humor had survived the ordeal.

"Why do you think I wear them all the time?" she joked back and I laughed, like actually laughed.

We were quiet then as we listened to the ambient sounds bouncing off the walls, the sound amplified by our silence.

"So what are you going to do?" she asked tentatively.

I remained quiet as I pondered that question. Right now, forgiving Edward was not even on the table. It might never be. But I knew I would miss him soon enough and I hated that fact. I knew he would come around begging for forgiveness and pleading for understanding, but would I give it? Should I? What would it say about me if I did? Even if I could forgive him someday I would always have the image of him and Jessica in my memories, that's just not something you forget and I would always have that in the back of my mind.

The truth of the matter was that I just didn't know what to do.

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**A/N**

**Who can blame her? I wouldn't know what to do either. It's a bad place to be in.**

**Working on the update, I'll try to make it good. **

**Feel free to let me know what you thought.  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N **

**Changed my name. edanmacu was good while it lasted but I figured I needed one that people could at least pronounce haha. If you know what my inspiration was for this one then you are, by default, the shit.  
**

**Anyway, real A/N at the bottom.**

**Still don't own it, still don't mind.  
**

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EPOV**

The surface under me was hard. Too hard. I wasn't waking up in my bed, I deduced that much. My eyes fluttered open but I squeezed them shut immediately. It was too fucking bright, the over head lights shining down on me like a fucking spotlight. I knew where I was immediately; the brief moment my eyes were open let me know that I was in Jasper's garage, on the floor. The cheek I had been sleeping on was cold from the concrete beneath it but the rest of me was burning up, all the alcohol from last night trying to make its way out of my system by any means. My throat was dry and it physically hurt when I tried to swallow as there was no kind of moisture at all. My arms were tucked under me in a painful tangle of limbs and a simple cotton bed sheet. I groaned as I untangled myself and lifted up on palms so that I was kneeling on all fours. I stopped when I was hit with a wave of nausea and I literally threw up in my mouth a little bit before I fought that shit back down. But all that effort made my head throb so badly I seriously thought it was about to implode. I couldn't remember ever being so hung over that the first thing I wanted to do was throw the fuck up and then die.

Insult to injury.

Maybe in another life (one where God didn't hate me) I would have been fortunate enough to have blacked out and not remembered anything from last night. But I wasn't. I remembered it, I remembered everything. As the memories came flooding back I kind of felt like crying, but I fought that shit back too. Angry, I slammed my fist into the floor beneath me, not giving a fuck that it hurt like a bitch. Well I did care a little bit but I would gladly take the physical pain over the emotional any day.

I wanted to stand up and start trying to sort things out but my body wasn't feeling it yet and I kind of needed to start cooperating soon; I had too much shit to do. Tired and unable to hold myself up anymore, I slipped back down to the floor and rolled onto my back. It was still entirely too bright and I really wanted to go back to sleep but I needed to get up, sober up, and buck up. I knew I had some serious explaining and apologizing to do – to everyone – and I wasn't looking forward to it, but I had to.

I still couldn't really believe shit had gone down the way it did and I was just beginning to realize how truly angry I was. I was angry at Jessica for… well… for fucking taking advantage of me, if I was being completely honest. But I wasn't dumb enough to think that would fly with anyone else. I was going to have to bite the bullet and try to talk my way out of it some other way but, honestly, what the fuck was a guy supposed to do when there was an attractive girl all over his jock and he was ridiculously drunk?

I knew I was wrong, though. I knew damned well I shouldn't have drank so much, especially without Bella there, and I couldn't even give a reason why I had done it. Maybe I could argue that I was nervous about the fact that there was a possibility I would be having dinner with the chief in the near future or that I was celebrating the fact that I had just realized I was in love with my girl. And yeah, I got the fucking irony and no, I knew it didn't matter what the excuse was. What happened, happened. But I couldn't believe that Bella hadn't given me the chance to explain anything. That she wouldn't even fucking listen to me. And that shit might have hurt more than anything else. I had hurt her so much that she straight up shut me out and wanted nothing to do with me. It made me mad, even though I understood why she wouldn't. I don't know what I would have done if the situation was in reverse; I didn't even want to think about it.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, hoping against hope that maybe Bella had tried to call or send me a text. But there was nothing. And I wasn't surprised.

"You think he's awake?" I heard Emmett's voice ask from outside.

"Doubt it. If I drank as much as he did I wouldn' wake up till tomorrow," Jasper drawled as he opened the door and they stepped inside.

"Rise and shine, asswipe!" Emmett bantered as I came into their line of sight.

His booming voice did nothing to stop the impending implosion of my head. "Emmett, please, do you really have to yell?" I managed to sit up but I was still nauseous as fuck so my movements were like that of a ninety year old man.

"I think you deserve it after the shit you pulled last night," Jasper interjected. "Here." He threw a bottle of Gatorade and a Tylenol packet at me. I muttered my thanks as I swallowed down the pills and downed the Gatorade. One thing I knew about hangovers was that hydration was the key; orange juice and Gatorade were the best options.

The TV was turned on and a blunt was rolled and as the afternoon wore on I began to feel better, physically. Emotionally and mentally I was still a mess. The guys didn't ask me to talk about last night and I was grateful, I was kind of hoping that maybe they would though. But that's not how guys work; if you wanna talk about something you have to bring it up, guys don't go fishing for other guy's issues.

I debated bringing it up for a while but once we were all sufficiently high I figured, the hell with it.

"I'm sorry I tried to fight the both of you last night," I blurted out randomly. "You guys were just trying to calm me down, and I appreciate. But I shouldn't have tried to take my anger out on you," I apologized.

From what I remembered after Alice took Bella home, Emmett and Jasper had to wrestle my drunk ass into Jasper's truck so he could bring me back here. I'd called them all kinds of names and yelled at them until I just fucking broke down. It was very rare that I cried, but I wasn't one of those guys that thought crying was for pussies. Sometimes it just can't be help and last night was one of those times. I remembered them having to practically carry me into the garage and then sitting with me until I calmed down. They shouldn't have had to have taken care of me the way they did. I didn't deserve that kind of compassion.

Em and Jazz exchanged a glance before Jasper leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

"What happened last night, man? We asked you but you were, like… inconsolable or somethin'. You kept sayin' you fucked up and you kept apologizin' but you never said what for."

I almost didn't want to tell them; I didn't want them to think less of me for what I had done. I hadn't really realized until then how ashamed I was. I knew my brother and my best friend well and they were not the kind of guys that would do that to their women, they were so much better than that. I mean, sure, they still looked if a fine ass chick walked by or if a bitch's titties were hanging out of her shirt, but that was innocent guy stuff; we all did it. So what did it say about me that I had failed in that instance, that I had succumbed to that temptation? Especially when I hadn't wanted any of it.

I shook my head as I tried to come up with the words to express how I felt about the situation. I knew that if anybody would understand where I was coming from it would be them, so I decided to just be completely honest.

"I let Jessica suck my dick last night," I admitted. "And Bella walked in on us."

I watched as both of their brows shot up but I felt the need to explain myself; to at least, just this once, give them the excuses that I knew wouldn't save me anywhere else.

"I didn't want her to – Jessica – I didn't want anything to do with her and I haven't since before I even got with Bella. But for whatever reason she decided she wanted me last night. She was in my lap and rubbing herself all over me and I was _so fucking drunk_ I couldn't even think to stop her!" I couldn't look at them anymore so I rested my head on my forearms as I looked down at the floor. "Bella showed up right as Jessica put her mouth on me and at that point there was nothing I could do. That's why she ran away and didn't want me to touch her."

As I said the words the images flashed through my mind and I was sickened by my own actions. I wasn't that guy - I never had been. Cheating was not something I was ok with, for me it had always been the lowest possible form of disrespect – to oneself and to the person being cheated on. But now I was a cheater. I cheated on Bella. My Bella. The girl who chose me over all the other, better guys she had lined up for a chance with her. The girl who took me as I was even though I wasn't worth it. The girl who didn't give a shit that I was who I was and made me think, feel, act, and be… _more_.

"What the fuck am I gonna do, guys? I fucking love that girl… more than anything and I… I can't lose her. I can't."

It was my big brother that spoke first. "Give it some time, Ed. I think the both of you need so calm down a bit before you even think about trying to fix this. You don't want to be this emotional, it'll just make shit worse, you know?"

"Time?" I asked incredulously. "What kind of shit is that? So I'm just supposed to sit here and wait like a fucking idiot with my thumb up my a-"

"He's right, man," Jasper cut in. "I talked to Alice this mornin'. Bella's… she's…" He stammered as he struggling to find the right words. "Well, you broke that girl's heart, Edward. She kinda hates you right now." His words were like a knife to my heart. I already knew all of that shit; he didn't need to remind me. "You have to think about what her thought process is right now. She's all emotions and pain and if you go over there right now I think it'll only make things worse. Either she or the both of you are gonna end up sayin' something you'll regret later. Give it at least a day, man."

I didn't agree with that. "I need her to know that I'm sorry. I don't want her to think I don't care."

They told me not to but this wasn't about them, it was my decision and I felt that I had to do something, anything. I ended up calling her. I ducked outside, sitting with my back against the side of the garage as the cold air helped clear my head. I didn't even care that it was nearly freezing out. It rang twice and then, as I expected, it went to her voicemail. I had actually hoped for it; it would be a lot easier to say what I had to say that way, even though she was probably just going to delete it without listening to it. Her greeting was the same as it had always been, simple and cute and just so… Bella. I don't know if I expected her to have changed her greeting or what, but hearing her cheerful voice deepened the ache in my chest that I had been trying to ignore; I wasn't expecting to have that kind of reaction to it.

I don't even remember exactly what I said. It was probably pathetic and sad and all kinds of emo but I know I said enough. I told her I was sorry and that I knew I had hurt her. And I told her to call me when she was ready, if she was ever ready. I hung up without saying goodbye because I just couldn't stand to say the words.

And then I waited.

That first week was bad. So bad I couldn't even look at her sometimes, her eyes red and always flooded with unshed tears. It felt like she cried for five days straight, but I only saw her at school so it could have been more. I liked to think it wasn't. And I wasn't the only one that noticed. People gave her a wide berth that week, afraid to approach her because she always seemed on the verge of another emotional breakdown. But they all pretended that wasn't the case; they might have been nosey but they were respectful, thank God. I wondered if that had anything to do with me sometimes. Like, out of pity or something. I'm sure they just assumed that my history of being a douche (in their eyes at least) was still an active effort and that I was just doing what I always did and that Bella was just naïve to have fallen for it. I got asked about it a lot those first couple of days after the party, but I never commented on it. I didn't feel the need to and I wasn't going to talk about it until I spoke with Bella; she was going to be the first one to hear it. She deserved that much at least. Jessica was keeping her mouth shut too, which didn't help my case at all. There was no story, just speculation. And that was much, much worse.

It was rough at first because everyone was tense, not just the two of us. Jazz and Rose were the most neutral, but Alice and Emmett were in a little deeper and it was harder for them too. At least Emmett didn't hate me. Alice, on the other hand, did. Man, did that girl hate me. I got the stink eye and the bitch brow daily and she was even hogging Jasper. Emmett, at least, was trying to fix things. He kept trying to be the middle man even after I told him to cut the shit and just let me and Bella figure it out on our own. I swear he was like an old, gossipy woman putting her two cents where it doesn't belong. I loved him for it though; I knew he was just looking out for both of us.

After awhile, but eventually Bella and I could hang out around each other without the other bowing out. And that made everyone a little happier, that we could coexist, that we no longer had to be two separate groups. But even then we still didn't talk. No greetings, no small talk, no fucking "bless you"s or even "excuse me"s. I don't know how I managed to handle it. And it wasn't that she ignored me and she was never rude about it, she was just… indifferent towards me, like it didn't matter to her that I was even in the room. She still talked and laughed and had fun with everyone, she'd even laugh if I said something funny or stupid but that was it. I never hid the fact that I wanted her back. And even when she wouldn't look at me I never took my eyes off her. I gave her space and I gave her time; I wasn't in a rush.

It wasn't easy for me either. There was a good while where I didn't feel like doing shit, so I would just mope around. But that shit got old pretty fucking fast. And with nothing else to do since I had no girl, no job, no real school work, and a best friend whose time was being monopolized by his chick, I found myself finding other ways to pass the time. I started hanging out with some friends on the baseball team and I found myself practicing with them on a few occasion. I was even considering trying out for next year's team. Jake was getting bigger and required more physical activity so we started running which was good for both of us: he got his exercise and I found a release, and it just made the time go by faster.

I was in my room finishing up an essay for English when I heard the doorbell. My mom wasn't home from work yet, dad was still at the hospital, and Emmett was never home anymore so I knew I was going to have to get my ass up and answer the door. I huffed as I pushed my binder off my lap and climbed off my bed with Jake right on my heel.

I wasn't expecting Bella to be on the other side of the door.

"Bella..." I said quietly as I tried to process what it meant that she was standing in front of me.

She was beautiful, stunning in her typical hoodie and jeans. Her hair was up even though it was still pretty cold out and her nose and cheeks were pink from the chill, and still, she was beautiful. She was looking up at me and for the first time in a month I looked deep into those brown eyes and saw her. She was scared and nervous but, above all, she was determined.

"I think I might be ready to talk now," she said, barely more than a whisper.

**BPOV**

I was tired of the bullshit. I was tired of crying myself to sleep at night. I was tired of being pitied.

It still hurt to look at him. Sometimes, when I would steal glances of him when I was sure he wasn't looking, I even missed him. But I knew better. And Alice made sure of that. Alice, bless her heart, tried to help me take my mind off of things by spending a lot of time with me, making sure I was never alone for long periods of time and of course, since it was Alice after all, she started giving me lessons on being a girl. Which sucked- it just wasn't me.

Her antics worked for the most part, but late at night, when it was just me and my thoughts, it was impossible not to think about him. There were times I had to stop myself from reaching for my phone and calling him over. I knew it was stupid and that I should just get over it but that was a lot easier said than done.

And then there was Charlie. I wasn't stupid enough to think he wouldn't notice the change in my attitude and the fact that after that night I never brought up Edward Cullen again. He asked me about it over dinner a couple of days after the incident. I told him things just didn't work out. I thanked god that he had enough intuition to know not to push it. I did notice, however, that he seemed a little pleased about Edward not coming around after all. But Charlie knew I was hurting, even though he didn't know why exactly, and he gave me more privacy than I needed. I guessed he was still scared of the girly emotional break downs.

It was hard, having the same friends as my ex, but they were all I had and I wasn't going to be run off just because I wasn't speaking to Edward, even if they were his friends first. It was unbearably awkward those first couple of days but it got better as everyone began to accept that Edward and I were not getting back together. In the beginning I could literally feel the pity rolling off them in waves toward me and I hated that they paid Edward no attention; why couldn't they just ignore me like they did him? But like I said, it did get better. Rose and Jasper seemed to be indifferent, but Emmett seemed to have the hardest time coping with the split and he still begged me to give his younger brother another shot and if not, to at least let him explain himself to me. Yeah right. With Alice it was odd, she was even angrier with Edward than I was and she didn't try to hide that from him either. Sometimes it bothered me that she was so mean to him, especially since, by default, her attitude affected Jasper's relationship with Edward too and that just wasn't fair.

I tried to move on, to just try to forget about him and what had happened, but I couldn't. Edward was still what I thought about most. Try as I might, that just didn't change. I wanted to know why. I _needed _to know why. And as I brought it up more and more often, Alice was adamant that I change my mind. She was surprisingly protective of me and while I was grateful, I didn't need her to hold my hand and guild me along. This was something I had to figure out for myself. And that's ultimately why I ended up knocking on Edward's door.

"Bella…" he breathed after he swung the door open.

God, he looked good. His hair was getting longer, it was borderline shaggy, and he was growing his facial hair out so he was sporting a pretty impressive beard for someone his age. His eyes were clear too, which was nice, the green in his eyes was so often obscured by the red that came with the marijuana and it was nice to see him sober. But I tried not to focus on that.

"I think I might be ready to talk now…"

He looked shocked; I knew he wasn't expecting me, let alone a confrontation.

"Uh, yeah, ok," he spurted. "Did you wanna come in?" He stepped aside to let me in and standing behind him was Jake. God, he was getting big. When Jake saw me his tail went crazy and his tongue lulled out of his mouth forming a big, goofy, dog grin. It was actually rather impressive that Edward had him trained so well that he managed to remain sitting given his obvious level of excitement. I walked in and knelt in front of him, kneading the spot behind his ears that made him close his eyes.

"He misses you, you know?" I turned around to find Edward leaning against the banister, fondly watching me pet his dog. Part of me suspected he wasn't talking about Jake, though.

"Yeah?" I looked back at him to gage his reaction. "I miss him, too." I wasn't talking about the dog either.

His mouth moved, like he was biting the inside of his lip and he pushed off the railing. "So, you wanna talk?" he asked.

My natural instinct was to take the stairs up to his room where I would plop down on his bed and pull him with me. But that just wasn't how things were anymore. Instead, I led the way to the living room and sat down on one of the ridiculously comfortable couches.

"Do you want something to drink? I think we have some-"

"No, I'm good." I really wanted to keep this short. I knew if I lingered I would end up regretting it; I had already started slipping.

"You sure? There's apple juice," he cooed. He was trying to bribe me; he knew I loved apple juice.

"No, really, it's fine."

He shrugged. "Ok." He sat down on the couch across from me and clasped his hands in front of him, apparently waiting for me to start whatever speech I was about to give him.

I didn't really know where to start. It was a lot easier in my head on the way over but now that I was sitting in front of him I had no idea where to begin. Would it be better if I was just straight up or should I ease into it? I pondered for a second but then I remembered that Edward would respond better to a blunt approach, and I didn't feel like playing any games anyway.

"I'm not asking for any details, Edward. I'm just here because I need to know why you did it. I don't understand what happened that night and I've been trying to get over it, but whenever I think about it… I just get so angry at you. How could you do that to me? I thought…. Well, I guess it really doesn't matter what I thought… I just want to know why."

I watched his face as his expression shift again and again as if he had several answers and was trying to decide which one to give. I knew he wouldn't lie to me. But I also had no idea what his answer would be. And I had spent a lot of time thinking about it. Was it really something I did that made him stray? I hadn't returned the favor, so to speak, but I had been working up to it. It wasn't that I wouldn't have, I just had never done it before and didn't want to look like a fool when I tried. But I would have done it, eventually. Was that really the reason why? Maybe I was just too inexperienced for him. Maybe he did get tired of waiting.

He looked at me then, and his eyes were pleading. "Bella… I don't have a good answer for that - or at least not one that would satisfy you. But I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

That was nowhere near good enough. "Edward. Tell me why."

"What do you want me to say, Bella?"

"I want you to tell me the fucking truth, Edward! What? Was it me? Did you get tired of waiting for me to be ready? I told you I needed time, Edward – not that I didn't want to!"

"Jesus, Bella, no! That's not why; it has nothing to do with that!"

"Well what the fuck else am I supposed to think!"

I didn't realize it, but we had both stood up and were practically screaming in each other's faces. When it dawned on us that we were in such an intense position we sat back down. He sighed and threw his head back against the couch in a very much defeated gesture.

"Here's the truth, Bel. I was drunk… so fucking drunk. I didn't even know Jessica was at that party until she sat on my lap. And I tried to stop her but by the time I could get a handle on things you walked up on us. You don't have to believe that, and it's not an excuse, it's just what happened. And I didn't mind waiting; I would have waited however long it took for you to be ready. I haven't wanted anyone but you since the moment I saw you on your first day at school."

He straightened up and startled me by closing the distance between us and coming to kneel in front of me. Yeah, he was actually on his knees. He looked up at me from under his long lashes and I'd never seen him so serious. It had been a month since he had unleashed the power of his eyes on me and as always, I was a sucker for them. I could see his honesty, I could see his remorse and I knew he was about to ruin me.

"I understand if you don't want to believe that and I don't deserve your forgiveness or understanding – I'm not asking for it. Not right now. But I am asking you to let me back in. Let me be a part of your life again, Bel. I miss you… so fucking much. I miss talking to you and just being around you. No one understands me the way you do. You were my best friend, Bella, and I just want us to be back there. Just friends, for right now - or forever - that's up to you. I know I hurt you and you may never trust me enough to be with me again, but I swear to you, I will never, ever, fail you again. I promise."

I didn't know if I could do that, be friends with Edward again. But I believed him, for whatever reason, I believed he hadn't meant to hurt me. He had never been anything but sweet to me and the night before that party he had given me the best Valentine's Day gift I could have ever expected. Up until that night he had been amazing to me, (with the exception of withholding his past from me, but I understood why he did that) which was why I was so devastated; it felt like it came out of nowhere. His explanation didn't excuse him by any means but I felt better about everything now that it was all laid out on the table. And he wasn't asking for me to take him back, for which I was grateful; I was not ready to even think about that.

But he was right, he had been my best friend too and I missed him, more than I ever cared to admit to myself. There was a void in my life now that Edward wasn't there and it wasn't a lack of a boyfriend, it was the lack of a friend. Of everything, the intimacy, the affection, the notion that I had someone who desired me, I missed his friendship the most. But…

"You broke my heart," I whispered, still staring into his eyes, remembering how I felt when I saw him with Jessica, Jessica who I was going to give the stink eye to every time I saw her, just because.

"I'm sorry."

"I trusted you."

"I know. Can you ever again?"

I thought about that. Trust was earned, everyone knew that. Could Edward really earn my trust back? And even if he did where would we go from there? I had been falling in love with him, and part of me didn't want to let that go. Admittedly it was more than a little masochistic to give him another chance, but he wasn't asking for that. And what would be the point in saying no, anyway? We would still be seeing each other often enough and maybe, in time, things would work themselves out. I felt like I had to take that chance. I didn't want to hold on to this grudge, I didn't want it to sit there and fester until it eventually just made me bitter and calloused.

"Just friends?" I asked.

"That's all I'm asking for."

I nodded. "I think I can do that."

And finally, he smiled.

* * *

**A/N**

**So sorry for the delay. With Eclipse coming up I found myself too wired to write anything, and then other things happened, like life, and yeah...**

**Anyway, I've got a bit of bad news. Due to circumstances that no one can control I find myself without a beta and until I find another I will not continue posting. Writing yes, posting no. So if you know anyone who would be willing to help me out please send them my way. I hope you understand. I am not abandoning this story at all, and I will finish it. Trust.**


	16. Chapter 16

**EPOV**

Over the next couple of months I was the perfect friend, not only to Bella but to everyone. I was nicer to my family too, which was weird for all of us, but they seemed pleasantly surprised by my new attitude. I still went for a run every day and I tried to apply myself more with my school work. Guess I was just trying to be a better person in general. And I was shocked to find that I actually liked it. But I wasn't doing all of this just to get back in Bella's good graces. No, I was really doing it for me. I was so much happier when I did what I should be doing as opposed to just what I wanted to do.

I cut back on the reefer and the booze too and I found that it was actually kind of fun to be the only sober person surrounded by a bunch of dumb, drunk motherfuckers. Not that I still didn't drink or smoke at all, I just did it for the buzz and not to get fucked up. 'Cause honestly, look where all that shit got me.

"Come on, man let me play Star Wars. You've been playing Madden all night!"

"Fuck you, Em."

"Jazz, I'm gonna punch you in the face."

"You punch your mom in the face."

"Motherfu-"

"Guys!" I cut in. "Chill. Em, you have Star Wars at home."

"Yeah, but I wanna play now." My older brother: the gargantuan child.

Bella giggled beside me and I turned to look at her. She was sitting next me on the couch with her legs tucked under her, a text book and binder resting in her lap. I found it kind of cute that she was sitting there studying while the rest of us were content to waste away another Friday night.

"You know you have all weekend to do your homework, right?" I asked her as Em and Jazz continued to argue with each other.

"Yes, I'm aware of that. But, I'd rather do this than watch you all play video games," she retorted, her eyes never leaving her textbook.

"Did you want a turn?" I teased.

She side-eyed me. "That's hardly the point."

I couldn't help the grin that formed on my face. "Well what's the point then?"

She sighed and flipped to another section in her book. "The whole purpose of staying in tonight was to have 'family time'," she actually air-quoted, "and look at you! Alice and Rosalie are nose deep in their phones and you, Em and Jazz are obsessed with football."

"Family time" as Alice called it was designated time we were all to spend together with no phones, no computers, and no video games. It did seem that none of them were too into at the moment.

"Hey, don't lump me in with everyone else. I haven't touched my phone or a controller since I got here. And what about you? You're balls deep in that book."

"This is different; I'm actually doing something productive." She said it in a very "duh" tone.

"Productive," I nodded. "I don't remember productivity being in the 'family time' rule book."

"There's no rule book."

"There should be."

Annoyed that I was obviously just fucking with her, she finally closed her binder and looked at me. "Do you enjoy getting on my nerves?" she asked. If it wasn't for the smile she was trying to suppress, I could have sworn she was being serious.

I pursed my lips and tilted my head back a little, pretending to be really thinking about my answer. "Yes," I replied simply.

She scoffed/laughed and threw her pen at me. "Ass."

I chuckled and collected her pen from my crotch where it happened to have landed. I reached for her hand and drew a little smiley face with its tongue hanging out in the middle of her palm. As soon as I pulled away she stuck her finger in her mouth and used her saliva to remove my mark from her. I pouted.

"Hey, when you guys are done flirting it up over there we need you to vote on the movie," Emmett announced with a smile on his face.

Since Bella and I made up, Emmett's life mission to get us back together and I guess he thought teasing us every opportunity he got would help with that. From my perspective it wasn't and I really wished he would keep that shit to himself since it seemed to make Bella uncomfortable. But it wouldn't do any good; Emmett would do whatever he thought was best.

Choosing to ignore his comment, I asked Bella what her preference was. I didn't care what movie we saw so I just agreed with her choice. I watched the movie with half interest until I noticed Bella was starting to drift off. I watched from my peripheral vision as her head lolled back again and again while she tried to stay awake. But eventually she straight up passed out and ended up asleep on my arm. I let her. I mean, I still had feelings for her and as pathetic as it sounds I just wanted to feel her close to me. When she woke up after the movie she mumbled an apology and something about drooling but I just laughed and told her it was all good. And before she left for home that night she hugged me. I don't know why she did it or if she even thought about it in her freshly awakened haze, but it happened and I loved it. There was nothing awkward about it either, it was just a hug, a good one.

And you know what I called that?

Fucking progress.

Emmett and Rosalie's graduation was coming up and we were all excited about it, but my parents were especially. As a graduation gift they gave us all tickets to a concert in Seattle. And by us all, I mean all of us - all six of us. It was a good three hour drive but we were all up for the road trip. At first Bella got a little heat from the chief since he still wasn't too fond of me, but he let her go.

We talked about going in separate vehicles but eventually ended up loading up on junk food and cigarettes and packing into Jasper's truck. I didn't mind so much since I didn't want to have to drive all the way back to Forks. I was pretty sure we would all be wiped by the end of the trip anyway.

That night will forever rank as one of the best of my life. I don't know if it was because we were away from home in the big city by ourselves, or if it was just the concert atmosphere, but we had a fucking blast. We even managed to snag some beer and tailgate a bit before the show. No one got drunk though, just a little buzz to get the ourselves in the mood.

What made that night even better for me was how Bella clung to me. It wasn't in a come-on kind of way, I kind of got the feeling she was just a little nervous being around so many people, she just needed someone to be by her side. She even made me dance with her, which was weird because Bella didn't normally dance, but she was good at it and I was too busy having a good time to really question it. I figured Alice must have had something to do with it.

And that's when I really started to notice that Bella was different. Since we split up she seemed more confident, more mature. I liked this new Bella a lot. I just hated that I'd had to break her heart for that to have happened.

The show was amazing and by the time we left the stadium we were all exhausted. We crammed back into the truck and within minutes mostly everyone was passed the fuck out. I was pretty tired too but I wasn't sleepy tired. I was in the back seat with Bella so when she fell out she ended up leaning on me again. I didn't really think about it when I put my arm around her; I just did it. And like it was the most normal thing in the world, Bella molded herself against me and just like that, we were cuddling again. I basked in the moment; I'd missed the feel of her so much.

Aside from the music playing softly through the speakers and the deep breathing of the sleeping occupants it was silent in the truck. I stared out the window, watching the trees pass and gazing at the stars and I wished I could have my girl back. I wished we could go back to how it used to be before I fucked everything up. I wished that she would look at me the way she used to, all open and excited. When she looks at me now it's guarded and scared. What I wouldn't give to have her forgive me and give me another chance.

I squeezed her a little, just wanting her closer for a moment and placed a kiss on the top of her head. Her hair smelled good, strawberries, like always.

I must have moved around too much because she began to stir. I hadn't meant to wake her so I tried to be as still as possible, hoping she would go back to sleep. But she didn't. I watched as she tilted her head up towards me, her eyes heavy with sleep.

We stared at each other for a moment - a loaded moment. Then her eyes darted down to my mouth, and then back up. I mirrored her. Then her little hand came up and she cupped my cheek in her palm. I brought my hand up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. And then, without another thought from either of us, our mouths came together. I didn't push too hard but I gave enough to show her that I wanted her. Hers was firmer than mine - more insistent, but I kept a slow pace. I felt her tongue sweep lightly across my bottom lip and I reached for her, placing my hand on the side of her neck and bringing her closer to me. I felt more than heard her moan and I gave her one in return. Her hands were all over my face as we continued to move with each other, finding a new rhythm in a familiar act. We tried to be quiet, tried to keep our kisses as soundless as possible but I really didn't care one way or another who heard us. I was just so glad to be back in her arms, even if for just for that moment.

She pulled away first, and we stared at each other for another long second. I tried to read her expression but I couldn't be sure. She didn't look upset though so I took that as a good sign. I gave her a little smile - to let her know I was good - and she kind of giggled before placing one last peck on my chin. She burrowed into my chest and I held her tightly as I took a look around the truck. Everyone was still sleeping and Em's eyes were still fixed on the road so I guessed no one had seen us.

I didn't know what to make of what had just happened but I figured we'd talk about it soon enough, so I was content to just hold her for the rest of the ride home. I rested my head on hers and we stayed that way for some time, both of us lost in thoughts of what this meant for us. She didn't leave my side until we pulled up to her house.

**BPOV****  
**  
I couldn't believe what happened. It all still seemed a little surreal, how one thing just kind of led to another. And more surprising was how good it all felt - how right it felt. I guess if I had to I could trace the start of it back to the concert - before the concert actually, when Edward let me cling to his side because there were so many people and the crowds were so big I was scared of getting lost. He didn't have to let me, he wasn't mine to claim that way and I wasn't his to protect or look after, but he let me and it meant something to me. I even made him dance with me and I laughed at the shocked look on his face. He had more rhythm than I did but that didn't matter, we had fun. I don't even know how that happened. It was like I was just watching myself do all of these things and I wasn't really in control; I just kind of let them happen. Almost like living out a dream, or an out of body experience. After months of fighting every decision, every thought, every action, it felt amazing to let the pieces fall where they wanted to.

But what happened in the truck… I don't know. I started drifting off so I leaned into him like I had before but this time he pulled me in close, like he really wanted me and I let him hold me. I was still dozing on his shoulder, half asleep but still mostly coherent when I felt him kiss my hair and then breathe me in. I knew that's what he was doing because I did that same thing to him every time I had the chance. I loved his smell and it always brought this sense of... comfort... and... home... with it, so I understood why he did it.

And that realization that we both still craved each other the same way... it made something click. It was nothing, just a thoughtful act and really insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but there was just something about that gesture that stirred something inside of me – in my mind and my heart. And then I was reeling. My brain exploded with images of Edward being Edward, memories of the last couple of months, and how he had been making me fall in love with him all over again. How he was always there, even when I didn't need him. How he laughed at me instead of with me and how he still pissed me off, but he didn't care because he knew I didn't really mind either. He was just him and I was just me. And all of a sudden I realized that was exactly how we were supposed to be. We didn't need any definition, no explanation; we just worked together, it was effortless. It's why we fell back into the friend phase so easily. And it would have been so easy to stay that way - just friends, but I was coming to the conclusion that that was not at all what I wanted.

In that one moment he changed everything. I wanted him. Only him, regardless of what went wrong before. We both knew what we lost and he had made it clear he was just waiting for me. He was waiting for me to catch up to him and realize that what we had was worth fighting for, it was worth forgiving and forgetting for because in the end, without each other, we were less than what we could be.

I feared that kissing him would be a mistake but as soon as we came together I let the doubt float away, along with my reserve. I stopped fighting those feelings I'd been pushing back and I felt them hit me with unbelievable force as his mouth moved against mine. Because even though he'd hurt me, I knew he was sorry and I knew he hated himself for it. What I didn't realize was how much I'd missed his stupid ass.

When Emmett finally pulled up in front of my house he tried to follow me out of the truck - to walk me to the door I was sure - I pushed him back, letting my hand linger on his chest for a moment. I hoped he understood what I was trying to convey without words: that I needed a minute to get things together.

That I wasn't saying no again.

That I was hopeful.

He seemed to get it.

I got into my bed that night with a lot on my mind, my thoughts going a mile a minute. It was crazy how quickly things had changed and what this meant for the future. And there was still so much to figure out, but for the first time in what felt like forever, I actually knew how to make everything work.

_**Hi.**_I texted.

I had spent nearly an hour trying to decide how to open the conversation and that's what I chose to open with? Great.

It took only seconds for him to text back with a "_**Hi**_" of his own.

I fiddled with the keyboard on my phone, typing out and then erasing several possible conversation points. I didn't know how to start.

_**What are you doing?**_ I asked.

_**Thinking about you. **_Was his quick response. I giggled at his bluntness. At least he was being honest. And I was more than a little happy with his answer.

_**Thinking about me, or what happened?**_  
_**  
Both. But mostly you in general. And how much I miss you. Did you have fun tonight?**_  
_**  
I did. Thank your parents for me. **_

_**I will. **_And just a few seconds later, _**So you don't miss me then?**_

_**I never said that.**_ I don't know why I was trying to be coy, I'd already made up my mind.

_**Oh... ok.**_

I huffed. He wanted me to say it. But I kind of liked teasing him. _**I might miss you a little.**_

_**Just a little?**_

_**Enough. **_I quipped.

_**Ha. not a lot... but**_ _**I'll take it.**_

He made me smile.

_**So... **_he prompted after a couple of minutes.

_**So...**_I mimicked.  
_  
__**You know I hate it when you do that…**_  
_  
__**I got it from you. **_  
_  
__**Shuddup. **_

I got tired of the games so I figured I'd just get to the point and save us both a little angst, Lord knows we'd been through enough.

_**Come pick me up?**_I asked.

My room was silent for a long minute.

_**On my way. **_

I loved that there were no questions asked.

It was almost two in the morning, but it was Friday night so I wasn't worried about being up late. I knew Edward wouldn't have difficulty sneaking out of his house and I knew I could get out easily enough, but I was a little worried that Charlie might wake up and see that I was missing. Granted, that was pretty unlikely considering he slept like the dead nowadays, but you never know. I paused in the hall way to make sure he was asleep anyway. He was snoring heavily, sleep apnea in full swing so I knew I was pretty safe. Regardless, I moved through the house on his inhales and paused during the exhales - because I was smart like that –and I made it out the front door undetected. At least I hoped so.

I walked down to the corner of my street and waited for Edward. It wasn't long at all before the silver Volvo pulled up to the curb and he pushed the passenger door open from the inside, because he was a gentleman like that.

"Hey," he breathed as I buckled my seat belt. "Since when do you sneak out?"

"Since now," I smiled at him. Try as I might to fight it, I still felt funny in my chest and stomach when I looked at him. And I tried not to look at him the same way - the way I used to - but it was so hard when he was in such close proximity. Especially when he looked as good as he did in his navy pajama pants and a grey v-neck.

He smiled back. "It's a shame I missed you climbing down that tree."

"Fuck the tree, I left through the front door." I chuckled at the ridiculousness that would have been me climbing down that tree.

"Yeah, that was probably safer." I nodded. He appraised me for a second before turning to face the windshield. "So, where do you wanna go?" he asked as he put the car in gear and pulled away from the curb.

I told him I wanted to go somewhere where we could talk and we ended back at his house. He took my hand as he led me up to his room. I let Jake out of his kennel and called him up on Edward's bed as I got settled against the headboard. He was getting so big.

Edward made sure his door was locked before he joined us. Jake, tail just wagging away, tried to lick my face but Edward snapped his fingers and he was back in his kennel.

"That's not very nice," I told Edward.

"He has no manners," he said as he stood beside the bed.

"What's that about the apple not falling far from the tree?"

He contemplated that for a second. "Touché."

We shared a chuckle before the silence settled again. I knew it was on me, that he was waiting for me to say something. I patted the spot on the bed beside me and he came and sat next to me, propping himself up on the headboard too and reached for my hand again.

"Is this ok?" he asked as he traced the lines on my palm.

"It's ok," I assured him, really liking the way his calloused fingers felt against my skin.

"What did you want to talk about?" His focus was fixated on the patterns he was drawing on my hand.

"Us."

His ministrations halted for the slightest second before he resumed his mapping. "Us?"

"Yeah, us… and what happened tonight." He looked at me then. His eyes searching mine for something – what exactly, I wasn't sure. He didn't say anything; he had already given his speech, now it was time for mine.

"I don't know how that happened," I continued. "Maybe it was because we had such a good time today, maybe it was more than that – I don't know. But… regardless, I think I realized something..."

"What?" he implored, his eyebrows pulled together in contemplation.

"I just miss you," I blurted. "I miss you a lot sometimes." It was hard to say those things to him, to be completely honest and lay my heart out like that. I didn't like the thought that I was leaving myself open to another heart break but I had to take that chance. I had lost it once and I knew it was worth having, even if it meant that I might lose it again.

"I miss you too," he replied and I felt my chest tighten.

"But I'm scared, Edward."

"Of me?"

"Of you, of us, getting hurt… everything."

"Bella," he said, his voice pleading and tense. "I won't ever hurt you again. I swear to you. Please... one more try." He looked into my eyes and I saw him, and I knew he could see me too. "I won't fail you again, I lost too much the first time. And being your friend these past couple of months has been great. We kinda went back to basics and that was fun, but I can't keep doing this. It kills me not to be able to have you, and to have to hold back my feelings for you when all I want to do is be with you. And I know it's killing you too. That's why… things went down the way they did tonight; you're tired of it too."

His eyes were blazing, fiery with the passion of his emotions. I looked away. I had to. It was just too intense to keep eye contact. He was right, he was so fucking right. How was I expected to see him like this and not give him what he wanted – especially when what he wanted was me? It was like trying to force magnets apart— yeah, it was doable and it was possible for them to remain apart, but they'd always be compelled for each other, and they would always be strongest together.

"Edward..." I whispered. And then I was reaching for him, pulling him closer to me as I climbed into his lap.

His lips were on mine in an instant, his hands cupping my face and then trailing over my shoulders and down my back. He kissed me soft and slow and he was so tender that I wanted to cry. I kissed him back much the same, enjoying the slow rhythm we made together.

And then I was on my back and his mouth was on my neck, sucking and nipping softly. I moaned and arched under him, wanting to feel his weight on me. He knew what I was craving and he pressed himself completely against me, not leaving an inch of space between us. My hands tangled in his hair as I wrapped my legs around his waist, eliciting a hiss from him as he came back to kiss my mouth. Gradually, his kisses became frantic and he began to thrust his hips against me, rocking us slowly as he panted against my mouth. I whimpered at the friction and writhed against him as the heat between us intensified. I was lost, gone, completely enthralled by him, by the moment, by the passion I felt for the beautiful boy on top of me.

His hands made quick work of my shirt and bra and eventually I was naked and exposed before him. I wasn't going to stop him, not now, not tonight. And maybe I should have. Maybe it was too soon.

Then again maybe it wasn't.

He did stop to ask me if I was ok. I told him not to stop.

He kissed me everywhere - anywhere he could reach, making sure to linger where I was most sensitive. There was just so much _feeling_, it was like all my nerve endings were on high alert, the faintest touch was like an electric shock. Pretty soon I was a mess, every pass of his hands and his mouth bringing me closer to the edge. And then he put his mouth on me, his tongue swirling and gliding, his fingers teasing my entrance. It didn't take long before I was a tensing, quivering, whimpering mess.

He came back up and I used what little strength I had to pull him down to my mouth. "I love you," he whispered before sealing his declaration with a kiss. "I only want to love you."

And then I felt the pieces of my heart that were still missing find their way home and I was whole again.

I pulled his shirt off of him and he helped me rid him of his pajamas pants. Bare, he slid against me as our mouths refused to be separated and when he reached into his nightstand for a condom, I didn't stop him. I knew what I wanted and I wasn't afraid or worried about pain or regret.

I watched as he tore into the gold wrapper with his teeth and then as he slid the glistening latex down his shaft. He made sure it was on right and then positioned me under him the way he wanted.

He came back down on top of me and kissed me again. "Are you sure, love? We don't have to do this right now. We can stop."

I shook my head. "I want to." I couldn't really believe that it was actually going to happen, but I knew I wanted it. I wanted him, I wanted to give myself to him.

"If it hurts too much, tell me," he cautioned. I nodded.

Edward lined us up and then propped himself up on his palms as he began pressing forward with his hips. I felt myself stretching open as his tip entered me and it wasn't painful at first… just pressure. I tried to relax and not tense up but when he was halfway in I began to feel the burn of being stretched further than ever been before. I didn't tell him that it hurt but he was watching my face and he knew. He slowed even more than before and I could tell he was struggling with the pace but he just kept going and when he reached the barrier he stopped completely and kissed my mouth. And then with one quick, firm thrust, he was in. He grunted and I clutched his back, my fingers pressing into his skin as I cried out from the pain. Edward claimed my mouth again and I tried to relax as he began moving inside of me, still slowly but with purpose.

Even though he was as gentle as he could manage it burned for a while and I was hyper aware of every movement he made within me. His thrusts were shallow, more of a grinding than anything. I watched his face as he moved above me and I found myself becoming aroused by the noises we were making and the sound of his breathing along with his muted groans and words whispered so low I couldn't make them ("them" added) out. Once the pain subsided enough to feel anything more, I began moving with him, trying to time my hips with his. His shocked eyes met mine and it didn't take long until his rhythm faltered, becoming erratic and almost frantic. With the pain mostly gone I was left feeling a pleasure, the likes of which I had never felt before as he pounded into me deep and hard, pushing moans up out of my throat with each thrust.

"God, baby," he groaned, "I don't wanna come yet."

But he was too close and I felt him grow harder inside of me as he neared his climax. It became so intense that I felt like I might come again, but I was more desperate for his orgasm than my own and I pulled him down by his hair to kiss his lips again. He whimpered into my mouth as he finally let go, his final thrusts so deep and hard my ass actually came off the bed. He relaxed after a moment, his whole body uncoiling a little at a time.

"Did I hurt you?" he mumbled against my throat. He was still on top and inside of me.

"Maybe a little…" I said and his head shot up, his eyes soft and remorseful. "But I liked it," I amended with a smile.

I felt my heart flutter when he smiled back and I wondered if I would always feel so strongly for him. I was pretty sure I would.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"I fucking knew you'd like it rough," he teased, grinning like an idiot.

"Oh, shut up!" I said, shoving him playfully so he'd roll off of me.

Even though were both sweaty and exhausted we clung to each other afterwards. He played with my hair as I traced patterns on his chest and abdomen, really liking the new muscles he had acquired in our time apart. We didn't talk - there was no need - we had expressed everything through touch and feel and that was more than enough for both of us. And the rest we would figure out later.

He took me home before the sun came up and I kissed him before I got out of the car, whispering to him the words I had left unsaid in his room.

"I love you, too."

CPOV

I had no idea what the hell was going on with Bella. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I didn't care but… yeah, I guess I kind of didn't. As long as she was still mad at that boy I really didn't give a shit what she did. At this point I trusted her enough to just let her be. So far, so good. What other kind of trouble could she get into?

After that day Bella asked me about bringing the boy over for dinner, she hadn't brought him up again. I didn't want to jinx anything but it looked they might have had a fight and I didn't want to get in the way of that. So I didn't ask her about it. It didn't escape my notice, however, that she was upset for a good while after that. And, seeing as how me and all that emotional stuff just don't mix, I kinda let her do her own thing. I mean, I asked if she was ok and I played my dad role when I felt I needed to, but I had no idea how to deal with a daughter who was going through what looked like a pretty difficult break up. Plus, I was admittedly a little more than pleased about it than I should have been.

I was biased.

And she knew that, too, which is why I think she never brought it up.

Other than that small period of angst, things had been rather pleasant in my house. But I had a feeling that wouldn't last forever.

I'm not that lucky of a person.

"How was the concert?"

Bella and I were having eating breakfast together the morning after the big show in Seattle. I was actually a little jealous that the Cullen's had gotten them all tickets for the show. I was a huge fan of the band myself.

"It was awesome. Amazing, to say the least. And they played the best set. It was awesome," she gushed.

"Awesome." I nodded.

"How was work?"

I didn't like talking about my job with Bella, mostly because I didn't want her to know all the gritty details, but also because I didn't want to bring that shit home. I learned my lesson with Renee.

I shrugged over my bowl of cereal. "Same shit different day. That's what I love about small towns, only so much trouble you can get into."

"Well, aren't you the optimist?" she teased.

"I try." I grinned at her.

We settled into a comfortable silence as I pulled out the morning paper and she studied the back of the cereal box with this weird little smile on her lips.

"Hey, uh, dad?"

"Yes?"

"Do you mind if I hang out with Edward today?"

I balked.

"Edward? I thought you broke up."

"We did. We got back together." She said it as if it was no big deal.

"Well, I think you should think about this a little bit, Bels. I mean, he did hurt you didn't he? Who's to say it won't happen again. Can you really trust him?" Call me an asshole for trying to bring my own daughter down but I didn't like this and she needed to really think about the consequences of getting back with that little shit.

"Yeah, we kind of hurt each other. But we talked about it and we want to give it another shot."

"But, Bella – "

"No, dad. I love him and he loves me and you can try to fight this if you want, but one way or another we're going to be together."

Wait, love?

"You love him?" I asked, putting as much skepticism into my tone as possible.

"Yes."

"And he loves you? All of the sudden?"

She rolled her eyes at me, annoyed that she had to explain herself. "No, not all of the sudden. It was a learning process."

I didn't like it. Not at all. But that's the thing with kids - you can tell them not do something because you know better, but most of the time they have to experience it for themselves. They have to learn some lessons the hard way, because sometimes there is no easy way out. But I guess that's what being a parent is, maybe it's learning that you have to let them go, and you have to let them fail so that they can grow from that experience, so that they'll be stronger. We can't live their lives for them because that's not our job; our job is to lead them down the right path, and be there to pick them up when they fall, time and time again, until they get it right. Like teaching a toddler how to walk, it takes some time and they fall a lot, but you don't give up on them, because eventually they will get it right… and then over time they won't need your help anymore, but you'll always been there just in case.

I sighed in defeat. What was I to do?

"I don't wanna see you hurt, and if you come back into this house again looking the way you did the last time he broke your heart someone is going to pay for it," I warned her. And I was serious. If he hurt her again I would end him, one way or another.

"He won't hurt me again," she said, definite.

I nodded, contemplating the unlikelihood of that. "He better not."

She rolled her eyes and went back to her cereal box, a little grin on her face. "Guess you'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

**A/N**

**Told you guys I wasn't abandoning this story. But I'm still sorry for the delay. Life, ya know?  
**

**So, that was the last chapter. I have an epi comin' up and I swear it won't take nearly as long to update. Maybe just a couple of days.  
**

**Beta job was done by the wonderful THEsnapcrakklepop and anything that doesn't look right is all me.**

**I don't deserve reviews, but I'd really love to know what you guys think.  
**


	17. Epilogue

**EPOV**

Things got a lot better after she took me back. Not perfect, but better. I was still an asshole and I still fucked up again and again, but I'd learned my lesson and every mistake I made after was nothing in comparison. I loved Bella as much as I could and I tried to keep the bullshit to a minimum - we both did, really.

We finished our senior year strong. Neither of us really wanted to do all the senior crap but we toughed it out and got through it together. Prom ended up being a pretty big suckfest but that was to be expected. Graduation was... educational. Going into it I was anxious because I'd only remembered all the bad things about high school, all the tests, the essays, all those fucking projects, and every boring moment I spent with my head on the desk. But, I hadn't realized until that moment that I'd actually had a lot of fun the last four years. I remembered all the friends I'd made, all the parties we'd gone to or hosted, and those days were we just straight up blew off class to smoke or just chill and I had a feeling I would maybe miss those simple days.

But the best was yet to come.

I never really had a plan for my life. Aside from knowing I'd like to be married with kids one day I never thought about what my career would be. Whenever I'd think about my future I'd see Bella and not much else because to me everything else was just... fucking details. But when Bella started talking about college I realized I had to come up with some type of plan. I started by applying to every school she applied to. When the acceptance letters rolled in, I gave her the option and she picked California… I never understood her fascination with the fucking heat...

It took the chief a while to warm up to me, but given what I'd put Bella through it was totally expected and completely fucking justified. I told him as such. I think I got some points for that. I was as honest with Charlie as I could be figuring it was the best way to earn his trust but fuck, he's one stubborn motherfucker. He finally came around though, it just took a lot of work.

And then we told him we were going to California together and we wanted to get an apartment together.

I'll never forget that night. He lectured us for hours, trying to get us to change our minds.

"Why California? What's wrong with U-dub?" he asked Bella as we sat in his living room, desperately wishing we were anywhere else.

"Uh, its fucking U-dub," Bel dead panned with a chuckle. I couldn't help but smile and look away to keep from laughing.

The chief was not amused. "Why so far, Bels? Honestly? And why not live on campus?" He looked between the two of us. I guess he wanted an answer from me as well.

"Uh," I started, "Well, technically it would be cheaper since my parents offered to help with rent and-"

"They what?" he almost yelled. "They're on board with the two of you... shacking up?"

I laughed internally. He actually just referred to it as "shacking up".

"Chief, listen, my parents offered to pay half the rent if we both got jobs and paid the rest, plus bills and food and stuff." I looked over at Bella and smiled when she reached over and grabbed my hand. "They know how much we both want this and they want to help."

The chief huffed and began pacing around the room, mumbling this and that as he tried to think.

"Wait," he paused and looked over at us, his stare intense. "Are you- I mean, you're not... like, pregnant... right?"

Whoa!

"Nonononono!" I blurted right away, not needing to even hear that shit; I was so NOT ready for a kid.

"Jesus, Dad, no," Bella said, looking as horrified as I felt. "It's not like we're just gonna go over there and go crazy; we have a plan. And we actually got into a really good school and... we already found a really nice place not too far from campus."

He sat down in his chair, defeated. "So that's it then? I have no say?"

I looked at Bella and she was looking at me. I had nothing to say; I'd made it clear to her I was in it for her and that I would follow her anywhere, even to U-dub if that's where she wanted to go.

I watched as she addressed her father. "I love you, Dad - you know that. And I know you're worried about me, but this is something I feel I need to do, like it's where I'm supposed to be. You know how that feels- when Mom left you stayed for Nana and Grandpa because you felt it was the right thing to do, right?"

He nodded, his eyes red and a hand over his mouth.

"This is the right thing for me. I feel it in my bones, Dad. So I have to go."

"But... I just got you back..." he whispered and hung his head.

Bella stood up and walked over to him, pushing him back on the chair so she could sit in his lap and wrap him up in a hug. He hugged her back and I watched as they both gave in and let the tears they'd been holding back flow.

Knowing that Bella and her father weren't usually prone to emotional breakdowns I left the room to give them a moment to themselves. I heard them mumbling things to each other but I tried not to listen. I'd find out later, anyway.

That was the hardest thing we went through that summer; everything else was smooth sailing. Thank fucking God.

Two years later, during winter break, I proposed to Bella. I got Charlie's blessing of course, mostly because I knew he expected me too, but also because I really wanted his approval. I was still unsure of what I was going to do for a career but I had a good enough job and I could provide, so I was ready. I prepared a fucking speech and everything. But he'd known as soon as I pulled him aside. There was a man hug and he gave me a beer. I guess I'd finally earned his trust. We were good after that.

I slipped the ring on her finger while she was asleep and placed her hand next to her face so she'd see it when she woke up. I waited for, like, fucking hours before her eyes finally fluttered open. She didn't notice right away, she just smiled at me and rolled over to find more sleep. But then she stopped dead and spun back around, her left hand flying up in front of her. The look on her face was worth all the bullshit I'd ever gone through in my life. And then she flew at me.

"So you'll marry me then?" I asked against her lips, which were being very insistent.

"Fuck yeah," she breathed, and I knew for certain that she was my fucking soulmate.

And that I was truly happy.

**BPOV**

We let Alice plan the wedding. It was a love/hate thing, but it ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made. The ceremony was beautiful, and perfect for me and Edward. It was a little more traditional than either of us originally wanted, but it Alice found a way to make it feel more personal.

Edward never figured himself good husband material, but he was great at it. It wasn't perfect, by any means, but the good always outweighed the bad. And when it was all said and done, at the end of the day, I got to crawl into bed with him every night, so it was all worth it.

I was happy - we were happy.

But no one's life is perfect.

We were fooling around in bed one morning when I got a phone call. It was a Forks area code.

"Bella?" a male voice asked.

"Who's calling?" I asked, smiling as I tried to keep Edward's hands away from my boobs.

"It's Marcus. From the station."

I sat up. One of my dad's deputies. Charlie... his work... and I knew it had to be bad if Charlie couldn't call me himself. "Wha- Why are you calling me? Is my dad ok? What happened?"

"He... he's gone, Bella."

I don't remember much after that. I know he told me that my father had been shot during a routine traffic stop, that he died instantly. I know I cried, and I yelled, and I threw things. I know Edward was there. He literally picked me up off the floor and held me together. But even his comfort did little to ease my pain. And then, after all the crying and hurting, there was a period of time where I literally felt nothing. For a moment I couldn't even feel Edward.

I just couldn't understand how my dad could be gone, just like that. I'd spoken to him just days before over the phone. But I had rushed off because I had a meeting to go to and I couldn't even remember what our last words were. The guilt was consuming.

Edward tried to convince me that I shouldn't feel bad, that no one could have known. He tried really hard. But it's not as easy to those accept words as it is to hear them.

The town had a huge ceremony for him. Like, it was almost ridiculous. Did they not know Charlie at all? He would have hated it, he would have made a fuss about it being too much. He was humble like that.

But he was their fallen hero, their chief of police since God knows when. And he really did deserve it.

They asked me if I wanted to say anything about him during the service. I wanted to refuse, I really did, but Edward convinced me that I needed to do it, if just to get some closure. So I went up there and said a few things about my dad, how dedicated he was to his job and how much he loved his little hometown. I didn't say a whole lot about my personal relationship with him, even if I tried I would never have been able to say what I really felt about Charlie. I was fine keeping that to myself.

Charlie left us his house and his pension and his life insurance. He left us everything. And when it came time to go back to California neither I nor Edward had it in us to leave. We were both done with school, anyway.

We moved into Charlie's house and it took me a while to accept that it was actually our house. I cried a lot the first few months as I went through Charlie's things, trying to decide what to keep and what to give away. It felt like I was packing him away into all those boxes. I didn't want Edward's help either; it was something I wanted to do on my own.

Gradually, the tears stopped. Not completely, but... I felt better. I went to work at the high school (go figure) and Edward went to work with his dad at the hospital. I don't think either of us thought we would end up where we did, but somehow it felt like it was always supposed to be that way.

Jasper and Alice moved back to town not long after we were settled, so we had our best friends right down the street. Everything was good for a while.

And then things got crazy - good crazy.

I found out I was pregnant on my twenty-seventh birthday. We hadn't really been trying but we weren't exactly being careful either. It wasn't entirely a surprise.

I left the sonogram on the bathroom mirror while Edward was in the shower. I didn't know how to tell him and I thought it would be entertaining to watch him make sense of it for himself.

I was sitting on our bed, listening as he finally stepped out of the shower. I waited a few seconds.

"What the..." I heard him mumble. A smile crept up on my face. "Bella?" He leaned out the doorway, the picture in his hand, a towel around his waist. "What is this?" he asked.

"What do you think it is?" I asked innocently, loving the look on his face as he tried to put two and two together, or tried to accept it.

"Is this my fucking baby?" he asked seriously as he looked down the hallway at me.

I fell in love with him all over again in that moment.

I laughed and nodded. "It's _our_ fucking baby."

That little smirk I loved so much appeared as he walked over to me and pushed me back on the bed, his mouth going right to my abdomen where he kissed anywhere he could. I had no idea he would be so happy.

Charles Anthony. That's what we named him; little Charlie. He's the spitting image of Edward, all copper hair and green eyes, but he has my personality; Charlie's personality. Edward jokes he might actually be him reincarnate. If I believed in that I might think he was right.

Every now and again we talk about having more kids, and when the time is right we probably will. But for right now, things are good.

They're real good.

* * *

**THE END.**

**Thanks for the ride, guys. I really appreciate all the reviews and all the alerts/faves. And I can't even put into words my gratitude for my beta THEsnapcrakklepop.**

**I'll be back with another story sometime in the near future, but I'm always around on twitter if you ever wanna chat. **

**Much love,  
A  
**


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